Alleged assault

[yoyo]

Mum is CHC funded with an additional 6 hours a day one to one in a nursing home. the one to one is provided by an outside agency. The girl is a lovely calm and engaging who is there most days and does activities etc. when distressed and anxious the other day mum told a member of staff (when the 1 to 1 went for a glass of water) that she was slapped and choked. (no marks). The home have reported it and the police are involved now.
What am I to expect, yesterday when i went in the nurse and manager were in a meeting and when i tried to speak later the whole staff team were in a meeting together. Today the manager is out of the office and the nurse is a different one. Are we to expect this or should someone be involving us as the family in proceedings? it seems very poor communication for me to have to keep asking for info.
It is my worst nightmare, in some ways I wish it was the person because now everyone is afraid of mum. a holistic therapist I pay to go in has declined for fear it happens to her and she can't practice. I expect things to settle and protocols put in place.
Are there any guidelines to read? I'd be grateful of any information.

 

[Essie]

Oh gosh yoyo, how awful, in every respect. I am assuming you don't think there was an assault? I'm sure the home will say that they were just following procedure in calling the police and in part they are probably just covering their own backs but it's a shame they didn't speak to you first and discuss it all - it seems to have got out of hand very quickly.

They should of course be keeping you completely in the loop - although again they may say that some of the meetings they are having are for staff only but still you should have had a proper sit down meeting with the home manager by this point, both to discuss what's happened and what's going to happen - are they going to press charges against this girl - I'm presuming Mum wouldn't be considered able to? In the face of no physical evidence and given Mum's condition I cannot see that that would be a sensible course of action but again they may just want to cover themselves.

I would phone the home now and arrange a meeting with the manager for tomorrow at whatever time she can manage (if you're flexible) and explain that 'No' simply isn't an option. At the very least a telephone consultation over what's happened and what's next.

With reference to other's now refusing to attend Mum for fear of being accused could you have a contract drawn up, with the home's involvement, that no action is to be taken in the future if Mum makes such allegations until you have been consulted and consent to whatever action is proposed? Yo could then show it to outside workers to reassure them that a similar fate won't await them.

Huge sympathies yoyo an awful mess to be embroiled in.

Sorry, edited just to add you should have a contract from the home that covers all their procedures and that should detail how complaints are dealt with, by whom and in what time frame - if you can't find it there should be an abbreviated version somewhere in Mum's room.

 

[yoyo]

Oh gosh yoyo, how awful, in every respect. I am assuming you don't think there was an assault? I'm sure the home will say that they were just following procedure in calling the police and in part they are probably just covering their own backs but it's a shame they didn't speak to you first and discuss it all - it seems to have got out of hand very quickly.

They should of course be keeping you completely in the loop - although again they may say that some of the meetings they are having are for staff only but still you should have had a proper sit down meeting with the home manager by this point, both to discuss what's happened and what's going to happen - are they going to press charges against this girl - I'm presuming Mum wouldn't be considered able to? In the face of no physical evidence and given Mum's condition I cannot see that that would be a sensible course of action but again they may just want to cover themselves.

I would phone the home now and arrange a meeting with the manager for tomorrow at whatever time she can manage (if you're flexible) and explain that 'No' simply isn't an option. At the very least a telephone consultation over what's happened and what's next.

With reference to other's now refusing to attend Mum for fear of being accused could you have a contract drawn up, with the home's involvement, that no action is to be taken in the future if Mum makes such allegations until you have been consulted and consent to whatever action is proposed? Yo could then show it to outside workers to reassure them that a similar fate won't await them.

Huge sympathies yoyo an awful mess to be embroiled in.

Sorry, edited just to add you should have a contract from the home that covers all their procedures and that should detail how complaints are dealt with, by whom and in what time frame - if you can't find it there should be an abbreviated version somewhere in Mum's room.

some good ideas here thank you so much, manager is off till monday so not much hope of meeting until then. its not like mum to make an accusation like this, but she no recollection of it anyway, thank you so much I'll let you know what happens x

 

[susy]

Could a camera not be used here? This would protect everyone. If your mum accuses someone and it's not true then it could be proved that no one assaulted your mum, on the other hand if someone did yet left no marks the evidence is there and that would be used to prevent that person from abusing again.