Am I fooling myself

[Worried Milly]

My husband - 66 yrs old - was diagnosed at the age of 59 and has now spent 2.5 years in a residential home. Recently moved into nursing but very quickly ended up in hospital with aspiration pneumonia. He has been mute for about 3 years and shown signs of Parkinsons over the past 18 months.

He has taken small amounts of thickened liquid and food after getting over the pneumonia with antibiotics. Now he clenches his teeth together and it is extremely hard to get any food or liquid into him.

He is on a glucose drip and his meds are given by patches in hospital. The other day I arrived to find the glucose drip gone and was told that the prescription was completed.

I pointed out that he was not drinking and would dehydrate without it. They restarted it.

Just been doing a lot of reading about end of life and what should and should not be given perhaps and am I kidding myself that I should continue in this vein. Was it the doctors way of starting the end of life procedure in the nicest way ? The very last thing my husband would want is to be where he is now - but I just find it hard to think of him going - although I know I would never give the go ahead for the PEG.

Confused & upset.

xxx

 

[Grannie G]

Hello Milly

If the doctors were starting end of life care for your husband they should have discussed it with you, not allowed you to experience the shock of finding your husband taken off the drip without explanation.

Perhaps you can have a meeting with the doctors to ask them precisely what stage of his illness your husband is at and how they suggest his care needs should be met.

 

[BLONDY]

What would your criteria be for having an animal put down, this may sound rather harsh however it seems so cruel to keep a person alive when they cannot talk walk eat drink or go to the toilet, no vet would ever allow this. We cling onto hope but in our hearts we know our loved on is never going to get better only worse. How much suffering must everyone go through.
Kind Regards
Blondy

 

[Eternity]

Hey Milly,

I was a bit shocked reading your post. The doctors should absolutely speak to you. He is your husband. I can understand why you would be upset

Agree with grannie G that it might be a good thing to ask the doctors to have a honest chat with you.

You need to know what is going on and be involved and informed (sorry, of course if that is what you want to happen)

 

[LYN T]

Hi Milly

That must have been a shock for you. I agree with the others that you should be kept informed-talk to the Head Nurse maybe? You need to know and make choices

Take care

Lyn T