Some of you may not have read my post yesterday about the 3 choices my family were asked to make with regards to care. I have started a new thread today because I don't want this experience to be missed by others because I think it really highlights that you have to always be aware that you are not receiving the full story from doctors, or the doctors themselves may not be considering the situation properly when they give you your options... Yesterday my family was given 3 choices to make by the doctors, to recap: Well that determination had me bawling my eyes out, for the 700th time in the last 10yrs feeling like this was it, we really were going to lose him this time...whole family was distraught... But today, Mum goes to the hospital ready to tell them we were going with Option 3...and the doctor (the one who she had to go to regarding setting things up for the operation) gave us a fourth option. Option 4: Consider Dad as man, not a swallowing machine, remove the nil by mouth orders given by the speech pathologist and just keep caring for him as we always have been. The doctor told us he may or may not get over this current infection, it is quite possible that he could contract pneumonia and that will kill him, because of the problem where he may swallow things into his lungs instead of his stomach, but he possibly could beat this current infection and if we look after his oral care (which the home had not been doing) to reduce the risks of bacterial infection, he may carry on for quite some time yet as he has been for the last few years anyways. What a bloody relief! This 4th option although not much prettier sits so much better with us. The right to die living is what we want for Dad...we've always been of that opinion. We'd far rather he die from living life than live where all the pleasures in life are taken away because he's too fragile to handle them. Thats also why we decided to take him out of the home, (not an option for everyone - sometimes care at home is just too hard) because we wanted him to be around family, be in a fresh smelling house, with love, noise, laughter and life around him. I can't believe there was a fourth option and nobody mentioned it to us yesterday! What if this doctor had been on leave and we didn't know there was a fourth option? What if he had had another doctor who also followed the same beliefs as yesterday's doctors?? I truly want to give today's doctor the biggest bear hug there ever was!!!