I care from afar. I live in the US and Mum is in the UK.
Her dementia has progressed to paranoia, hallucinations, depression( hiding things, not finding and thinking people come in middle of night to move things).
She's not ready for a home yet (and I know if I even tried, she'd just run away)
I came over from the US to try and get helpers to come over twice a day to sort her for keys and locking/unlocking door.
Everyone I speak to just blatantly ask me when I'm moving back. They keep repeating that I must move back to "take care of mum".
Not even, get my own flat and have even an ounce of a life - no, I have to live with her and be at her beck and call.
Mum won't even hear of helpers.
Oh and she's so much better when im here since I do everything for her. ( Which is fine, I know everyday tasks are just so difficult for her)
I've spent all my adult life in the US, it's all I've known.
At my age, (50) trying to get a new job, rent my house in US, just make that HUGE move is so overwhelming to think about.
Am I wrong to NOT move? I knew this would happen when I came over but the more I see mums decline, the more I think maybe they're right.
I am going through my own depression thing right now due to mum's condition so that won't help down-the-line.
Has anyone gone through this (be it near or afar)
Thank you.
Her dementia has progressed to paranoia, hallucinations, depression( hiding things, not finding and thinking people come in middle of night to move things).
She's not ready for a home yet (and I know if I even tried, she'd just run away)
I came over from the US to try and get helpers to come over twice a day to sort her for keys and locking/unlocking door.
Everyone I speak to just blatantly ask me when I'm moving back. They keep repeating that I must move back to "take care of mum".
Not even, get my own flat and have even an ounce of a life - no, I have to live with her and be at her beck and call.
Mum won't even hear of helpers.
Oh and she's so much better when im here since I do everything for her. ( Which is fine, I know everyday tasks are just so difficult for her)
I've spent all my adult life in the US, it's all I've known.
At my age, (50) trying to get a new job, rent my house in US, just make that HUGE move is so overwhelming to think about.
Am I wrong to NOT move? I knew this would happen when I came over but the more I see mums decline, the more I think maybe they're right.
I am going through my own depression thing right now due to mum's condition so that won't help down-the-line.
Has anyone gone through this (be it near or afar)
Thank you.