An Incontinence question please

[Linbrusco]

On the advice of another member, I have been putting Tena Pads in Mum underwear, so each morning they are ready, without Mum having to remember to do it.
It's more leakage before she gets to the loo in time , rather than full on incontinence.

the problem is that I am not there when Mum gets dressed in the morning, and I also work part time.

Some days she remembers the need for the pads, some days she forgets, some days she removes them all from her underwear ( as evident by a whole pile of discarded ones in her drawer)
Some days she has 3 or 4 prs of undies either hanging out to dry, in the hot water cupboard, or hidden!! ( still looking for a missing pair )

Now I have Dad complaining about it, saying that she is wetting the bed and I have to take her to the doctor. Dad has no patience for it, and Mum says she doesn't want Dad knowing her business ( let alone seeing her undies out to dry )
There is a water proof protector on the bed, and I found no evidence of urine.

I can arrange for a continence nurse to see her, but at the end of the day, if Mum cannot manage it, and I am not there 24/7, and dad cannot tolerate it
What do you do??!!

Am mindful of a UTI, but don't feel thats the issue.

 

[Reflection]

Would single beds help? Then your dad would'nt feel that he might get wet.

 

[Linbrusco]

Would single beds help? Then your dad would'nt feel that he might get wet.

Actually seperate bedrooms would help, but my brother stays there now and again in the spare room.
Their room is too small for two seperate beds plus furniture.

 

[Lilac Blossom]

Actually seperate bedrooms would help, but my brother stays there now and again in the spare room.
Their room is too small for two seperate beds plus furniture.

Why not go for the separate bedroom option then when your brother comes to stay "now and again" he could use a "Z" bed (folding bed) in the living room overnight.

 

[fizzie]

On the advice of another member, I have been putting Tena Pads in Mum underwear, so each morning they are ready, without Mum having to remember to do it.
It's more leakage before she gets to the loo in time , rather than full on incontinence.

the problem is that I am not there when Mum gets dressed in the morning, and I also work part time.


Hi similar happened to us, in the end I had a carer go in in the morning to sort it out - Mum was much happier and it was worth the cost for peace of mind (and gave her someone else to talk to about personal things if she wanted to) it worked well

 

[little shettie]

Why not replace mums undies with the pull up pants and pad in one? I had similar issue with my mum, she would not keep a pad in her knickers and I would find them tucked into places you would not dream!! I found getting rid of her undies and using the disposable pants have worked a treat, rarely an accident and she keeps the knickers on. They are not cheap but we got referred to the continence service via our GP and mum gets a 3 monthly supply free of charge which is more than enough for her needs at present.

 

[exhausted 2015]

Why not replace mums undies with the pull up pants and pad in one? I had similar issue with my mum, she would not keep a pad in her knickers and I would find them tucked into places you would not dream!! I found getting rid of her undies and using the disposable pants have worked a treat, rarely an accident and she keeps the knickers on. They are not cheap but we got referred to the continence service via our GP and mum gets a 3 monthly supply free of charge which is more than enough for her needs at present.

Hi I had the same issue with dad he would not keep the pads in his underpants so I ordered the pull on pants from the incontinence clinic and am stacked out with boxes of them now lol

 

[Linbrusco]

thanks. i can see that will probably be the way forward, either the pants or a carer to come in.
Mum has always been such a private person when it comes to matters like this, I am surprised she let me talk to her about it. Not sure how a carer would go down.
Several weeks back when I had the Needs Assesor out, of course they asked Mum in front of Dad if she had any incontinence issues and she denied all knowledge

 

[little shettie]

It annoys me so much when you get a health professional asking personal questions in front of others! Why don't they use some common sense in these matters. Its been a regular occurrence on my journey with mum and I've been frequently frustrated by it. I hope you get something sorted soon x