And so it begins.....

[Bunpoots]

Thank you both. I am glad that dementia has been talked about in the press with the sad news that Barbara Windsor has Alzheimer’s but all the press seem to report is memory loss. They don’t go into the physical aspects of the disease such as loss of mobility, bowel incontinence, aggressive behaviour, loss of desire to eat & drink & so much more.
I think a lot more information needs to come out as regards how we cope with this & how best to help the PWD.

I couldn't agree more!

I'm glad you and your mum got some comfort from yesterday's cat visit. Animals have a special kind of wisdom about them.

 

[Kikki21]

I couldn't agree more!

I'm glad you and your mum got some comfort from yesterday's cat visit. Animals have a special kind of wisdom about them.

I hope my mum got some comfort from the cat. I did knowing my mum would have enjoyed him being there. And he was very wise.
Chloe the lovely nurse said she nearly phoned me this morning as she had not seen my mum so gurgly. She gave her the anti secretion stuff. My mum settled down but has just started being gurgly again so looks like we will need a top up.

She seems to be sleep talking a bit or trying to. She has just said my name twice though & we are getting a lot of facial movements & twitches but she isn’t waking up.

 

[Kikki21]

I am now home for a break. I must admit that I got claustrophobic in the hospital beforehand. My fiancé stayed with me for a while before he went back to do some stuff & then he came back with some sarnies for me as I was really hungry. Just shared a toasted half sandwich with him for lunch so no wonder I was hungry.

We had to get the staff nurse to sign the car parking form again since it has to be renewed every 7 days & we never thought we would be doing that. I still remember being slightly incredulous last week that things had come to that point with my mum.
I still have moments when I think she should have taken the antibiotics for longer. I just feel so awful & so helpless.

 

[Kikki21]

And back in the hospital we go.... my mum seems more gurgly again. A nurse actually removed some fluid ( it’s still the same green bile from before) using a suction pipe from her throat which we had not seen used before. My mum’s pallor still seems to look ok, there is colour in her cheeks.
My mum’s friend rang me tonight on my mobile which made me jump as I was away from my phone ( for a change) & of course I immediately thought it might be the hospital. ☹️

 

[lis66]

Kikki21 you are doing your best and more for your mum at the hardest time imaginable,so glad you got the cat it's a fantastic idea until someone is caring for a person with Ad they have no idea of what this horrundeous disease does to the person ,and also the carer it's cruel and heartbreaking sending you strength and loads of (((hugs))) xxxx

 

[lis66]

Kikki21 you are doing your best and more for your mum at the hardest time imaginable,so glad you got the cat it's a fantastic idea until someone is caring for a person with Ad they have no idea of what this horrundeous disease does to the person ,and also the carer it's cruel and heartbreaking sending you strength and loads of (((hugs))) xxxx

 

[Kikki21]

Kikki21 you are doing your best and more for your mum at the hardest time imaginable,so glad you got the cat it's a fantastic idea until someone is caring for a person with Ad they have no idea of what this horrundeous disease does to the person ,and also the carer it's cruel and heartbreaking sending you strength and loads of (((hugs))) xxxx

Thank you - the support on this forum is so fantastic. And you are right.
A lot of people are not informed/given information about dementia & what happens & can be so unprepared. There is a lady in hospital in the same bay as my mum. I believe she has dementia too ( heard the nurse give her memantine) but she also has diabetes & lost her legs due to that. I’m not sure why she is in hospital, seems a problem with her ears. And her daughter was asking me questions. Her mum screamed so loud when she has something put in her ear.
Her daughter had to leave the room beforehand & didn’t blame her but my mum didn’t even stir ☹️ Xxxxx

 

[Kikki21]

And so... my mum’s journey is over.
The staff nurse on duty rang me & informed me that my mum passed around 5.10am.
I knew that she was going, I could just feel it.
I knew when the call would come that it would be too late to go to the hospital & my mum would have already gone & so this happened.
She chose to go like that & that’s fine.
She probably knew that it was pretty awful for me to witness my dad pass so she spared me that.
The nurse said she went peacefully & that’s all we can ever ask for. Fly high with the angels mum. RIP xxxxxxxx

 

[Moose1966]

And so... my mum’s journey is over.
The staff nurse on duty rang me & informed me that my mum passed around 5.10am.
I knew that she was going, I could just feel it.
I knew when the call would come that it would be too late to go to the hospital & my mum would have already gone & so this happened.
She chose to go like that & that’s fine.
She probably knew that it was pretty awful for me to witness my dad pass so she spared me that.
The nurse said she went peacefully & that’s all we can ever ask for. Fly high with the angels mum. RIP xxxxxxxx

So sorry for you , you have been amazing through this and I’m sure that your mum would have been proud of you . Take comfort that your mum is at peace now

 

[Kikki21]

So sorry for you , you have been amazing through this and I’m sure that your mum would have been proud of you . Take comfort that your mum is at peace now

Thank you so much for your kind words. I sort of feel numb now but yes my mum is at peace

 

[love.dad.but..]

So sorry to hear your inevitable sad news. Your mum will have been comforted by knowing you were there when she needed you and you can be very proud of yourself that you did everything you could for her. It is often the way that our loved one passes when we pop out..it happened for my dad when having been with him constantly in his NH for a week, sleeping there, I popped out for an hour. It is with mixed emotions that we wish for peace for our loved ones but this rotten illness brings a torment for our loved one we want them to be released from.Wishing you continued strength in the weeks ahead and take care of yourself.

 

[canary]

Im so sorry to hear this kikki
You worked so hard for her in her final days - be proud of that.
(((((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))

 

[Kikki21]

So sorry to hear your inevitable sad news. Your mum will have been comforted by knowing you were there when she needed you and you can be very proud of yourself that you did everything you could for her. It is often the way that our loved one passes when we pop out..it happened for my dad when having been with him constantly in his NH for a week, sleeping there, I popped out for an hour. It is with mixed emotions that we wish for peace for our loved ones but this rotten illness brings a torment for our loved one we want them to be released from.Wishing you continued strength in the weeks ahead and take care of yourself.

I had a feeling that she would pass yesterday & I stayed with her as long as I could. We were at the hospital till 11pm & she was peaceful then. I had a feeling as I said my goodbye to her then that it would be the final one. I knew I would get the phone call I was dreading & so it came at 5.30am. I think my mum meant to pass while I wasn’t there & that’s ok. I had made my peace with that during this past week.

 

[Kikki21]

Im so sorry to hear this kikki
You worked so hard for her in her final days - be proud of that.
(((((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))

Thank you @canary my mum has us all wondering how long she would go on for xx

 

[Marcelle123]

I have put a longer message on 'the other thread', but would just like to say here that I'm sorry that your Mum has gone. May she rest in peace.

And to agree with posts above - you gave her so much love in her final days. xxx

 

[canary]

my mum has us all wondering how long she would go on for

Its always like that - the body shuts down so slowly over days, if not weeks.
The vigil is over now, she is at peace
xxx

 

[Bunpoots]

(((hugs))) @Kikki21. You must be sad and relieved at the same time. At least your mum is at peace now and you've done your very best for her.

You must be feeling exhausted and numb. Look after yourself x

 

[Kikki21]

I have put a longer message on 'the other thread', but would just like to say here that I'm sorry that your Mum has gone. May she rest in peace.

And to agree with posts above - you gave her so much love in her final days. xxx

Thank you my lovely - it was inevitable what was happening but for it to happen is still a shock when it does as you know xxx

 

[Kikki21]

Its always like that - the body shuts down so slowly over days, if not weeks.
The vigil is over now, she is at peace
xxx

It feels weird not to be going off to the hospital although we do have to go to the hospital but for a different purpose xxx

 

[Kikki21]

(((hugs))) @Kikki21. You must be sad and relieved at the same time. At least your mum is at peace now and you've done your very best for her.

You must be feeling exhausted and numb. Look after yourself x

At the moment, I’m not sure what I feel. It is an odd mix of emotions. I am sad, I am relieved. I am a bit numb. X