Alzheimers request.......a poem in memory of my Dad who died last night.

Discussion in 'After dementia — dealing with loss' started by keywest67, Nov 25, 2014.

  1. keywest67

    keywest67 Registered User

    Mar 19, 2012
    169
    Coventry
    You may have seen this before but it was sent to me today and it feels like it's my Dad speaking this to me so here goes .....


    Do not ask me to remember
    Don't try to make me understand
    Let me rest and know your with me
    Kiss my cheek and hold my hand

    I'm confused beyond your concept
    I'm sad and sick and lost
    All I know is that I need you
    To be with me at all cost

    Do not loose your patience with me
    Do not scold or curse or cry
    I can't help the way I'm acting
    I can't be different though I try

    Just remember that I need you
    That the best of me is gone
    Please don't fail to stand beside me
    Love me till my life is gone.

    RIP Dad, love you forever xx
     
  2. CollegeGirl

    CollegeGirl Registered User

    Jan 19, 2011
    9,525
    North East England
    This choked me up. I'm so sorry to hear of your beloved dad's death, please accept my condolences.
     
  3. Pickles53

    Pickles53 Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    2,474
    Radcliffe on Trent
    So beautiful keywest. Thank you for posting this.
     
  4. TinaT

    TinaT Registered User

    Sep 27, 2006
    7,095
    Bolton
    A wonderful poem. Thank you so much for sharing this

    xxTinaT
     
  5. jimbo 111

    jimbo 111 Registered User

    Jan 23, 2009
    5,080
    North Bucks
    My sympathy to you and your family on your sad loss
    A wonderful poem
    words that you will treasure forever
    jimbo
     
  6. sleepless

    sleepless Registered User

    Feb 19, 2010
    3,223
    Female
    The Sweet North
    I had seen this poem before, but reading it now, with my dear husband so much further on, it has brought tears.
    I will keep it where I can read it often, (alongside Compassionate Communication for the Memory Impaired) and hope it helps me to be more patient with him.
    Thank you for posting the poem, I hope it has helped you too.
     
  7. kingmidas1962

    kingmidas1962 Registered User

    Jun 10, 2012
    3,537
    Female
    South Gloucs
    I loved this poem too - all I could do for my dad at the end was just be there. I hope he knew.

    Huge condolences xxx

    Sent from my HTC One_M8 using Talking Point mobile app
     
  8. keywest67

    keywest67 Registered User

    Mar 19, 2012
    169
    Coventry
    Thankyou for your kind words, I do think that ultimately with this horrendous and unpredictable disease ,in the end the only thing you can do for your loved ones is be there for them, my Dad went from displaying first signs of dementia probably 4 years ago, he then had a mild heart attack and they said his blood pressure had gone so low starved oxygen to his brain, he came round with severe Alzheimer's, went went through hell until he eventually went on ebixa and we had him back to a functioning level for 12 months which I am so grateful for but after that his decline was rapid with several it UTI,s and strokes rendering him bedbound and unable to feed, toilet, talk........what heartbreak we have had.........I am relieved he is at peace but I will forever miss the Man my Dad was, kind, funny, loving family man, it's a comfort to know my TP friends are there thankyou x
     
  9. Lou99

    Lou99 Registered User

    Apr 24, 2011
    35
    So sorry to hear about your lovely dad - wishing you strength at this awful time - you sound like you were an amazing support to him. I bury my mum tomorrow - so sad and angry , but they are now at peace .... Lou x ps your forum name made me smile - I remember a wonderful dinner with my mum in a little restaurant called Louie's backyard in key west - beautiful place ....
     
  10. keywest67

    keywest67 Registered User

    Mar 19, 2012
    169
    Coventry
    Thankyou for your very kind words, sending you hugs and strength for today xxx
    Yes I love Keywest a very beautiful place, keep those happy memories of your Mum coming, that's what I am trying to do and block out the horrors faced over the past few years with Dad, as we all know it's time we need, at least both at rest now x
     
  11. Fastwalker

    Fastwalker Registered User

    Apr 27, 2010
    178
    Tyne and Wear
    What a lovely poem. It made me think that I am so glad that I tried to help my mum as much as possible. Perhaps she knew I was there in the last weeks when she was so poorly. I took her out the first summer she was in the home to National Trust properties and to the coast. I took her to a local carvery which we used to go to before she went into the home and later to a nice garden centre where she had the frothy coffee the home didn't do and lovely scones.
    I think I will go there today. The funeral is Thursday.
     
  12. jan.s

    jan.s Registered User

    Sep 20, 2011
    7,352
    Such a moving poem. Thank you for sharing it.
     
  13. loza

    loza Registered User

    Jul 4, 2013
    22
    Death Certificate

    How did other people get on with cause of death on the certificate, because of mum's advanced dementia at 77 I wanted it put down as the cause of death, as 'end stage dementia' for people looking back in years to come, well you would I had asked for something out of the ordinary, I had to talk to the coroner who was unsure whether to do a Post mortem ( she had been in care for 22 months) and knew she had problems for the last 15 years, we had to have Dyspagia as contributing factor....it seems very odd when Dementia has been treated with drugs for the last 5 years!!
     
  14. Fastwalker

    Fastwalker Registered User

    Apr 27, 2010
    178
    Tyne and Wear
    Cause of death for my mum was a chest infection (the GP said she had been responding well to it). The secondary cause was mixed dementia and something that I looked up as being heart failure. I cant argue but I would have thought it was the dementia that caused her to stop eating and get so weak that she succumbed to a chest infection.
     
  15. keywest67

    keywest67 Registered User

    Mar 19, 2012
    169
    Coventry
    Hi
    Cause of death for Dad was chest infection but he had a number of strokes which stopped him being able to swallow and ultimately this is what caused the chest infection.
    I believe Dad had vascular dementia as well as the Alzheimer's which caused the strokes and his rapid decline............his funeral is 12th Dec
     

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