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Am I going to be able to do this.

jenniferjean

Registered User
Apr 2, 2016
752
Basingstoke, Hampshire
I came on here tonight because I'm tired, I'm worn out and I'm wondering if I can do this.
A month ago I gave myself a pat on the back for being able to cope. Being able to clean his bottom after he'd been because he wasn't doing too well by him self. I surprised myself that I was able to do it.
But at the moment I'm struggling. Now he is going to the toilet but most of it ends up in his pull-ups. He's not telling me if he's been so the first I know is the smell. By which time he's sat in it. He's just done it now, half past five. I'm now supposed to go in the kitchen and cook our dinner. I can't face it.
 

PatAnn

Registered User
Mar 6, 2019
31
I came on here tonight because I'm tired, I'm worn out and I'm wondering if I can do this.
A month ago I gave myself a pat on the back for being able to cope. Being able to clean his bottom after he'd been because he wasn't doing too well by him self. I surprised myself that I was able to do it.
But at the moment I'm struggling. Now he is going to the toilet but most of it ends up in his pull-ups. He's not telling me if he's been so the first I know is the smell. By which time he's sat in it. He's just done it now, half past five. I'm now supposed to go in the kitchen and cook our dinner. I can't face it.
I'm afraid it happens to me regularly to I keep checking and asking before i start dinner nothing critical time wham my OH walks past and i have to turn everything off and take him to the bathroom i could cry sometimes he keeps moving around while I'm trying to clean him up then usually urinates on the bathroom floor and steps in it I could scream but like you I hold it in get him sorted scrub the floor scrub myself breath deeply do the dinner till the next time sorry but it's just a circle no magic wand and no easy answers best of luck and know there are plenty of us out there doing the same xx
 

White Rose

Registered User
Nov 4, 2018
671
I came on here tonight because I'm tired, I'm worn out and I'm wondering if I can do this.
A month ago I gave myself a pat on the back for being able to cope. Being able to clean his bottom after he'd been because he wasn't doing too well by him self. I surprised myself that I was able to do it.
But at the moment I'm struggling. Now he is going to the toilet but most of it ends up in his pull-ups. He's not telling me if he's been so the first I know is the smell. By which time he's sat in it. He's just done it now, half past five. I'm now supposed to go in the kitchen and cook our dinner. I can't face it.
I was thinking recently that we hadn't heard from you for a while @jenniferjean , it's just heartbreaking isn't it. You keep plodding on, facing every challenge that gets thrown at you but then it's one challenge too many, you have a melt down then you rise to the challenge - again! It's too much for one person to deal with.
We don't have the pooh issues so much but peeing all over the floor is regular. His anger is really causing problems, particularly with the carers. Other times he's so sweet and lovely. Currently I just feel sad to see him reduced to a child, walking round the house not knowing what to do with himself, picking up newspapers and magazines and taking them upstairs or bringing them down again. It's so so cruel and such an emotional and physical strain on the person caring for them.
I hope things get a bit better for you, maybe they won't but no doubt you'll find the internal resources to carry on. x
 

Jksw

New member
Jul 30, 2020
1
I'm afraid it happens to me regularly to I keep checking and asking before i start dinner nothing critical time wham my OH walks past and i have to turn everything off and take him to the bathroom i could cry sometimes he keeps moving around while I'm trying to clean him up then usually urinates on the bathroom floor and steps in it I could scream but like you I hold it in get him sorted scrub the floor scrub myself breath deeply do the dinner till the next time sorry but it's just a circle no magic wand and no easy answers best of luck and know there are plenty of us out there doing the same xx
I have great empathy as I go through this everyday. Yesterday my husband had a nosebleed plus a daily accident at the same time . He was ok; however while trying to change him I had blood dripping on my head! Onwards and upwards!?
 

Cat27

Volunteer Moderator
Feb 27, 2015
11,453
Merseyside
I have great empathy as I go through this everyday. Yesterday my husband had a nosebleed plus a daily accident at the same time . He was ok; however while trying to change him I had blood dripping on my head! Onwards and upwards!?
Welcome to DTP @Jksw
Please keep posting as you’ll get lots of support here.
 

jenniferjean

Registered User
Apr 2, 2016
752
Basingstoke, Hampshire
Well I solved the problem of cooking the meal tonight. I took two meals out of the cupboard. I'd recently bought some home delivered that don't need to be frozen. They just go straight in the microwave. So I was able to eat. Obviously I won't be doing it too often, just now and again when needed. They're not big meals but big enough for us.
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
338
i was always told to mouth breathe but i always forget.im lucky that he sorts himself out but do need to clean afterwards.i dont tell him and do it well after.
 

CarolandVic

New member
May 1, 2020
5
I came on here tonight because I'm tired, I'm worn out and I'm wondering if I can do this.
A month ago I gave myself a pat on the back for being able to cope. Being able to clean his bottom after he'd been because he wasn't doing too well by him self. I surprised myself that I was able to do it.
But at the moment I'm struggling. Now he is going to the toilet but most of it ends up in his pull-ups. He's not telling me if he's been so the first I know is the smell. By which time he's sat in it. He's just done it now, half past five. I'm now supposed to go in the kitchen and cook our dinner. I can't face it.
Hi jennifer, I've just come on here for the same reason. I am tired physically and mentally. i just want to cry. Up until a few weeks ago I said that I could cope but now I don't think that I can. Vic was diagnosed with vascula four years ago after strokes and tia's. He now has seizures and is status epilepticus which means critical care every time. His memory is fine for facts and figures but he can't concentrate, can't sleep and says that his brain won't stop! He has itching everywhere and scratches until he bleeds. He is so disorientated and dizzy that we now have to use an indoor wheelchair. His mobility scooter is now useless. At 73 we had planned on still living and travelling. Now it is a living nightmare.
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
338
im sorry to hear life is not what you planned.im only 53 but my husband is 72. it seems we have just got the youngest one sorted with her own family[26] and do what we want when we want and we cant. we have 4 children but because i already had one we have never had a child free dating.but we knew that and we havent regretted it
 

White Rose

Registered User
Nov 4, 2018
671
Hi jennifer, I've just come on here for the same reason. I am tired physically and mentally. i just want to cry. Up until a few weeks ago I said that I could cope but now I don't think that I can. Vic was diagnosed with vascula four years ago after strokes and tia's. He now has seizures and is status epilepticus which means critical care every time. His memory is fine for facts and figures but he can't concentrate, can't sleep and says that his brain won't stop! He has itching everywhere and scratches until he bleeds. He is so disorientated and dizzy that we now have to use an indoor wheelchair. His mobility scooter is now useless. At 73 we had planned on still living and travelling. Now it is a living nightmare.
Hello @CarolandVic does your husband have medication for the seizures? My partner had a stroke and was having the occasional seizure but he takes 1 x 250 mg levetiracetam tablet each morning and hasn't had a seizure since. Is he on other medication? I think the Donepezil might have been causing itching, since he's been on memantine his itching has stopped. I'm sorry you're having such a bad time. It certainly is a nightmare.
 

BleuDay

Registered User
Nov 10, 2016
14
I came on here tonight because I'm tired, I'm worn out and I'm wondering if I can do this.
A month ago I gave myself a pat on the back for being able to cope. Being able to clean his bottom after he'd been because he wasn't doing too well by him self. I surprised myself that I was able to do it.
But at the moment I'm struggling. Now he is going to the toilet but most of it ends up in his pull-ups. He's not telling me if he's been so the first I know is the smell. By which time he's sat in it. He's just done it now, half past five. I'm now supposed to go in the kitchen and cook our dinner. I can't face it.
Gosh I know how u feel. I just returned from a day out with the grandkids and oh went to bathroom and came looking for me cause he cudnt clean himself. I had to put him into the shower and he is so poor at following instructions...he was sat on the chair in the shower so I cudnt get at him to clean him. When he stood up he almost fell over he is so unsteady. I ended up soaked and the whole bathroom was a mess. I just cannot do this. U deserve more than a pat on the back for being able to do this I don’t think I will ever be able to. This illness is a nightmare.
 

vannesser

Registered User
Apr 4, 2016
329
Hi jennifer, I've just come on here for the same reason. I am tired physically and mentally. i just want to cry. Up until a few weeks ago I said that I could cope but now I don't think that I can. Vic was diagnosed with vascula four years ago after strokes and tia's. He now has seizures and is status epilepticus which means critical care every time. His memory is fine for facts and figures but he can't concentrate, can't sleep and says that his brain won't stop! He has itching everywhere and scratches until he bleeds. He is so disorientated and dizzy that we now have to use an indoor wheelchair. His mobility scooter is now useless. At 73 we had planned on still living and travelling. Now it is a living nightmare.
Hi my oh was allso dignose with vascaler 4 years ago,over past 2 year he as been going down hill,
Chest infecshion last januery 2019 took him of his leg AND INCONTANENT BUT NOT TO BAD ,s and needed ads to walk.with and pushed in wheel chair ,whent i n hospital again in june this ýear ,
CAME OUT NEEDING HOSPITAL BED AND 8 CARES ADAY TO WASH HIM DOWN DRESS AND WHERE PADS AS CAN NOT STAND ,TTHEN THAY COME TO CHANG HIS PADS 2 TIMES THEN AT NIGHT TO GET HIM DRESST FOR BED ,HE IS 77 I AM 61.
Dont no wether he will ever walk or beable to stand up ,and some times cry as to what life is /and what next its not a life but we just plod on xxx
 

DILhelp

Registered User
Jan 31, 2016
74
London
I'm afraid it happens to me regularly to I keep checking and asking before i start dinner nothing critical time wham my OH walks past and i have to turn everything off and take him to the bathroom i could cry sometimes he keeps moving around while I'm trying to clean him up then usually urinates on the bathroom floor and steps in it I could scream but like you I hold it in get him sorted scrub the floor scrub myself breath deeply do the dinner till the next time sorry but it's just a circle no magic wand and no easy answers best of luck and know there are plenty of us out there doing the same xx
Sadly our way of life too double incontinence. Very hard part now big part of life. We're all doing amazing. God bless us all xx
 

BleuDay

Registered User
Nov 10, 2016
14
My oh was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer’s at aged 58.He is now 62 and we have seen a rapid decline in the last 6 months. The main thing is these rapid involuntary movements which come out of no where and he has become increasingly unsteady on his feet particularly in the mornings . I’m afraid he will hit out at the careers or our daughters. The medics think it is due to the combination of drugs he is taking. He is currently on aspirin 2 blood pressure tablets an antidepressant called sertraline,donepizil and memantine. Has anyone else had a similar experience. The consultant has suggested we take him off one drug at a time to see if there is any improvement. I believe it could be the memantine from some articles I’ve read. Welcome any advice or thoughts
Yours hopefully
BlueDay
 

PalSal

Registered User
Dec 4, 2011
867
Pratteln Switzerland
Well I solved the problem of cooking the meal tonight. I took two meals out of the cupboard. I'd recently bought some home delivered that don't need to be frozen. They just go straight in the microwave. So I was able to eat. Obviously I won't be doing it too often, just now and again when needed. They're not big meals but big enough for us.
Yes I keep those on hand. Also as of June 2020, I have Meals on Wheels deliver a hot lunch just for Nick Monday thru Saturday. This has been a real life saver for me. I do not have much of an appetite, and Nicky has always had a good appetite so I am sure he gets one hot meal a day. Then it is up to me if I cook in the evening or not.
I can completely relate to the poo problems and clean up. Nicky has had diarrhea three bouts of it since January. Each lasting between 3 and 5 days.....it pushed me over the edge and that is why he is now on a waiting list for care. But the not cleaning himself properly is always there on a daily basis, he just cannot do it. I bought a big package of puppy pads as recommended here on TP for puddles in the bathroom...that is working well.
 

White Rose

Registered User
Nov 4, 2018
671
My oh was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer’s at aged 58.He is now 62 and we have seen a rapid decline in the last 6 months. The main thing is these rapid involuntary movements which come out of no where and he has become increasingly unsteady on his feet particularly in the mornings . I’m afraid he will hit out at the careers or our daughters. The medics think it is due to the combination of drugs he is taking. He is currently on aspirin 2 blood pressure tablets an antidepressant called sertraline,donepizil and memantine. Has anyone else had a similar experience. The consultant has suggested we take him off one drug at a time to see if there is any improvement. I believe it could be the memantine from some articles I’ve read. Welcome any advice or thoughts
Yours hopefully
BlueDay
Hi @BleuDay , I've posted in another thread my experiences with Donepezil and Memantine. I found that Donepezil was the cause of terrible anger outbursts and things quietened down after my partner was prescribed Memantine but I found the 10 mg plus of Memantine was causing mobility issues and reduced spacial awareness. I've tried a combination of 5 mg of each but anger outbursts and swearing have been much worse. So now I've cut it to 5 mg of Memantine only and he has a daily tablet to control seizures. So far, fingers crossed, mobility is good, spacial awareness not to bad and he's a lot less angry. Donepezil was also causing him to go to the toilet a lot and regular 'accidents' where he got to the toilet too late. There's been an improvement on that side of things although bit of an incident last night when he didn't wipe his bum after going to the toilet and it was all over the fitted sheet (which typically I had just changed that night!). GP needs to be consulted re meds of course but in our case the GP seems happy to go with whatever I suggest works the best. Trial and error.
 

White Rose

Registered User
Nov 4, 2018
671
I came on here tonight because I'm tired, I'm worn out and I'm wondering if I can do this.
A month ago I gave myself a pat on the back for being able to cope. Being able to clean his bottom after he'd been because he wasn't doing too well by him self. I surprised myself that I was able to do it.
But at the moment I'm struggling. Now he is going to the toilet but most of it ends up in his pull-ups. He's not telling me if he's been so the first I know is the smell. By which time he's sat in it. He's just done it now, half past five. I'm now supposed to go in the kitchen and cook our dinner. I can't face it.
Hope you're doing OK @jenniferjean. Thought I'd share a lovely incident from last night so you're not alone! 1pm he needs to go to the toilet, at least he sat on it properly but I could tell from the noises that it was a number 2 and he didn't clean his bottom. So I tried to clean his bottom before he went back to bed but he wasn't having it - result, nice clean sheets smeared with excrement. So I have to get him to stand up so I can change the bottom sheet, he puts his fingers to his bottom and now there's poo on his hands. I grab a wet cloth from the en-suite and clean his hands, try again to clean his bottom, pull off the sheet and put a towel down where he's about to sit. Then pants on, get him up so I can put on a clean sheet. He's not happy about all this of course and it's taken 3/4 an hour all in all till he's asleep again and I'm still finding bits of poo on the carpet. Dirty sheet, towel, pants and face flannel to wash and a good clean of the carpet in the morning - joys!!
 

PatAnn

Registered User
Mar 6, 2019
31
My oh was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer’s at aged 58.He is now 62 and we have seen a rapid decline in the last 6 months. The main thing is these rapid involuntary movements which come out of no where and he has become increasingly unsteady on his feet particularly in the mornings . I’m afraid he will hit out at the careers or our daughters. The medics think it is due to the combination of drugs he is taking. He is currently on aspirin 2 blood pressure tablets an antidepressant called sertraline,donepizil and memantine. Has anyone else had a similar experience. The consultant has suggested we take him off one drug at a time to see if there is any improvement. I believe it could be the memantine from some articles I’ve read. Welcome any advice or thoughts
Yours hopefully
BlueDay
My other half was also diagnosed at 58 and just had his 62nd birthday he is also on donezipil and memantine he also takes citroen for depression we havent experienced any side effects but everybody is different and it's worth trying to find what suits your husband best of luck I hope its sorted soon x
 

BleuDay

Registered User
Nov 10, 2016
14
Hi @BleuDay , I've posted in another thread my experiences with Donepezil and Memantine. I found that Donepezil was the cause of terrible anger outbursts and things quietened down after my partner was prescribed Memantine but I found the 10 mg plus of Memantine was causing mobility issues and reduced spacial awareness. I've tried a combination of 5 mg of each but anger outbursts and swearing have been much worse. So now I've cut it to 5 mg of Memantine only and he has a daily tablet to control seizures. So far, fingers crossed, mobility is good, spacial awareness not to bad and he's a lot less angry. Donepezil was also causing him to go to the toilet a lot and regular 'accidents' where he got to the toilet too late. There's been an improvement on that side of things although bit of an incident last night when he didn't wipe his bum after going to the toilet and it was all over the fitted sheet (which typically I had just changed that night!). GP needs to be consulted re meds of course but in our case the GP seems happy to go with whatever I suggest works the best. Trial and error.
Hi White Rose
Thank you for that. It’s interesting you say about the frequency of toilet needs my oh is always looking for a toilet and checking that he can get to one. I never associated it with the tablets I thot it was an age thing for men.There are serious mobility issues and lack of spatial awareness going on with him as well. Tho as of today gp has advised to take him off both donepizil memantine and sertraline. I’m happy to do that and see if anything changes. As you say it appears to be trial and error and no one seems to know what is best advice. I’m loath to take him off memantine completely so will look into 5 mg option after 2 weeks. I hope mobility and special awareness may improve during that time so fingers crossed.
Take care.