Like Izzy, I care for my husband at home, (13 years on from diagnosis of Alzheimers' in our case.)
I think Izzy would agree that we (and others) are fortunate compared to some in that our spouses are easy-going, and placid, accepting of care and able to be looked after comparatively easily.
That's not to say it is not a 24/7 commitment, and neither is it any less heart-breaking to lose the support and companionship of a loved one, but when the person with dementia is less demanding it does make life easier and keeps open possibilities such as holidays, respite, moving home etc. that are unthinkable for many who have lived with the condition for far less time.
Reading some of the posts on here my heart goes out to those whose loved ones have challenging behaviours and disruptive sleep patterns, and I am grateful every single day that in our case this has not been so severe.
I looked after John for nearly 12 years from diagnosis, but spent the last 2 years, sleeping on a 2 seater settee, opposite the kitchen door. I live in a bungalow, but that way, I was alerted when John switched the kitchen light on, and started his midnight "cooking". In his case, it meant lighting the burners and putting tea towels on them, followed by fires.
He would also wake me, several times, every night, and ask what time the plane was, if I was "with child", why were other people in his "ward" (his bedroom), and, of course, his favourite question "is it Thursday?". But his double incontinence and violence only became a problem in the last few months, whereas some poor folk on here have experienced both those in a relatively short time, since diagnosis.
I was also fortunate that I could afford to pay for a few hours at a Day Centre, every day except Sunday, which meant I could have a sleep. Without that little break, I don't think I'd have lasted the course.