• All threads and posts regarding Coronavirus COVID-19 can now be found in our new area specifically for Coronavirus COVID-19 discussion.

    You can directly access this area >here<.

Almost at Wits End

June 1947

Registered User
Oct 22, 2015
Good Evening,
I am new to Talking Point My husband was diagnosed with Alzheimers in early 2012.
We moved back from France last year as things were deteriorating with his health.
Things have been getting difficult, although he is in a day care centre 3 days a week
which he has got used to. Also have a carer twice a week.
We arranged for him to go into respite care for two weeks (this was his second visit)
while I took a much needed break. He was slowly becoming aggressive towards myself and family. My two daughters visited him while I was away and knew he was unsettled
but were not told he was aggressive to the staff, kicking, hitting and spitting.
I have been married for 43 years and he would be horrified if he knew what was happening.
To cut the story short, he was admitted to hospital as he wasn't eating or drinking and was sleeping a lot, this was on Tuesday. The hospital suspected a UTI and started anti-biotics. I went and visited today, they had taken more blood and urine and removed the drip saying he was well and was ready to go home, or back to the care home! All this was just a deterioration of the disease. I was so shocked I burst into tears as my husband looked so frail, is now doubly incontinent apparently (he wasn't on admission to the care home) and is being spoon fed, when before he was feeding himself.
I have an appointment with social services tomorrow. Of course I want him home as soon as possible. Has anyone else had a similar experience with this vile disease.

June 1947


Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
Good morning and welcome to TP.

I'm so sorry to read of the problems you and your husband are facing. I hope the meeting with the Social Worker goes well. UTIs can have a devastating effect on anyone with dementia. Your husband shouldn't be discharged without an appropriate plan for care at home. I hope that is what the SW is going to discuss with you.


Registered User
Sep 13, 2014
Hi, my father has just come out of hospital after pneumonia and a UTI. It has really knocked him about. The first week he came out he slept all the time, was barely eating or drinking, could hardly walk and was doubly in continent. To be honest there were times in that first week that we thought he was going to leave us....that's how bad he was. He has now started to improve and go back to how he was before but it has taken some time.

I know what you mean about being shocked at how frail they are. You must express your concerns to the hospital though.

I hope things improve for you soon xx

Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point