As posted on other threads, Mum is 91, has had dementia for 8/9 years, has to be hoisted every move, and is doubly incontinent. Mum was diagnosed as end of life on 9th June. Mum is self funding, but has now been placed on CHC funding, due to her condition.
She has had all meds withdrawn, and has patches for any pain she may have as she can no longer take tablets. We were called up last Wednesday as the home thought she had deteriorated, but when we got there, she didn’t seem to us to have changed. She is sleeping most of the time and now no longer seems to recognise us. She does seem to have gone down hill slightly over the past week.
We visit once or twice a day but just sit with Mum. The home has provided a carer to be with her 24/7, who leave when we visit.
My issue is, that we know Mum is going to pass at some point, and I cannot bear to see her in this state. I have POA, and one of my duties is to do what I think Mum would have wanted, and she certainly would not want to go on in this state.
When we are in the room, we check the carers log to see what Mum has done since the last visit, and whilst Mum MUST obviously be offered food regularly (generally a yoghurt) and water or juice, it seems to me like one or two of the carers are actively ‘encouraging’ her to eat. One young lad writes in the log as though he is really proud as he managed to ‘get her eat a whole yogurt, and take 35 syringes of water’, whereas most of the other carers only manage 2/3 small spoons of yoghurt and 4/5 syringes of water…….
Here lies my problem……..I don’t want to sound harsh and mercenary, but I don’t want Mum to continue in this state for any longer than she has to. Whilst I want her to receive any food and drink she wants, I don’t want them encouraging her to eat more, as this could prolong the ‘end of life’ stage, which is not what Mum would have wanted……
She has had all meds withdrawn, and has patches for any pain she may have as she can no longer take tablets. We were called up last Wednesday as the home thought she had deteriorated, but when we got there, she didn’t seem to us to have changed. She is sleeping most of the time and now no longer seems to recognise us. She does seem to have gone down hill slightly over the past week.
We visit once or twice a day but just sit with Mum. The home has provided a carer to be with her 24/7, who leave when we visit.
My issue is, that we know Mum is going to pass at some point, and I cannot bear to see her in this state. I have POA, and one of my duties is to do what I think Mum would have wanted, and she certainly would not want to go on in this state.
When we are in the room, we check the carers log to see what Mum has done since the last visit, and whilst Mum MUST obviously be offered food regularly (generally a yoghurt) and water or juice, it seems to me like one or two of the carers are actively ‘encouraging’ her to eat. One young lad writes in the log as though he is really proud as he managed to ‘get her eat a whole yogurt, and take 35 syringes of water’, whereas most of the other carers only manage 2/3 small spoons of yoghurt and 4/5 syringes of water…….
Here lies my problem……..I don’t want to sound harsh and mercenary, but I don’t want Mum to continue in this state for any longer than she has to. Whilst I want her to receive any food and drink she wants, I don’t want them encouraging her to eat more, as this could prolong the ‘end of life’ stage, which is not what Mum would have wanted……