Yet more advice please. My OH (now aged ony 66) has been in a good care home for a year now. She settled very well, then went through a really tearful patch but some recent changes to her medications have helped alievaite this. The advice about medication reviews I got on this forum was very helpful. The big struggle for the home at the moment is getting her to keep incontinence pants on - but that is another story. I visit most days and at the beginiing she was always very pleased to see me, even though she kind of forgot who I was after a few weeks, but my currency as someone she 'knew' and who cares for her was good. However, the last weeks have seen her getting angry with me and she starts to cry when I visit. She won't come out for a walk now and says she doesen't like me and walks out of the room. I think she also tries to tell me something about me putting her in the home - though her articulation is not good now. I pay some helpers to go into the home to give the one-to-one staff don't have time for and my OH is very cheerful with them. Staff say she is not at all unhappy. I come away feeling awful, especially as I have left my OH angry and tearful. So I am asking myself if I am doing more harm than good. Does seeing me dredge up some sort of hazy memory of life with me somewhere else? In her dementia has she got it right that I placed/put her in the home and so she is rightly cross? Should I stay away? Our kids visit very infrequently as they find the illness very upsetting and my OH aso can get angry with them. It seems 'strangers' have the best visits. Any advice welcome as always.