And so it begins.....

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pipd

Registered User
Apr 12, 2015
78
Leigh on Sea Essex
When my mum was on End of Life in hospital she was moved to a side room, this was so much better for everyone concerned as we were allowed as many visitors we wanted and at any time day or night. My husband and myself slept over night in chairs for the final two nights before she passed away and I am so glad we were allowed to do do this as I'd have hated to not be there at the moment of her passing.
 

Kikki21

Registered User
Feb 27, 2016
2,244
East Midlands
When my mum was on End of Life in hospital she was moved to a side room, this was so much better for everyone concerned as we were allowed as many visitors we wanted and at any time day or night. My husband and myself slept over night in chairs for the final two nights before she passed away and I am so glad we were allowed to do do this as I'd have hated to not be there at the moment of her passing.
Thank you for sharing this. With them being short staffed on this shift, it is a worry that if I go back home there are a lack of staff to look after my mum & anybody else. She has had her syringe driver meds topped up & she is a bit more comfy but she will call out from time to time & looks distressed. She is on an anti anxiety drug in the driver but I wonder if it needs increasing?
As she is classed as end of life care then I can be here at any time night or day but there is nowhere for me to sleep if she is on the ward. I honestly do not think it benefits anyone to hear her cry out as she does. It’s sad, we treat our pets better & I am an animal lover with 2 cats ☹
 

Rolypoly

Registered User
Jan 15, 2018
2,319
When you ask about a side room add the fact that, not only would your mum be less distressed but everyone else on the ward would benefit by not being disturbed. Hope staffing levels pick up on the next shift.
 

Jessbow

Registered User
Mar 1, 2013
2,944
West Hertfordshire
I think a side room might be too quiet, and I think you'd worry that she wasn't attended to enough. In a bay she can be seen and attended to, in a side room its far more isolated.

She is possibly listening to what is going on around her too.

She doesnt sound to me ( from what oyu say) as though she is going anywhere just yet
 

Kikki21

Registered User
Feb 27, 2016
2,244
East Midlands
I think a side room might be too quiet, and I think you'd worry that she wasn't attended to enough. In a bay she can be seen and attended to, in a side room its far more isolated.

She is possibly listening to what is going on around her too.

She doesnt sound to me ( from what oyu say) as though she is going anywhere just yet
I do think that about a side room as well to be honest & that despite it being noisy on the ward & it was very noisy today that at least when I am not there, there are a couple of patients who are able bodied who might be able to help her if she needs help.
 

Kikki21

Registered User
Feb 27, 2016
2,244
East Midlands
Just taking a break & heading home for a bit. My mum was awake when I said we were going home for dinner & was ok with it. It was the most lucid I have seen her today actually. I’ll come back later & see which staff are on the night shift & hopefully there will be more of them too!
 

lis66

Registered User
Aug 7, 2015
278
I am also an animal lover and have four cats not by choice lol daughter landed me with two kittens who will be two years in April brother and sister ,my rescue cat Luna and my old pensioner Bella,who is about eighty or older in cat life I find them very therapeutic xx
 

Kikki21

Registered User
Feb 27, 2016
2,244
East Midlands
I am also an animal lover and have four cats not by choice lol daughter landed me with two kittens who will be two years in April brother and sister ,my rescue cat Luna and my old pensioner Bella,who is about eighty or older in cat life I find them very therapeutic xx
Yes I have my 2 cats, both rescues & they know something is amiss at the moment. I’m getting a lot of fuss out of them at the mo xx
 

Kikki21

Registered User
Feb 27, 2016
2,244
East Midlands
I have to say that I am really struggling with this all mentally. It feels like my entire existence has been taken over by going to the hospital & that I daren’t do anything else for fear that the worst will happen.

I know what has been said on another thread by another poster & I can identify with it. I can’t abide hospitals & yet here I am going into one twice a day & trying to comfort my mother when she has a coughing episode or is agitated.
 

Karen22

Registered User
Nov 3, 2012
85
I have to say that I am really struggling with this all mentally. It feels like my entire existence has been taken over by going to the hospital & that I daren’t do anything else for fear that the worst will happen.

I know what has been said on another thread by another poster & I can identify with it. I can’t abide hospitals & yet here I am going into one twice a day & trying to comfort my mother when she has a coughing episode or is agitated.
Thinking of you at this difficult time. X
 

Kikki21

Registered User
Feb 27, 2016
2,244
East Midlands
Thinking of you at this difficult time. X
Thank you. I knew that end of life meds do not aid actual end of life but are designed to comfort the person during this time but now I can really see why people choose to go to places in Switzerland etc rather than this experience.
I know everyone is different but this is awful for all concerned. My poor mum does not deserve this x
 

Kikki21

Registered User
Feb 27, 2016
2,244
East Midlands
Here again at the hospital for the evening stint. Mum is relatively settled, she can have top ups of the anti anxiety meds so I have asked them to monitor her with this. Not sure she is aware that I am here although I told her I was back.
I don’t like to disturb her when she is sleeping.
 

Kikki21

Registered User
Feb 27, 2016
2,244
East Midlands
I am back at the hospital. My mum seems settled & is sleeping so I haven’t woken her up. She has been drowsy but the male staff nurse said that he was able to give her a wash & clean her mouth this morning but she’s not eaten.
They tried porridge this morning but she was pushing them away.

We have a yoghurt for maybe later but not sure if she will be awake later or that she will want anything to eat anyway.
Her pallour looks more pale today I think & i’m not sure her breathing pattern is as consistent.

I said a few things to her in Polish that I think needed to be said for both our sakes & that I feel I have made my peace with her & that hopefully somewhere wherever my mum’s spirit is right now in this twilight world of hers that she has acknowledged the words & that she is ok with them too.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
11,275
South coast
Hearing is the last thing to go Kikki, so Im sure that she would have heard you.

When mum was in her final days she was on the syringe driver, not eating and seemed unconscious. I sang a song to her that I knew from childhood and thought she was unaware, but at the end she open one eye and said to me "you missed a note". And she was right - I had!
 

Kikki21

Registered User
Feb 27, 2016
2,244
East Midlands
Hearing is the last thing to go Kikki, so Im sure that she would have heard you.

When mum was in her final days she was on the syringe driver, not eating and seemed unconscious. I sang a song to her that I knew from childhood and thought she was unaware, but at the end she open one eye and said to me "you missed a note". And she was right - I had!
I didn’t have any acknowledgement that my mum heard anything @canary but I like to think that she has heard somewhere on a more spiritual plane. She has only stirred slightly when one of the nurses talked near her so she is still not fully unconscious. She will stir, cough, not make a nice sound & then sleep again.
What a lovely story about your song though. There is one song I could sing to my mum
Which she sang to me as a baby but I think it would make me cry.
 

Kikki21

Registered User
Feb 27, 2016
2,244
East Midlands
Just home for a break to put some charge in my phone & then to go & get something to eat that is on the way to/close to the hospital.
We were going to leave about 2 hrs ago but then the nurse in charge went on a break & I didn’t want to leave without telling anyone we had gone so we waited.

During that time, my mum woke up more & asked for a priest straight out which really worried me, I got the nurses to ring the chaplain service & they managed to get a catholic priest out who was the main priest from the Cathedral. Not polish but my mum said she didn’t mind. He gave her a blessing ( probably last rites) but not sure as never heard them & my mum settled. She thanked me. She then woke up more & was trying to say something, she said her Polish man friend’s name & then said something about cats. I had shown her photos of our cats earlier on the day & asked if she would like to stroke a cat & she said yes.

So I have been trying to organise this. I could take my oldest cat who is 16 to the hospital. She’s got a great temperament but I would rather a therapy animal could do this as they should be used to it & the environment. I have tweeted 2 organisations but so far not had any joy.

If anyone knows how to do this then please let me know!!!
 

Kikki21

Registered User
Feb 27, 2016
2,244
East Midlands
I’m absolutely shattered after a 6 hr stint & never even got the chance to go to the toilet until after we left the ward.
I managed to get my mum to have a few mouthfuls of strawberry mousse & the thickened water as well. It’s not a lot but it is something.
We have had the priest out previously but I didn’t know if she had been blessed but I do know now that she has been so apparently from the church point of view then she’s ok.

I keep expecting a phone call at any time from the hospital. I just can’t relax ☹
 

Kikki21

Registered User
Feb 27, 2016
2,244
East Midlands
Thinking of you @Kikki21 This is all so challenging for you but you are doing so well even though you might not think so at the moment. You are doing everything possible xxx
I’m mentally done in & at the moment, it is so difficult to concentrate on anything else. My fiancé’s phone isn’t charging so he has had to find another phone, then a charger so he is flapping & i’m like just sort it out!
EE are meant to be open till 8pm tonight & each time he has rung, they are not answering.
I have now got my local paper on the case with a therapy pet so my mum can stroke a cat. Hopefully a reporter will ring me shortly, I have told them that time might be of the essence. Xxx
 
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