1. Expert Q&A: Protecting a person with dementia from financial abuse - Weds 26 June, 3:30-4:30 pm

    Financial abuse can have serious consequences for a person with dementia. Find out how to protect a person with dementia from financial abuse.

    Sam, our Knowledge Officer (Legal and Welfare Rights) is our expert on this topic. She will be here to answer your questions on Wednesday 26 June between 3:30 - 4:30 pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

  1. Redpoppy

    Redpoppy Registered User

    Jul 31, 2012
    268
    Glamorgan s.wales
    I am my husband's carer and fortunately am usually in good health. However I now have a rotten cold and am trying to make things easier for myself. I am using meals in the freezer that I cooked previously and conveniently had my groceries delivered today. I decided to have a rest on my bed,but my husband has been in and out like a yo-yo, asking umpteen times if I want a cup of tea,or just to tell me what he can see out of the window,or what he's watching on TV.!! All I wanted was to be left in peace for an hour or so. I decided to accept the cup of tea--it was easier! I know I will be better in a day or so,but I worry now about how we would manage if I was really ill. Let's hope that doesn't happen for both our sakes. It's so important we don't neglect our own health --I'll be first in the queue for my flu jab next week.Good health to you all.
     
  2. nitram

    nitram Registered User

    Apr 6, 2011
    18,303
    Male
    North Manchester
    "I worry now about how we would manage if I was really ill."

    Your carer's assessment should have covered this e.g.

    Daughter/son can take a day or two of work but then it's up to you.

    or

    Nobody to help, you will have to set something up pronto.
     
  3. lin1

    lin1 Registered User

    Jan 14, 2010
    9,322
    Female
    East Kent
    #3 lin1, Oct 15, 2015
    Last edited: Oct 15, 2015
    Redpoppy.
    I hope you're better soon. Make sure your fully better before you have your flu jab.
     
  4. marionq

    marionq Registered User

    Apr 24, 2013
    5,561
    Female
    Scotland
    This is so fundamental to caring. I had an emergency care plan done and when I look at it there is no substance to it other than the key safe number. My husband is a wanderer so if I were ill he would be off and probably become another tragic statistic. What we need is a firm commitment to collect them and a named care home if possible where they would stay for as long as necessary. Meanwhile we need to stay well. Good luck.
     
  5. Redpoppy

    Redpoppy Registered User

    Jul 31, 2012
    268
    Glamorgan s.wales
    Thanks for your comments. I have 3daughters living close by so he would definitely be cared for, but on the odd occasion he goes out with one of them he continuously asks where I am and wants to come home! I think he gets too much of my attention so maybe now is the time to cut the ".apron strings"
     
  6. Redpoppy

    Redpoppy Registered User

    Jul 31, 2012
    268
    Glamorgan s.wales
    I forgot to say I'm not aware that I have had a care assessment since my husband had a stroke almost 4yrs ago. A Social worker came soon after he was discharged to.give advice and inform us about AA and reduction of Council Tax. I will enquire about emergency plans.
     
  7. sleepless

    sleepless Registered User

    Feb 19, 2010
    3,232
    Female
    The Sweet North
    The way ours is set up, I carry a laminated card in my purse stating that I am a carer, and there is a telephone number to ring, plus a reference number.
    This should set in motion my emergency plan -- telephone numbers of friends are accessed by the emergency HQ (as they live closer than family) and someone would come and look after my husband short-term, then he would be placed in temporary care if I was still incapacitated. Obviously the friends would contact family, then a longer term plan could be decided upon.
    All this was done for us through our local Carers Association. It includes having a keysafe, to which friends have the pin number, but I am currently waiting for that to be fitted.
    I have to remember to always take my bag with me everywhere, with my purse containing the card.
     
  8. marionq

    marionq Registered User

    Apr 24, 2013
    5,561
    Female
    Scotland
    Sleepless that looks like mine. I have the card in my wallet and another one on the TV table in our sitting room. So all much the same but no mention of where he would go. I try not to think about it.
     
  9. sleepless

    sleepless Registered User

    Feb 19, 2010
    3,232
    Female
    The Sweet North
    Marionq, when ours was first set up, it would have been possible for my husband to have stayed with friends for two or three nights -- they would have been able to reassure him of where he was, and why. Now however, due to continence issues, I feel it would be too much to ask for them to care for him overnight, so I have asked if they would liaise very closely with family, or if necessary, social services to find the best possible solution if I were to be incapacitated.
    I only have one card -- after reading your post, I think I'll make a copy to keep in the house.
    Having said that, we do have the emergency green cross bottles in the fridge, with a sticker on the inside of the front door to alert emergency services to the fact. Must update the info in the bottles now I come to think.
    But another card in the house would be good.
     
  10. Trisha4

    Trisha4 Registered User

    Jan 16, 2014
    2,442
    Yorkshire
    Hi Redpoppy. I know exactly what you mean. I had a similar experience a few weeks ago. Unfortunately my husband couldn't make a cup of tea or work the television remote control so I was up and down when all I wanted was just to be left in peace to sleep.
    I think we need a new assessment from social services but it is a worry.
    Thoughts and hugs with you x


    Sent from my iPad using Talking Point
     
  11. marionq

    marionq Registered User

    Apr 24, 2013
    5,561
    Female
    Scotland
    I don't know about these bottles. What are they?
     
  12. sleepless

    sleepless Registered User

    Feb 19, 2010
    3,232
    Female
    The Sweet North
    I'm not sure how widespread the scheme is, but here it is run by the British Lions, and is known as the Message in a Bottle scheme.
    A small plastic container is placed in your refrigerator, containing a form detailing your medication, any illnesses etc and whether you are a carer and so on.
    You place a sticker on the inside of your front door so that any emergency services can see it, and they will look in the fridge for the 'bottle'. Fridges are used simply because everyone has one!
    They are available free in surgeries here, I think I got ours (we have one each) via Neighbourhood Watch.
    I'm hopeless at links, but if you Google 'Lions Message in a Bottle' you'll perhaps be able to find out if it's available in Scotland.
    Or nitram may get there before you and post a link in his lightning fashion!
     
  13. lin1

    lin1 Registered User

    Jan 14, 2010
    9,322
    Female
    East Kent
  14. Selinacroft

    Selinacroft Registered User

    Oct 10, 2015
    937
  15. sleepless

    sleepless Registered User

    Feb 19, 2010
    3,232
    Female
    The Sweet North
  16. lin1

    lin1 Registered User

    Jan 14, 2010
    9,322
    Female
    East Kent
    :) :) :)
     

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