And now having to deal with my grandmother ! mild dementia and broken leg

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by manArgentina, Nov 16, 2019.

  1. manArgentina

    manArgentina Registered User

    Aug 10, 2019
    42
    Male
    Mendoza, Argentina
    My grandmother now is having some sort of memory and logic issues.

    Also she broke a leg more than 6 months ago (I believe, ive been just going to visit her since recently).

    She was saying things like "I want to go to my house, its fine here, but now i want to go to my house", she being in her house since months, because she cant get out of the bed.

    The problem was that she was very alone, spending most of the days alone, no one to call, no one to visit, and my father and uncles just visit her on weekends and they are very..... cold, very anxious to go there and then just leave.

    I think she "lost her mind" due to lonelines. Be alone with nothing to do in a small appartment drives insane to anyone (and im not talking figurative).

    She cant walk, and sometimes being in bed say things like "ok, now lets go to the living to eat the lunch, i dont want to eat here in bed", and to move her its very difficult, she farely fat, and I have to grave her doing big strength to lift her, and she suffers a bit, lately is more "scary feeling" than pain.

    And she says "no, you dont have to do nothing, i just go walking to the chair, with little steps", every time the same, you tell her "you cant walk, you broke a leg", this been happening lot of times.

    When she is in will chair we are using a lift machine (by pressure) to sit her on the bed, but she doesnt like, because the da*n ladies who are taking care of her lift her sooo much high she gets really scared.

    And today, as always, I say to her "ok, im going to go in half hour, first i have to put you in bed" and she says "no no no, its ok, she -one of the ladies taking care of her, a 60 old woman- help me, later i just stand up and sit on the bed", she gets mad when saw me taking the lift machint to her bedroom and start "no no no, what are you doing with that, leave it there !!! leave it there !!!", then she gets mad, and mad, and i had to get a bit mad and hit the door two times to maker stop.

    I think if I try to talk her more calm about this one day she is going to understand. Its hard to tell what she have. No professional have seen her. She is all the time stressed and anxious (she have been this way since years and years ago), she calls to someone house and if no one pick up "oh, maybe something bad happen", or "i had to go to the Dr because i was feeling a pain there" and she is like "oh, the desgrace, why , why, everything is crumbling".

    Anyway, she have been a bit dessapointed because a Dr told her "your leg is fine now, you can walk now, but without socks", her bone is ok, she have to do rehah exercises without socks, but she have been all days sayin "but the Dr told me i can walk now, without socks", Ive been going to her house make exercisswith her, but because she cant see any evolution (which is true, its not so easy as Dr said) she is now very dessapointed and frustrated.

    She have a permament lady carer on her house, they are having fights all the time, I thought was because of my grandmother, but the woman (early 40s) can be very desrespectful. So its all a mess.

    Anyway its not soooooooooooo bad, but its...... tricky and difficult.
     
  2. LynneMcV

    LynneMcV Volunteer Moderator

    May 9, 2012
    3,643
    south-east London
    I am so sorry to hear this @manArgentina - first the worry of your mum and now your grandmother.

    I know you don't want to rock the boat, but if things are so tense with the permanent carer, is there a way that the family can get involved to find a carer who is more sympathetic and understanding of your grandmother's needs?

    With all the anxiety issues that your grandmother currently displays, it will not help her situation to be under the permanent care of someone who treats her with disrespect.

    It also sounds like your grandmother is very lonely, confined to her flat. Do you have organisations there that can provide a 'befriender' to visit, even if just once a week. It may help give your grandmother structure and purpose to her week if someone can visit and chat on a regular basis, without being in a rush.

    I don't know what has led to your grandmother 's anxiety and memory issues, only a doctor will be able to diagnose that, but I do agree that loneliness and depression can sometimes lead to this kind of presentation. I know that before my husband was diagnosed with dementia, he went through psychological tests to rule out things like depression first.

    I do hope that you and your wider family are able to work together to find the best way forward.
     

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