Hi everyone, wonder if anyone can help.
My mum has some colorectal medical issues and has had a couple of operations to try and fix a painful problem she has, but to no avail. We have now been given two options - the first is to keep going as we are - this is living every day around a toilet, mum getting upset, in pain and not understanding the issue she has every time she feels she needs to go - which is every 30mins - and Dad having to be on hand to pick up the pieces every time and them both not being able to go out anywhere without facilities at hand. The second is a colostomy. We have an appt later today with the stoma nurses at our local hospital but the consultant from the last op openly said they don't like doing a colostomy with Alzheimer's or dementia patients and I am struggling to find anyone that has been where we are and has any experience, good or bad.
We feel like we're between a rock and a hard place, but right now their quality of life is non-existent and Mum, although she lost all rationality, short term memory and struggles to understand things, still washes & dresses herself (even if it is in the same cardigan every day) and wants to be going out places (every day). Dad is very stressed and tired; neither are sleeping properly due to her problem and dad cant give her a sleeping tablet because of it, and of course night time wandering & confusion. He's suffering greatly so this decision is not just about Mum, it is about both of them.
So, aware that there are pros & cons to both choices, and we're concerned about her 'accepting' a bag, constantly questioning why it's there and potentially removing it at inopportune times.. But, which is the lesser of these evils?? Any advice/sharing of experience gratefully received.
My mum has some colorectal medical issues and has had a couple of operations to try and fix a painful problem she has, but to no avail. We have now been given two options - the first is to keep going as we are - this is living every day around a toilet, mum getting upset, in pain and not understanding the issue she has every time she feels she needs to go - which is every 30mins - and Dad having to be on hand to pick up the pieces every time and them both not being able to go out anywhere without facilities at hand. The second is a colostomy. We have an appt later today with the stoma nurses at our local hospital but the consultant from the last op openly said they don't like doing a colostomy with Alzheimer's or dementia patients and I am struggling to find anyone that has been where we are and has any experience, good or bad.
We feel like we're between a rock and a hard place, but right now their quality of life is non-existent and Mum, although she lost all rationality, short term memory and struggles to understand things, still washes & dresses herself (even if it is in the same cardigan every day) and wants to be going out places (every day). Dad is very stressed and tired; neither are sleeping properly due to her problem and dad cant give her a sleeping tablet because of it, and of course night time wandering & confusion. He's suffering greatly so this decision is not just about Mum, it is about both of them.
So, aware that there are pros & cons to both choices, and we're concerned about her 'accepting' a bag, constantly questioning why it's there and potentially removing it at inopportune times.. But, which is the lesser of these evils?? Any advice/sharing of experience gratefully received.