At a loss....
I don't know what to say about family and friends. There seem to be no words to describe how I feel, without swearing.
My IN LAWS have been a disappointment from the get-go.
Over the last few weeks I thought I was going to lose my dear husband, and indeed he had the 'last rights' (Sacrement of the Sick) done x 2 when he was on a ventilator.
I'm not Catholic, and this was done at MIL request. Husband not been to church in years +.
Family (brothers and sisters in law), came out of the 'wood work'..
ALL of a sudden they had time to see him (and I guess me).
Once they 'knew' or rather had an idea that he was going to survive, all contact stopped.. just like normal then.
Now we have the added complication of incontinence, we are truely stuck, in that we can no longer visit one of his brothers.
We can only visit 2 anyway, due to toilets being 'upstairs'.
Now this 'other brother'... will not allow him to visit, unless I come too.
The reason being so I can 'change' him as necessary.
It was not like we went there a lot before.... but now it is going to be IMPOSSIBLE.
Another brother will not lift off the 'toilet frame' himself when he visits us, as to him it is disgusting !!
If I am honest I don't really like thier visits they do make ... not any more.
The conversation is really difficult and pretty vague.
Despite this, I stay all 'happy and upbeat'... for the visits that 'the in-laws' do come over for.
Can't and won't let them get me down.
When ever a visit from anyone is over... my husband says...
"What was the point of them coming?" ...
I'm beginning to ask myself the EXACT same question!!
Why I ask, did they have the time when he was dying, and not now?
As for 'friends' ... they have drifted off as well, and like family rarely ring... if at all.
I can't even get family to ring..... it's so sad, it's not for want of asking.
I don't know how many more years??? / months we have of conversation.
Do all AZ patiens 'eventually' lose speech?
Family
'next to never' ask me how I am, or how I am coping, and if on the rare occasion that they 'do' ask of me, and I 'begin to tell them', they make an excuse and walk away before I have had time to tell them.
This will always be the case for me and MANY others.
We all know it should not be like this.
Not that I am religious in any way, but I hope that if there is a God, he will be watching them all very closely... what goes around... comes around.
Take Care,
DaisyG.