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And so it begins.....

Discussion in 'End of life care' started by Kikki21, Mar 19, 2019.

  1. Susan11

    Susan11 Registered User

    Nov 18, 2018
    1,483
    Just a suggestion perhaps it doesn't have to be a real cat. Would a good quality soft toy help? A real cat might not stay still long enough to be cuddled.
     
  2. Kikki21

    Kikki21 Registered User

    Feb 27, 2016
    1,962
    Female
    East Midlands
    We hope that a therapy cat would do this though as that is what they are trained for. I’m not sure she can cuddle it but if it could cuddle her & be stroked then it would be amazing. The paper are running the story!
     
  3. Lady M

    Lady M Registered User

    Sep 15, 2018
    284
    Female
    Essex
    Recently viewing care home as ‘future possibles’ . One I visited had a ‘purring and stroking cat! When stroked it moved and purred!
    It was amazing and the residents appeared to like it a lot!
    Maybe a suggestion!
    (Not sure of costs) !
    Best of luck !
     
  4. Kikki21

    Kikki21 Registered User

    Feb 27, 2016
    1,962
    Female
    East Midlands
    I have seen those advertised but not sure how much they are. The paper have run the story & a nurse will bring her cat in but can’t do it till Wednesday so we are still looking if we can get an actual therapy cat before then.
     
  5. Moggymad

    Moggymad Registered User

    May 12, 2017
    362
    Female
    I have cat & kitten. They are Furreal Friends robotic cat toys. Have seen some from Argos on line around £50. There is (toy) one at mums carehome which no longer works which has found its way into her bedroom.
     
  6. Kikki21

    Kikki21 Registered User

    Feb 27, 2016
    1,962
    Female
    East Midlands
    I have had a lot of people volunteer to bring their cat in which is amazing but we really do need a therapy animal as I would bring my older girl in otherwise but she’s a bit too old to get freaked out by that environment. Otherwise I will get one from Argos but I guess she will know if it is real or not. You can’t fool her! X
     
  7. Kikki21

    Kikki21 Registered User

    Feb 27, 2016
    1,962
    Female
    East Midlands
    The story about my mum is gathering pace & so many people have offered to bring their cats in.
    We have also attracted the attention of BBC News now who wanted to film the moment ( I drew the line there) & said i’m happy to take tasteful photos with my mum’s hand on the cat but nothing else but I think it is important to highlight that dementia is not just an illness that affects the memory & about memory loss but it is about so much more & if me raising awareness just helps 1 person then it is worth it & perhaps all these millions of pounds were not wasted on Brexit but in providing specialist dementia care in the UK then we could ease the suffering of so many people. Xx
     
  8. lis66

    lis66 Registered User

    Aug 7, 2015
    253
    Totally agree it is so much more than memory loss ,you are often in my thoughts at this heartbreaking time xx
     
  9. Kikki21

    Kikki21 Registered User

    Feb 27, 2016
    1,962
    Female
    East Midlands
    My mum spent a couple of hours with Alfie the Burmese who was amazing. It was as if he knew that he just had to lie down next to my mum which he did & lie a bit across her & he kept looking at her a lot of the time.
    I swear he knew he was doing an important job.
    My mum, bless her was massively out of it BUT we did get her to nod her head a few times when we asked if she knew there was a cat there & she did say the word cat in Polish. She was really trying to stir but she just couldn’t.

    It was lovely for her to have that time & for it to have been arranged. I really do think that we are going to lose her imminently.
    Our favourite staff nurse Chloe was on duty today & she said she could see the decline in my mum since Friday when she was last on duty. She said she thinks she is in the final phase now but you never know & that people can surprise you.

    You pray that it is the case, you pray for a miracle but xx
     
  10. Rolypoly

    Rolypoly Registered User

    Jan 15, 2018
    2,319
    Bless Alfie, he seems to have brought comfort to you as well as your mum. It’s lovely that his visit went so well. Thinking of you.xx
     
  11. Kikki21

    Kikki21 Registered User

    Feb 27, 2016
    1,962
    Female
    East Midlands
    He did. He is just an ordinary puss & not a therapy cat but he could be. He was super. Yes he helped me, helped my mum & probably everyone else on the ward who saw him.
    Pets as Therapy sent in some dogs as well, who were amazing & you could feel how spirits were lifted on the ward.
    If we can leave that as my mum’s legacy then that will be amazing xx
     
  12. YorkshireLass

    YorkshireLass Registered User

    Feb 15, 2017
    198
    Female
    Ilkley
    That's lovely @Kikki2 So glad it gave comfort to both your mum and you too. Thinking of you xxxx
     
  13. Kikki21

    Kikki21 Registered User

    Feb 27, 2016
    1,962
    Female
    East Midlands
    Thank you. We are going to go home for the night now. We asked for extra meds for my mum as she is pretty gurgly & rattly at the moment. She seems settled & these noises don’t seem to wake her up.
    She looks better than she did earlier but she sounds worse. Her mouth is continually open.

    I know maybe some people should think I should stay but as she is still on the ward then nowhere to sleep. I have come to terms with the fact that things may happen while I am not here xx
     
  14. YorkshireLass

    YorkshireLass Registered User

    Feb 15, 2017
    198
    Female
    Ilkley
    Morning @Kikki21 hope you managed some sleep last night. Just do what you need to not what you believe others think you should be doing. Until folks have been in the situations we find ourselves in they have absolutely no idea of the impact it has. Nothing prepares you for this except the actual experience. Hoping today is a calm one xxxxx
     
  15. Kikki21

    Kikki21 Registered User

    Feb 27, 2016
    1,962
    Female
    East Midlands
    Morning, I am absolutely shattered to be honest & I have come to terms with 2 things. That my mum might pass while I am there & she might pass while I am not. Chloe the lovely staff nurse said that I would be amazed how many people seemed to pass when they were actually on their own.
    I hate to think that for my mum especially as we were both there for my dad when he passed but I am trying my best. I honestly thought I would get a phone call in the night last night with how she was. The staff nurse on duty last night was ok but quite brusque so I was like no mum hang on until Chloe is on duty during the day today.
    I will see if my mum has roused at all during the morning wash routine in a bit when I ring the ward xxxxx
     
  16. Kikki21

    Kikki21 Registered User

    Feb 27, 2016
    1,962
    Female
    East Midlands
    Rang the ward, she has had a wash but is fast asleep & looks comfy. I am honestly living in constant anxiety of my phone ringing & the hospital saying to come in or it is too late & at the same time I have accepted that it might happen when I am not there. I’m going to give the Palliative Care team a call to thank them
    for yesterday but the whole ward came together to be honest which was lovely. I’m just sorry we didn’t do it earlier when my mum was more with it. I just had the urgency to get it done yesterday & I am so happy my mum could acknowledge it.xx
     
  17. Grahamstown

    Grahamstown Registered User

    Jan 12, 2018
    1,336
    East of England
    My friend
    My friend gave me a Labrador cushion which looked just like a dog we had from this website
    https://adorablecushions.co.uk/
    My husband loves it and it is quite furry on one side and silky on the image side.
     
  18. Grahamstown

    Grahamstown Registered User

    Jan 12, 2018
    1,336
    East of England
    @Kikki21 you are quite right that dementia is not just memory which I don’t think is generally appreciated. It is function, physical, behaviour and psychological as well as memory loss, as the whole brain is affected and affects all those things. The UTAS Understanding Dementia course is invaluable for explaining these things and it has helped me deal with the symptoms of moderate and deteriorating dementia, which needs so much patience and understanding.
     
  19. hilaryd

    hilaryd Registered User

    May 28, 2017
    84
    So glad for you and your mum that you had such a good experience @Kikki21, and thinking of you and wishing you both peace. If only dementia really was just about memory loss!
     
  20. Kikki21

    Kikki21 Registered User

    Feb 27, 2016
    1,962
    Female
    East Midlands
    Thank you both. I am glad that dementia has been talked about in the press with the sad news that Barbara Windsor has Alzheimer’s but all the press seem to report is memory loss. They don’t go into the physical aspects of the disease such as loss of mobility, bowel incontinence, aggressive behaviour, loss of desire to eat & drink & so much more.
    I think a lot more information needs to come out as regards how we cope with this & how best to help the PWD.
     
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