My 62 year old mum has been diagnosed with vascular dementia and alzheimers maybe lewy body as well not sure quite yet, however I am her main carer and have been since april when she declined very quickly. Since this I have been off work for my own medical reason and have been looking after her full time I have found it extremely hard and lost my patience with her at times which destroys me inside, but she never listens, never takes on board what I say and that I do it all to keep her safe. social is finally involved and they have offered respite for me and mum but mum refuses to go for respite and thinks that she can stay at home on her own and says that I should just go on holiday. I am very wary of care homes for respite or anything else with horror stories about residents being left in wet, soiled clothes etc. I feel so guilty and know that I have to return to work at some point, but social has offered carers four times a day with day centre and occasional respite, will this be a good thing for my mum? They also said about a care home permantly but it will mean that I could loose my home as I live with my mum, I just dont know what is best for her, at the moment so knows who I am, will she defo forget me in time, will the four times a day work and is a care home a good idea when social said i could defer payments, i mean how much does it cost all this. im stressed out about everything, mum has no money only the house, and I dont earn a massive amount but pay for the running of it. I was going to build on to make the place self sufficient, should I still bother, now that I may have to get a mortgage out if mum is forced into care?? I really dont want her in care can it work that she lives out her days at home or will she just not know who or where she is or even care???