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An awkward/disgusting question (about a toilet issue)

spandit

Registered User
Feb 11, 2020
115
Look, I'm sorry to have to raise this as it's one of the worst aspects of caring for someone...

Please don't read on if you are about to eat.



My father has limited mobility/dexterity due to the associated Parkinsonism so his wiping is not very effective. He's now wearing Tena pants permanently and he gets a decent wash at least 3 times a week so is not hugely smelly. However, and there's no easy way to put this delicately, the hair in his bottom crack gets clogged with lumps of dried poo. Should I try and get some clippers in there? o_O It's uncomfortable for him trying to extract them with a hot flannel and it's not a pleasant job for me either (or anyone else). Should I have a ring round some of the establishments in Brighton to see about waxing? 😬

Sorry again...
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
71,764
Kent
It`s not disgusting, it`s sad your father should be in this position.

When I was receiving personal care after surgery I spoke to the nurse with admiration for doing these tasks for so many strangers. She said it was her way of helping us be comfortable.

If you provide your father with baby wipes so he could wash himself after each bowel movement. If you can, I would try to get him clean to start with or ask those who wash him [carers?] three times a week to clean him properly.

A good barrier cream like Sudocrem, applied after washing would give him a little more protection if applied daily.
 

Mydarlingdaughter

Registered User
Oct 25, 2019
134
North East England UK
Not environmentally friendly but why not try the moist wipes. Dont flush them afterwards, wrap them in a bag and bin them. Pop them in the microwave for a few seconds to warm them and they will work really well. I think waxing would be difficult for him and wouldnt last long. If you are really into the environment you can use flannels soaked in a mild soapy water solution but then you would need to wash them.
 

RosettaT

Registered User
Sep 9, 2018
508
Mid Lincs
I would try Pro Shield spray it's brilliant at removing poo whether dried or very sticky before trying anything else. It is expensive but you can get it on prescription if the surgery agrees.
 

TNJJ

Registered User
May 7, 2019
1,727
cornwall
Look, I'm sorry to have to raise this as it's one of the worst aspects of caring for someone...

Please don't read on if you are about to eat.



My father has limited mobility/dexterity due to the associated Parkinsonism so his wiping is not very effective. He's now wearing Tena pants permanently and he gets a decent wash at least 3 times a week so is not hugely smelly. However, and there's no easy way to put this delicately, the hair in his bottom crack gets clogged with lumps of dried poo. Should I try and get some clippers in there? o_O It's uncomfortable for him trying to extract them with a hot flannel and it's not a pleasant job for me either (or anyone else). Should I have a ring round some of the establishments in Brighton to see about waxing? 😬

Sorry again...
I bought conti wipes which are dry and can be made wet with either soap or zerobase which is an emollient cream. I use this to wash and then pop it into a yellow bag for incinerator. I use these for dad.
 

spandit

Registered User
Feb 11, 2020
115
Thanks, all. I'm not going to provide him with wet wipes for himself as they'll just go down the toilet and block it. He wouldn't have the dexterity to take them out of the packet himself, anyway. It's not easy to be there every time he has to go to the toilet.

The waxing comment was tongue in cheek, by the way...
 

Spamar

Registered User
Oct 5, 2013
7,475
Suffolk
If you are feeling rich you can change the loo to one which will wash and dry the area. But I’m guessing he wouldn’t be able to cope on this own with that, you would have to be standing guard!
 

GillPJ

Registered User
Jun 2, 2020
63
If you are feeling rich you can change the loo to one which will wash and dry the area. But I’m guessing he wouldn’t be able to cope on this own with that, you would have to be standing guard!
We got one of those for mum, but it was only useful for a short while before she couldn't work the controls and then couldn't get to the loo at all. Some way of soaking is probably the way to go, a bit like I do the dishes :) rinse and then come back after a few minutes to the softened "deposits". It's a dilemma, luckily I'm here with mum all the time and she can't cope on her own anyway. My problem is when her incontinence catches me unprepared - it's quite difficult removing all traces of poo from her ulcer dressing.
Returning to the problem in question, how about putting a damp cloth inside the pants for 5 minutes or so, just to soften things? Or a shower?
 

Mydarlingdaughter

Registered User
Oct 25, 2019
134
North East England UK
There is a system that some people use, called a bidet hose or bidet sprayer. It needs to be plumbed in. It is not a bidet, its plumbed in and just a hose that you spray on. A DIY method is also to have a spray bottle of water that you splash on or spray on. I know some people that use these latter but I think it takes practice and he may not have the dexterity for it.
 

spandit

Registered User
Feb 11, 2020
115
He had a good chat with his carer this morning after she'd cleared up a flood of Biblical proportions. There is a plastic jug on the windowsill next to the toilet - it's from his old home (and was used for emptying his catheter bag). His assertion is that he is trying to get to the jug but not making it in time. Another thing I will have to hide.

He did mention having a jug or bucket next to the bed (the en-suite is about 3 feet from his bed) - doesn't bear thinking about what the consequences of that would be, with his lack of dexterity - at least the bathroom floor is wipe clean, the bedroom carpet isn't.
 

Grable

Registered User
May 19, 2015
175
I would discuss this with the practice nurse at your dad's surgery. Getting professional help is often the way to go!
 

Hazara8

Registered User
Apr 6, 2015
507
Look, I'm sorry to have to raise this as it's one of the worst aspects of caring for someone...

Please don't read on if you are about to eat.



My father has limited mobility/dexterity due to the associated Parkinsonism so his wiping is not very effective. He's now wearing Tena pants permanently and he gets a decent wash at least 3 times a week so is not hugely smelly. However, and there's no easy way to put this delicately, the hair in his bottom crack gets clogged with lumps of dried poo. Should I try and get some clippers in there? o_O It's uncomfortable for him trying to extract them with a hot flannel and it's not a pleasant job for me either (or anyone else). Should I have a ring round some of the establishments in Brighton to see about waxing? 😬

Sorry again...
As has been suggested here , seeking advice from your surgery's Practice Nurse would be prudent.

You need never feel uncomfortable about raising this type of issue on here. It is alas reality and needs both compassion and practicable care. Incontinence ranges across a broad spectrum and at the extreme level can be immensely challenging. One then thinks very carefully about the one living with this condition and thus any notion of embarrassment or indeed distaste melts away. You will know all of this of course and your generosity of spirit is patently obvious simply by way of your consideration to the reader. Best of luck resolving what is often a long haul in realising an appropriate result.
 

Mydarlingdaughter

Registered User
Oct 25, 2019
134
North East England UK
The incontinence is ranked as one of the most difficult aspects or dementia for carers to deal with, wee being less difficult and poo most difficult. I hooe that you can discuss your support needs with the GP, practice nurse, dementia nurse, or social worker. Because they will be able to offer more support. They have heard it all before and just part of the job to them.
 

spandit

Registered User
Feb 11, 2020
115
Thanks. It's not constant, it's just occasionally he gets really confused as to how to sit on the toilet and is so slow he doesn't make it in time.
 

PatAnn

Registered User
Mar 6, 2019
35
Thanks. It's not constant, it's just occasionally he gets really confused as to how to sit on the toilet and is so slow he doesn't make it in time.
Had this for a while with my OH bedroom and hall carpet constantly being cleaned he knew he needed to wee so just used to go forgot all about the toilet painted the door surround red put a big picture on door showing a toilet all to no avail he just couldn't remember the process it didnt stop until he accepted wearing incontinence pads luckily before he became double incontinent xx
 

Veritas

Registered User
Jun 15, 2020
61
If you are worried about the environmental impact of using disposable wipes, you might like to consider 'cheeky wipes' (should come up on any search engine) - it'd be impossible to succeed in flushing their 'toilet paper alternatives' down the pan! They might seem expensive, but in my experience it's possible to get through £50 worth of baby wipes or whatever in pretty short order.

Support from the incontinence team is a must in this situation, because they can recommend the right kit and arrange for free supplies where appropriate - especially the sprays and special creams - they do make a difference. Sooner or later he will get sore if this isn't dealt with promptly, and that brings its own problems. The other thing I'd suggest is that a proper wash only three times a week is not enough and if there's any way of increasing that I'd go for it.
 

Weasell

Registered User
Oct 21, 2019
548

The above link is one idea.
The main thing would be his level of compliance?
This product is safe as long as long as it doesn’t enter the anus.
But it has the potential to be dangerous if used wrongly.
The other thing is there is a danger of itching when the hair grows back, you would have to consider?
The best hair removal method would actually be IPL, but not sure about the practicality of that.
This will sound like a joke but actually isn’t ! I would be having a look at some forums on gay websites? They may well have some brilliant ideas about hair removal in that region?