On the advice of another member, I have been putting Tena Pads in Mum underwear, so each morning they are ready, without Mum having to remember to do it. It's more leakage before she gets to the loo in time , rather than full on incontinence. the problem is that I am not there when Mum gets dressed in the morning, and I also work part time. Some days she remembers the need for the pads, some days she forgets, some days she removes them all from her underwear ( as evident by a whole pile of discarded ones in her drawer) Some days she has 3 or 4 prs of undies either hanging out to dry, in the hot water cupboard, or hidden!! ( still looking for a missing pair ) Now I have Dad complaining about it, saying that she is wetting the bed and I have to take her to the doctor. Dad has no patience for it, and Mum says she doesn't want Dad knowing her business ( let alone seeing her undies out to dry ) There is a water proof protector on the bed, and I found no evidence of urine. I can arrange for a continence nurse to see her, but at the end of the day, if Mum cannot manage it, and I am not there 24/7, and dad cannot tolerate it What do you do??!! Am mindful of a UTI, but don't feel thats the issue.