Hi folks, it's been about a month since my last post (this sounds like a confession!
) but I've just returned from a few days away with my family, including my father who we feel has undiagnosed dementia and has done for around a decade (we have just had our first memory clinic, scans and are awaiting next clinic).
Short story, my aunt is visiting from Oz and is frankly shocked about how life is going over here. These last few days have been quite an eye opener for her and she is concerned over two main things: one, that dad is clearly ill and getting no treatment and two, it is ruling my life.
She's right - I've become a full time carer from a three mile distance and it's crept up on me. I've quit my full time evening job to a dinner lady working 10 hours a week and my family (husband and young son) are struggling financially. We would like to try for another baby but can't because I feel I couldn't cope with running two homes, husband, dad, child, baby and job. I have no social life (sounding familiar to many of you, I'm sure) and am going greyer day by day. I don't recognise the person in the mirror any more. And I'm tired of everyone telling me what dad is or isn't doing as if I'm expected to produce a miraculous solution to everything!
I'm glad my aunt is here to point out just how things are, but on the other hand it has highlighted the fact that I need to do something proactive. Only trouble is, I don't know where to start! Should I wait to see what these memory clinics lead to? Should I get someone in to dad's house to help with the day-to-day stuff? Dad is lucid enough to approach with these things but it would break his heart to think that it is ruling my life to the extent which it is..................
I think that's my moan over! All praise be to TP as ever - I feel I can rant on here without judgment!
) but I've just returned from a few days away with my family, including my father who we feel has undiagnosed dementia and has done for around a decade (we have just had our first memory clinic, scans and are awaiting next clinic). Short story, my aunt is visiting from Oz and is frankly shocked about how life is going over here. These last few days have been quite an eye opener for her and she is concerned over two main things: one, that dad is clearly ill and getting no treatment and two, it is ruling my life.
She's right - I've become a full time carer from a three mile distance and it's crept up on me. I've quit my full time evening job to a dinner lady working 10 hours a week and my family (husband and young son) are struggling financially. We would like to try for another baby but can't because I feel I couldn't cope with running two homes, husband, dad, child, baby and job. I have no social life (sounding familiar to many of you, I'm sure) and am going greyer day by day. I don't recognise the person in the mirror any more. And I'm tired of everyone telling me what dad is or isn't doing as if I'm expected to produce a miraculous solution to everything!
I'm glad my aunt is here to point out just how things are, but on the other hand it has highlighted the fact that I need to do something proactive. Only trouble is, I don't know where to start! Should I wait to see what these memory clinics lead to? Should I get someone in to dad's house to help with the day-to-day stuff? Dad is lucid enough to approach with these things but it would break his heart to think that it is ruling my life to the extent which it is..................
I think that's my moan over! All praise be to TP as ever - I feel I can rant on here without judgment!
