Alzheimer’s, computer virus, new baby and other problems

Barry

Registered User
Oct 14, 2006
1,898
0
77
Indonesia
Hi everyone

Sorry I’ve not been on Talking Point for the past three weeks the reason being that I got caught out by an E-mail attachment virus that I honestly thought was from my new publisher as I was expecting UPS post in respect of my books, and what’s even more bewildering is that when I went to download the UPS attachment my computers antivirus said (No threats detected) but how wrong I was as the moment I downloaded and opened the attachment the computer system went haywire with pop-ups and critical warnings but it was to late and the complete system crashed which has taken the computer shop a long time to clear and clean up the system, then when I did get the computer back I found that although the computer was working OK for some reason I couldn’t connect to the internet so it was back to the computer shop again, 3 days later I collected the computer in the understanding that the problem had been sorted out but when I reconnected it again “with yet more confusion” it still would not connect to the internet… so I did a diagnostic check myself only to find that the modem had not been de-activated in the CPU so in the end and to Sumi’s relief the owner of the shop said that as it was causing me so much distress and anxiety he would came to our house and sort it out which was done on Friday afternoon and at last I can be back on line… all I will add here is to say that not having the computer for three weeks has been like having my daily brain activity medication withdrawn, so a word to the wise if you receive an E-mail and attachment that says (Your UPS postal delivery) I would suggest viewing it with caution and deleting it…

When this happened my stepdaughter sent a text message for me to another friend of mine in the UK who I asked to pass on the information about me being offline to Norrms which he kindly posted about here on Talking Point so that would all know.

Not only that the fact is that the past few months have been nothing but problems after problems that all seem to have descended onto my shoulders at the same time, it all started at the beginning of February when I had to fill-in all the UK government pension forms (30 pages) myself and by hand which caused me a great deal of confusion and stress but I managed to get it done in the end and sent back to the pensions department with all the accompanying documents they wanted to sight for authenticity, also at this time we had an insurance policy that was due to be paid out to us and was told it would only take 2-3 weeks but it never materialized and despite numerous phone calls to the company all we kept getting was excuses and delaying tactics which went on until the end of March, then when Sumi phoned them again and I could hear the conversation and yet more excuses for the delay I got so infuriated that I started to shout angry verbal abuse down the phone which again caused me a lot of stress but two days later we finally got the money due to us which had taken them over two months to complete…

Then on Friday 8th April my stepdaughter gave birth to her first child which had been causing Sumi and me a lot of pre-worry as the hospital had said it might have to be a cesarean birth but in the event it was all OK and a natural birth so we are now the very proud grandparents of a little girl named “Fira” but even this had caused me a lot of stress and anxiety the reason being that I couldn’t sleep on the Thursday evening worrying about Yuni and baby, and then at 5am on the Friday my son-in-law Hendra walked through the door carrying empty water bottles, I said what’s wrong, why have you come home? To which he said to get ‘Water’ I said what the hell are you talking about you can by bottled water outside the hospital it’s not expensive and at this point something inside me snapped and I went into a rage of utter verbal abuse and throwing the empty bottles out the door and shouting at him that he should be at the hospital by Yuni’s bedside reassuring her that all will be OK and that it was time he grew up and realized he was soon the be a father with more responsibilities, I know I said a lot, lot more but exactly what I cant recall… anyway he left back to the hospital with his tail between his legs, then about ten minutes later I had a phone call from Sumi asking where is Hendra as the doctor needed him to sign papers so he could give Yuni injections to induce labor as she was having a difficult birth… the panic, agitation, and any rationality were building up in me and I was utterly lost in anxiety, then at 8-50am Sumi phoned me and said that Yuni had just given birth without any problems to a beautiful daughter of exactly 3Kg… so I got changed and headed of to the hospital alone…

When I got to the hospital Yuni was still in the delivery room being bathed but both mother and baby were OK which was the most important thing especially as we had been told there was the possibility that it might need to be a caesarean delivery but in the event and thanks to God it was a natural birth, but I was still shacking like a jelly since hospitals out here are nothing like at home and all over the walls of the maternity area there are signs and graphs openly displaying the new birth mortality rate that is very high most of which is due to caesarean birth so you can imagine our concern… Hendra was in the new births room as he had to keep a watchful eye on ‘Fira’ as out here it’s not unknown for babies to be switched and sometimes even just disappear!!! Which suffice it to say I won’t say anymore about that on here?

Sumi and I went to see Hendra and Fira and I remembered to apologize but he said “no problem I understand you worry” anyway Yuni, Fira, Hendra and Sumi stayed at the hospital until they all came home on late the Saturday afternoon so I had 3 days and 2 nights at home alone but I think I managed OK with my meals and medications.

Once they were back home I asked about babies name and the meaning which out here is extremely important, the full name that Hendra has given baby which Sumi has since explained has been given as a mark of respect to ‘ME’ is (Maghfiratus Zidni) or ‘FIRA’ which comes from an Arabic translation in the Holy Koran that means (Father I’m sorry, forgive me my stupidity) so you can imagine just how humble ‘yet proud’ this has made me feel…

Well it’s now 8 days since Fira was born and she is growing and changing day by day but is sleeping well though the night and has a good set of lungs when she’s hungry, Yuni is OK and now walking better as she needed to have stitches after the birth so it must be extremely uncomfortable until they’ve dissolved which is something a man can know nothing about! At the moment Sumi’s mother is proudly sitting outside cuddling Fira which is her 6th great-grandchild and letting her breath in the early morning air, we know that she loves all her grandchildren and great-grandchildren but ‘Yuni and Fira’ have a special place in her heart as it was Sumi’s mother that raised Yuni after Sumi left her first husband and returned home when Yuni was only 6 months old so their is a strong bond between them and not only that as her great grandchild will be around her every day.

Ever since Yuni and Fira came home there has been a daily flow of visitors to the house brining gifts and last Sunday 10 of Yuni’s friends all came to visit at the same time (4pm) which is my worst time of the day with the Sundowning so I found it to be very noisy and confusing and a bit to much for me to handle so had to go into the bedroom as I was getting very anxious… I’ve cuddled Fira myself but I must confess it scares me as I’m aware of just how much my condition has deteriorated over the past two months with all the problems, I now seem to be constantly agitated, shacking, anxious, and in a depth of confusion so I’ve told Sumi and Yuni they mustn’t leave me alone with Fira not even for a second, to be very honest I now feel that any resilient bounce back to my old-self has been overstretched and the dementia has taken a tighter hold on me…

So as you can imagine the past few months have all been a bit too much for my mind and body to cope with which has had a serious affect on my condition which I can tell has sharply deteriorated and I might have to ease up on some of my Talking Point, and other website activities, don’t misunderstand I’m not saying that I’m giving up fighting the illness it’s just that at the moment all the fight has been drained out of me… and what’s more it’s all had a weighty affect on Sumi as she’s not known what best to do to help me and had to suffer my malcontent for two months yet handled the situation with immense resilience… the other problem that I must now get use to is that with a new baby in the house all my once daily routines naturally had to be reshuffled as the priority must be with new life, I’m also having to deal with all the differences in culture, customs and traditions that revolve round a new baby which are nothing like the UK, and if anyone had told me that having Alzheimer’s and a new baby in the house could be extremely confusing for me and intensify my agitation and anxiousness I would never have believed them but the fact is that’s exactly what’s happened as I seem to be in constant fear that someone will drop her, on top of that in 30 days time as per (Tradition) we will have a big thanks giving celebration for ‘FIRA’ with over 100 guests in our house but I will tell you all about that once its over…

My love and best wishes to you all
Barry, Sumi and of course granddaughter Baby Fira…

Ps: I have a lot to catch up on here on TP but will slowly get it done ;);)
Fira born 8 April 2011 011-1.jpg
 

Christin

Registered User
Jun 29, 2009
5,038
0
Somerset
Hello Barry, congratulations on the birth. I can imagine how proud you are, and how worried you were before.

Thanks for the warning about the attachment too! Something for us all to watch out for.

Best wishes.
 

sunray

Registered User
Sep 21, 2008
1,486
0
East Coast of Australia
congratulations

I want to congratulate you and Sumi on the safe delivery of baby grand daughter Fira. I don't know the word for grandfather that baby Fira will use but want to reassure you that you will be much loved and she will accept you as you are just as our grandchildren do Ray. To them he is just "Pa" and as such to be loved.

Computer woes are the pits. The computer is my lifeline to the outside world when other matters, like looking after my husband, keep me too much at home.

Barry, as much as you can just relax and let the baby take over your life and your household. May there be much joy for you ahead.

Sue.
 

Barry

Registered User
Oct 14, 2006
1,898
0
77
Indonesia
Many thanks for your lovely words Sunray, by the way out here to Fira I will be known as (Kakek) meaning ‘Grandpa’:D
Barry
 

scarletpauline

Registered User
Jul 19, 2009
5,080
0
85
Leicestershire
Congratulations Kakek

Dear Barry, now that the worry of the birth is over and you have cuddled your baby granddaughter, who is adorable by the way :) you must relax and probably your condition will improve, it was surely all the stress you have been under that has made things seem worse. Sending love to you all, Pauline xxx
 

Helen33

Registered User
Jul 20, 2008
14,697
0
Morning Barry,

Baby Fira is beautiful and I hope you enjoy being Kakek:)

You have been through a huge period of disturbance and I can only hope that things settle down significantly in order for you to stabilise and find your routine again. I know how I feel when I have computer problems. I can't imagine having Alzheimers disease and having to cope with the stress of having to get it sorted!!!

Wishing you well.

Love