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An update from last week battle still raging!!


Registered User
Aug 17, 2015
East Midlands
Hi everyone just to update you. Had the meeting with the SW on Thursday, she was very nice and it seemed to go well. After being at my house for 2 and half hours, she said she wanted to move things on quickly and go to panel so could she please meet me at my OH's care home the next day. Of course I agreed. OH had another fall that morning and had cut the top of his head and this was of course visible for her to see, he also told her if he came back home he would kill himself, think SW was rather shocked and tongue tied when he said this!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now perhaps she understands how much he is at risk.

They are going to panel this week/next week and will let me know the outcome. Told SW that if the answer was 'no' she hadn't heard the last from me, she did smile and said I know!!!! I also told her if the answer was 'No' I would be going back to the top and although the SW didn't actually say so, I think I well and truly put the cat among the pigeons, when I phoned the Chief Exec's PA the first time.

My OH has had another fall the day after the SW visit and had to be picked up by hoist and they are suggesting he could be better cared for at home, they live in cloud cuckoo land!!!!!

Even if I do get a positive outcome my fight doesn't end. I promise you all I will do everything I can to help others and in particular those who have no-one to speak for them. Until, I was affected by Parkinsons/Alzheinmers I did not realise our Social Services were on a parallel with the Third World!!! I will fight for justice until I take my last breath to get fair treatment for everyone affected by serious illnesses. I don't care what I have to do to achieve this as I have already lost my OH and our future together, nobody can make things any worse than they already are. I am a firm believer in 'Power to the People' so bring it on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Best wishes to you all.


Registered User
Sep 27, 2006
I support with all my heart all you are trying to achieve I'm a fighter myself (as you may see from my many posts of a few years ago) but be warned it does come at a personal cost.

Look after yourself and make sure you have some 'time off' for yourself to just relax and get away from the stresses this brings on.



Registered User
Nov 10, 2015
When they say they feel he can be supported at home how are they proposing to prevent him from having falls? It is reliant on you being there to provide support 24 hours a day? Is it reliant on him being bed/chair bound?
Can he walk with a frame?

The question ultimately is what can he gain in safety and independence that he cannot achieve in his own home, and at what cost if it can be achieved i.e. can it only be achieved because you are there to provide constant support.

It would be different if he wanted to stay at home and could understand the risks around falls and the limitations of what support can be provided, but if he is scared and you are struggling to support him and he keeps falling then I don't understand the decision they are making if they say it isn't appropriate to place him in long term residential care. They must be rejecting it for a specific reason which you have every right to know so you can challenge it!

Sometimes residential care cannot resolve the difficulties that are being faced at home but then in your circumstances, given your high level of stress, I would argue that your health is being significant impacted upon and your own independence as a result of being scared to leave him unsupported, therefore it would be better for all involved if your stresses were relieved and placed on the shoulders of care home staff so you can enjoy your relationship as husband and wife.

But that's just me!

The social worker is only able to argue your case though, they aren't the decision maker when it comes to the funding of residential care. As a social worker myself I always clearly explain that, though occasionally people do want to also jump to residential care without considering all the options that we as social workers have to justify aren't appropriate, and sometimes those options are worth a try. I don't know your specific circumstances to comment on that but if you aren't clear if this is the reason your funding is being denied then it is worth having that discussion. Each local authority will have their own policies and procedures on funding for residential care.

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Registered User
Nov 10, 2015
I'm a social worker and my dad has early onset dementia by the way so sadly living with both sides of the coin to consider and there are never any easy answers. Everyone is different and I always say different solutions will suit different people!

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