An enviable problem .....

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by Tender Face, Jan 19, 2008.

  1. Tender Face

    Tender Face Account Closed

    Mar 14, 2006
    NW England
    Respite - not sure what to do now..

    Sorry, this is a ‘nice’ problem, I know.

    I posted just recently that these seemed to be ‘halcyon days’ for mum ..... with a package of day care I know would be the envy of many ..... she herself having a really ‘good spell’ .... (the Aricept or the additional stimulation/ combination of both?)...... with my son’s issues around bullying at school seemingly resolved and best news of all my hubby’s cancer apparently kicked firmly into remission ......Yippee!!!!) ..... I don’t know what to do!!!!!

    I feel like I have run on adrenaline for so many years, caring first for dad, then mum, hubby, son of course ...... and just now there is a ‘window’ which says ....’Yes, you might be able to plan a holiday with confidence’ ..... ‘You can book that night out with the girls’ ...... ‘You might have the attention span to finish reading that book you picked up ten years ago ....... ‘ ... or just 'go to work' and do 'normal' things ..... what's 'normal' anymore??????

    How do others cope when caring responsibilities are lifted even temporarily? I’ve forgotten how to relax ... or even what I would want to do for myself that I have been moaning I never had time to do ..... :confused: .... all the while, there’s a little monster on my shoulder saying ‘make the most of this time’ ...... you never know what’s round the corner ...... so how do I? Strange times .......

    Answers on a postcard, or details of psychoanalysts by PM please!
    Karen, x
  2. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    SW Scotland
    Karen, the answer is, what do you want to do? And if that is nothing, then do nothing. It won't be long before that brain of yours starts whirring, and you think of all the things you've been missing.

    I'm sorry, I've just posted to your poem, and I completely misread it. Pity I didn't read this first.

    You've had a tough time, and you've coped brilliantly. And you also know that there will be tough times ahead.

    These are your halcyon days. You're still needed, but not quite so much at the moment. Time for Karen!

    Relax and enjoy!:)

  3. jenniferpa

    jenniferpa Volunteer Moderator

    Jun 27, 2006
    Dear Karen - I really don't know the answer, but if you find out, tell me please! Excellent news about your husband as well as your mother. My husband is still having chemo : not officially in remission but doctor said that if you didn't know, his blood values look like someone who doesn't have leukemia, so that's all to the good.

    I suppose all I can say is: do what YOU want to do for a change, once you work out what that is :D

  4. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006

    I know that feeling , what I do I book a holiday for sometime in the future , week later think " Oh **** what, have I done " but what I am finding in doing it is :

    1 that it give me something to look forward to ,

    2 Something I can not back out of , when the low mood hits me, because I have paid for it .

    3 Pushes me in to organizing respite for mum

    My son says I have to much time on my hand now , don't know what to do with it! ( as mum go to day center, my brother getting more support ) so after 5 years of it all have more time on my hands .

    Then think

    Do I go back to work part time , do I renew my membership for the gym , do I just recharge my batteries , go shopping tidy, up listen to music at home .

    No I just book a holiday , better get down the gym/ swim with my son like he wants me to so be all fit healthy
    for summer :D

    Good luck Karen , with finding something to do :)
  5. Taffy

    Taffy Registered User

    Apr 15, 2007
    Dear Karen,

    I have been there before and it is hard at first to readjust, unwind and try and pick up where you left off.

    I found it's best not to panic....don't rush things relax and go with the flow.... stop and smell the roses.

    Let tomorrow take care of it's self....take advantage of your respite as, who knows how long it will last.

    Take Care, Taffy.
  6. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    Dear Karen.

    Two posts, each with a relative emotion.

    I`ve been trying since you posted to think of a constructive reply, and all I can think of is for you to take it easy for a while.

    Allow yourself to relax, enjoy the freedom of some time for yourself, and gradually things will present themselves to you.

    So much of our lives are on hold whilst the demands of others have to take priority, we forget the luxury of ease.

    Life is not a race, there will be time for everything and everything has it`s time.

    Love xx

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