MiL lives with us, has been diagnosed for a few years, lived with us since Feb ( we converted the garage into a bedroom and en suite and built a lounge, had the garden landscaped so it was elderly friendly ), I work full time, her son ( my other half ) is her carer. She has depression too, 2nd week into tablets to help that, finally got a CPN round , she sundowns every night, refuses to eat but does do when I take dinner in. Her short term memory is a few minutes, she won't go out, and if she visits her sister ( same illness, in a care home) MiL is hard work for the next few days " I wish I was dead" or "i was never like this before I came here" or "I would be better in a home I'm a burden I don't see anyone all day " - OH is with her all day until she goes to bed, we've been out once since Feb, her other son sat with her for 5 hours... I'm drained, she's ill, I know that, but she won't wash, won't change her clothes, moves my things around, hides things, is a danger to herself. Nobody helps, which is what we expected, but its so oppressive. I keep her stocked with lemonade ( she needs reminding to drink) and biscuits, fruit and chocolates...her meals are fresh, served quietly and on her tray etc in this lovely room we had built for her ( she won't sit with us as she loses the thread of family conversation at the kitchen table ). We are getting married in 29 days, no honeymoon, nobody can care for her.. when she is low she wants to go into a home...I love her but she's exhausting, unpleasant at times, almost aggressive. I follow all the hints and tips on here, you guys are amazing btw, but is it time for respite? How do I even know what stage she is at? Any ideas, please, I'm worried we've done it all wrong, she always said to her sons please don't put me in a home...help TP'ers , please...sorry , rant over..