Hi all, i've been reading lots of posts on here, and an staggered at how wonderful so many of you are caring for your relatives in your own homes. So; mum had a 'mental episode' six months ago. She spent 3 weeks in general hospital and a further 7 in an older persons mental unit. They said it wasn't dementia and treated her for psychosis, and she is still on medication for this. When she was discharged we had about 4 weeks of her being okay but then the bad days, as i call them, started. She will be very vacant, aimless wandering, not knowing why she is doing things. The neighbours called an ambulance at the beginning of August and she was taken back to hospital. Since then its has been a constant string of infections causing delirium (she is very prone to UTIs) and a constant calls to GP, 111, 999 (accidental overdose) and taking her into hospital. Just over a week ago I went mad at the hospital when they wanted to discharge her, having done none of the tests they said they would, so they have now done some tests and diagnosed vascular dementia. Mum is 74 and lives alone in a relatively remote location near the sea. On days when she seems to be 'in the room' she is extremely depressed and often very anxious with short breathing and profuse sweating. She is having a lot of dizzy spells now too. 2 weeks ago she was found wandering around the park where she lives, barefoot and bleeding having been bitten by her dogs. Again it turned out she had a UTI, but she had only been discharged supposedly clear of infection exactly 1 week earlier. From reading many posts on here care homes really seem to be seen as a last resort, but I wonder if anyone has decided to go down this route a bit earlier?? I feel callous thinking this but I live 250 miles away, my sister lives abroad and my brother has disabilites himself so can't care for her. She doesn't have anyone popping in to see her regularly hence the lonliness which breaks my heart. I just wonder if being somewhere where she can socialise if she wants to, join in activities if she wants to, and she should hopefully eat and drink better could actually do wonders for her even though she has only just been diagnosed? She has lost a lot of weight in the last 6 months and is often dehydrated which obviously isn't helping with the infections. I love my mum to pieces, but I know that I am not strong enough to look after her myself. I feel like I sound like an awful and selfish person, but I hope someone might be able to offer a little advice. Sorry for the massive post!