Alzheimers and coronavirus

Cabbie41

New member
Mar 30, 2020
1
Hi, We live in Ipswich, we have no family, We are 79 and 86 in age. My husband is 86. He cannot understand why he can't go to the shops to get certain foods he likes. I know they don't have any at the moment. He is shouting all the time at present which is really upsetting for me. He is going to the shops tomorrow he says. We have isolated ourselves. We have plenty of frozen food but that's not what hecwsnts. How can I cope with the shouting? I am worrued.
 

Bunpoots

Volunteer Host
Apr 1, 2016
4,856
Nottinghamshire
Welcome from me too @Cabbie41

Lots of people are having problems with their person with dementia not understanding that they have to stay in. A piece of advice I’ve seen is to never say “No” to a person with dementia but instead say “Yes but” and then explain why whatever can’t be done.

This might give you some ideas of how to respond

https://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/threads/compassionate-communication-with-the-memory-impaired.30801/ .

and as Cat27 says call the police if you feel unsafe - they are used to dealing with such situations kindly.
 

Shedrech

Volunteer Moderator
Dec 15, 2012
9,310
Yorkshire
hello @Cabbie41
a warm welcome from me too
maybe email your GP and explain your circumstances, ask if your husband's meds can be tweaked or something introduced to help him settle ... say it's not good for him to have high levels of anxiety and anger and it's putting you both at risk should his temper get the better of him

can you leave him be when he's like this at times, so you 'do some chores' in another room ... and don't try to explain, discuss or argue ... try "Yes, and ...." if you reply adding what you really want him to do, then say you have to nip to the loo first, to give you space

if he's saying he'll go out tomorrow, agree, say that's a good idea and we can treat ourselves to some cake (or whayever he likex) today .... each day use 'tomorrow' and hope he goes along

just in case, have your mobile with you at all times and a room to go to which has a lock on the door and, if possible, a means to get out of the house ... call for help if you feel threatened

keep posting, it helps to let off steam here
 

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