Am I a carer?

[sistermillicent]

I have just been to the GP and while I was there I asked whether I could have a flu jab, I am concerned that I don't want to accidentally give my parents flu when I visit them.
The receptionist checked with the nurse and phoned me just now to say I can provided I am their carer. Well I don't think I am their carer officially, I care about them, I looked after them when dad was in hospital twice this summer and last summer and I keep dad going with phone calls between visits, I wash my mum's hair, feed her, cook and clean for them when I am there.

But I live 150 miles away, how can I be their carer?

If I am to have a flu jab done by my surgery I have to have it on my notes that I am a carer.

Anyway I said Yes, I am their carer because I think I am entitled to a free flu jab to protect them............so now it's on my notes.
Feels odd.
At what point did others find they were carers, are there other people like me out there who haven't really thought of themselves in that way before?

(I know I am posting in "I care for a person with dementia", I suppose I always take that to mean that I care about a person with dementia)

 

[Grannie G]

I`ve always seen you as a carer, sistermillicent. What else could you be.

 

[ellejay]

Yes I find it odd too. I suppose I always thought of carer as being hands on 24 hrs a day.
Before mum went into a CH, when SS were first involved, I filled out the form thing saying what I did. They said that made me a carer, but I still didn't really feel like one.

I suppose it's a bit like being a parent, you're still looking after your children wherever they've flown the nest to .

Lin x

 

[sistermillicent]

I thought of myself as that bedraggled interfering daughter who sometimes has a bright idea and helps out a bit when she has time and always pitches up when there's a crisis.

I also thought carers were 24 hours a day or at least daily and doing lots of physical stuff not giving pep talks on the phone and listening to the details of how much banana was eaten and whether it was with custard or cream.

But I haven't thought about getting a flu jab before this year, maybe because I always felt dad was the carer and I was the sidekick, lately he has been so unwell I have been looking after him more than mum and I think something has moved on.

 

[jugglingmum]

I find it odd that I am classified as a carer.

I have arranged for my mum to live in sheltered extra care, and I do her shopping and sort out her hospital appointments, so I am effectively her carer as she couldn't manage this without me - but I don't see her daily.

I had not thought about being entitled to the flu jab, as only see her once or maybe twice a week. I arranged for her to have a flu jab this week and I am entitled to a flu jab as I am now listed as suffering form asthma - not had one before and wasn't sure whether to have it anyway.

 

[Miss Merlot]

I don't think I can be a carer, as I don't care about MIL. Or only care insomuch as her illness impacts negatively on our lives.

Plus have stepped back from a caring role lately for the sake of my own sanity.

On the other hand, I liaise with the agency carers still, sort out all the admin etc, and until two months ago from about late 2011 was definitely "actively" caring by any definition.

So am not sure really! I certainly don't want to be!

 

[Oxy]

Yes you are. I always knew I was in a strange way but was reluctant to admit it as my perception of such was poor. I lost income, time and energy through it but still hard to admit. If only I had claimed for carers allowance for the short periods during which I was eligible. Now of course I am one undeniably.
I think the younger one is the more reluctant one is to classify oneself as a carer. But what is in a name? Nothing. It is what we do that counts and recognition by government re benefits is certainly not recognised. Will stop there as I think political comments not allowed. However whatever flavour the gov******* were I don't think it would make a difference. Carers aren't glamorous and their carees aren't either.

 

[Dearie Me]

This is how i felt when I was offered the jab last winter. When I took mum for hers I was offered it too, and when I queried it the gp asked what would happen to mums care if I got flu. That was a real wake up call. I have only had flu once as a teenager, and still remember how I could barely get out of bed for a week, and was off college for another 10 days or so. No way could I risk that now, leaving aside the chance of passing it on.

 

[sistermillicent]

Miss M I am sure that even though you have stepped back you are still considering MIL in your plans even if you aren't really aware of it and much though you might think you don't care about her I can't imagine from your previous posts that you would ignore a human being in a crisis. (Though I am ignoring my own MIL just now as she is being a living nightmare, no dementia just constant criticism)
Oxy, I haven't lost out on any benefits but I haven't before had to stick that label of carer on myself officially.
And as to the flu jab I was thinking more of making sure mum and dad don't catch flu from me accidentally, you are infectious before symptoms appear, I believe. I would never forgive myself for being the cause of death for either of them.

 

[Oxy]

I would have the flu jab asap if I were you. I have had it for years to enable me to carry on caring when at a distance. It wasn't easy to get-my profession was of greater importance than being a carer ata distance. Problem with flu also is that it has rapid onset. Now offering it to me is no problem and I've been done.
I try my best to avoid colds too as two out of the last three have meant c has ended up with pneumonia however careful I was with hygiene, washing anything I had touched after using tissues down to doorhandles!