Almost 2 years have passed.

Discussion in 'After dementia — dealing with loss' started by Prague09, May 27, 2011.

  1. Prague09

    Prague09 Registered User

    Jul 22, 2008
    174
    essex
    I used this site many times when I was caring for my late Dad. It will be 2 years on 12/06/11 since Dad pased, seems a long time ago and in the main I am getting on with life.
    I sometimes wish I was allowed one telephone call to the next world to tell Dad how much we loved and cared about him, I am sure he didnt know how much we did for him out of love, and I fear that due to the illness he passed feeling alone and abandoned (which he wasnt).
    He had an awful ending due to poor Health Care.
    I will never forget those last 3 months of his life.
    I eventually wrote an A4 page of complaint/recommendations to the Trust concerned, made me feel a little better.
    Think its the brutality of the disease that's so hard to deal with and the subsequent stealing of our loved ones minds.
    With my Mum (god bless her) I am quite able to accept her passing (I miss her loads), but Dad's never. don't think I will ever find peace about it.
    Best Wishes to you all.
    Prague09
     
  2. Jo1958

    Jo1958 Registered User

    Mar 31, 2010
    3,724
    Yorkshire
    Prqague09, hello
    I am so sorry you are suffering so after almost two years, this awful disease takes so much from us all and those who suffer so suffer so and those caring are left so helpless.
    My heart goes out to you as you carry on your journey trying to come to terms with your wonderful Dad and how much you cared and loved him.
    Take good care of yourself, with kind regards from Jo
     
  3. maryw

    maryw Registered User

    Nov 16, 2008
    3,805
    Surrey
    Hello Prague

    I remember you and you telling us about your Dad. Just wanted to say I understand the feelings you expressed in your post; I often think of wanting to tell my Mum how very much she was loved. I too have problems with memories of the last few months, similarly due to poor care. I too wrote the complaint and followed it up (took almost a year). I agree, it really changes your life. But I know how much my Mum cared that I was happy (she told me that many years ago on a previous hospital admission when she thought she was on her death bed "remember you're to be happy"). So I know I can't change what happened in the past, but I can enjoy life in her honour and memory. I "talk" to her often and share the good things with her, which I know would make her smile.

    Two years is nothing really after the length of time you knew your Dad. I hope you find time to do the things that you enjoy and gain pleasure from your life because I'm sure you did the very best for your Dad xxxxxxx
     
  4. Prague09

    Prague09 Registered User

    Jul 22, 2008
    174
    essex
    Thank You

    Bless You for your reply's. XX
     

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