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I don’t know if this will help you to know, but in my late husband’s last hours, the nurses told me that he might appear to be struggling, but it is the body struggling...and the person is not always aware. I found it a comfort. I truly hope that your lovely mum is having a peaceful night and that you manage to get some rest. You continue to be in our thoughts.
I send you so much sympathy in your vigil. You are doing a beautiful thing in staying at your mother's side to say goodbye to her - dont worry that you think you might do it better - you are doing the finest thing a daughter can do for her mother, and she knows that you are there. Look after yourself too, this is the hardest time but it will be over soon and then you can remember your mother as she was for most of her life. I will think of you and her today
Continuing to send hugs and good wishes to you. Im not surprised you feel exhausted both mentally and physically, you must be drained. Feeling for you, take care.
I have been keeping the care home informed & just spoke to them now. They reiterated that they are more than happy to have my mum back as they do end of life care at the home.
The hospital did inform them that my mum was on end of life care but as she is/was very poorly they didn’t want to move her. And I didn’t want to move her either but to be honest, the hospital is a busy & noisy environment & it is not exactly peaceful. She is not getting one to one care as such. Yes she gets attended to every couple of hours to change bed position & has her meds looked at when we are not there.
I just don’t know if my mum could be moved & whether it would be safe to move her. For all I know, it might bring about her demise far quicker but maybe we do need to review this xx
We had the same dilemma. They moved mom to a side room, so much better for her and us x
Before mum went into the NH she was in hospital, both on a ward and in a side room. She found the ward very distressing with all the activity and noise. She wasn’t much happier in a side room but at least it was more peaceful for her. The nurses, though lovely, had their own ideas about dementia. I think it might make it clearer if you can find out whether she could be moved in the first place then take it from there. Knowing what to do for the best is hard at the best of times let alone in your situation. Not much help I know, sorry.
Maybe think about atmosphere of where your mum is/might be. Weigh up the pros and cons, question and listen to the professionals then go with your gut. If it feels right for your mum then it is. Once you have made that decision try not to question it, there will always be what ifs.
I know I was happier when my dad was in a side room in hospital but I honestly don’t think it made any difference to dad. Different I know because he wasn’t declared end of life, although I did wonder once or twice if he would come out alive.
If you’ll be happier with your mum being in a side room I think it’s worth asking if she can be moved even if your mum doesn’t care where she is.
It’s a shame she’s too poorly to go back to her home.