Just wanted to say a big thank you for all your support. Not sure where we are at now as I dont think there are any single rooms at CH at the moment but hopefully we will be taken seriously now. It is so so hard to deal with this illness. Havent seen mum since Wednesday as I was too upset to go to the home. Will visit tomorrow and see what has happened. I suspect she will be sharing her room again with the lady needing end of life care as they will have nowhere else to put her. Wish everything was not such a battle on top of dealing with my mum's dementia.
Am I overreacting?
- Thread starter daisydi
- Start date
I am posting this as I need to vent. Went to see mum. Went up to her room to get her some clean clothes, curtains drawn, room dark and lady in bed in middle of room being changed or washed. Couldnt go in, obviously lady very poorly. This is the room my mum is staying in. I had to come away as I cannot deal with this. I cannot find words to describe how I feel. I am heartbroken.
So sorry - I've been following your post and all I can do is send a hug
If it was me I would have gone down to the manager/most senior person and had a rant which would then have dissolved into tears. Not the way to do things but I do seem to end up in tears when it all goes pear shaped - when someone has mucked up and it's our loved ones that suffer.
I don't think it's the right response anyway - what you've done with the SW seems to be the right way.
Poor mum and poor you - hugs
For me its a no win situation. At the moment there are no spare rooms so although social services are backing us up there isn't a room to move my mum into. It is such an awful situation to be in
Went to see the care home manager today to express our views. They were very apologetic and were trying to keep the relatives of the other lady happy as they wanted her to go back from hospital to the care home for her last days. She passed away last night so this particular issue has resolved itself. They said they wouldn't dream of doing it had there been any other way and will not do it again. They still do not want my mum to move rooms but agreed to discuss the matter again if a room becomes available. So we are amicable again now and we both understand each others views. Am I glad this matter has resolved itself!
What a terrible thing to have been through, for yourselves, and the other lady and her family too (I'm assuming they would have preferred more privacy as well).
There's so much emotion involved in something like this... I've lost count of the number of times I've blubbed when I've been determined not to. It shows we're human and that we care! x
There's so much emotion involved in something like this... I've lost count of the number of times I've blubbed when I've been determined not to. It shows we're human and that we care! x
To be honest, it doesn't sound all that resolved to me if they still don't want your mother to move rooms. I would have a meeting with them and social services and ask them to explain themselves properly. Merely not wanting to confuse your mother isn't good enough a reason imho.
I totally agree, it doesn't sound resolved at all, it appears poor practise to me.
They've said they won't do it again, I'm assuming that means not putting someone on end of life care in your mum's room.
Makes me worry that all they mean is they'll find a room where family members don't complain, and inflict the unacceptable indignity on some other poor souls.
It's outrageous for the person dying and for the other resident.
Poor practise.
They say they'll 'discuss' it again if a single room becomes available, I would want more reassurance than that and would continue the discussion NOW.
Best wishes.
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Thanks for your input. I am not happy that my mum is still in a shared room but at the moment we have no choice. My mum on the other hand is very happy at the care home and I do not wish to move her. I am confident that this situation will not happen again. Social services do agree with us so I am sure will fight our case when a room becomes available.
