• Expert Q&A: Rare dementias - Tues 3 March, 3-4pm

    Our next expert Q&A will be on the topic of rare dementias. It will be hosted by Nikki and Seb from Rare Dementia Support. If you have any questions about rare dementias, they will be here to answer them on Tuesday 3 March between 3-4pm.

    You can either post your question >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.

Alternatives to Care Home

ColinWR5

Registered User
Jul 21, 2003
2
Worcester
My widowed 89-year-old physically fit mother has been diagnosed with moderate Alzheimer’s. From the time that we first noted memory problems 5 years ago my youngest brother has lived with her and cared for her. The situation has recently reached the point that it was unsafe for her to be left all day whilst he was at work and he was close to breaking point due to all the typical problems that the disease causes, including being very difficult.

There are no other family members who are able to care full time for her so it appeared to me that the only option was to place her in a properly approved Care Home. I am now coming under a lot of pressure from other, mostly older, members of the family that “your mother should be cared for in her own home not pushed off elsewhere.” Does anyone have any experience of following that option i.e. employing a full time carer – is it practical, how much does it cost? Any other suggestions as an alternative to a Care Home?
 

Angela

Registered User
May 28, 2003
151
Wales
Hi Colin
In my experience those who suffer from dementia DO benefit from staying in their own home for as long as is possible.
To move home is stressful for anyone, if one has lived in their home for a long period of time, with alot of older memories, it is difficuly enough. To move a person with memory problems and confusion is harder on that person.
However, there is a time when the persons need are better suited with 24hour nursing care, and this decision will be yours and your brothers following the advice of the professionals involved, and not by other people.
The following Society page should help with the questions you have raised.
http://www.alzheimers.org.uk/Caring_for_someone_with_dementia/Residential_and_nursing_care/info_choicesincare.htm
 

Charlie

Registered User
Apr 1, 2003
161
Alternatives to care home...

Hi Colin,

I can't give you any direct contacts but hope someone will pipe up with some more advice.

However, I'd just like to reiterate Angela's fine response, if you can avoid it don't be pushed. There is a benefit for being at home for as long as possible in most cases. If you can get help for day care go for it. The social services should be able to give you some help with and it would be worth phoning the Alzheimer's help line for some direct advice for you are.

Even getting someone in to do the cleaning, meals etc will help and take the pressure of the primary carer. I really think it is in the goverments interest to keep people in their own environment for as long as possible, so make sure your mother gets all the help she is entitled to!

Kind Regards
Charlie
 
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ColinWR5

Registered User
Jul 21, 2003
2
Worcester
Many thanks Angela & Charlie for your comments. Unfortunately my mother has reached the point of needing 24/7 care and my brother is unable to cope any longer. I have talked to various professional who agree that it is best to keep an Alzheimer’s sufferer at home for as long as practical but if it comes to the point of needing to employ someone to do this then a properly run Care Home is the best option. Some relatives try to load the “guilt” when this course of action becomes necessary, I was looking to see if there were any other options.

Regards

Colin