1. Expert Q&A: Benefits - Weds 23 October, 3-4pm

    Our next expert Q&A will be on the topic of benefits. It will be hosted by Lauren from our Knowledge Services team. She'll be answering your questions on Wednesday 23 October between 3-4pm.

    You can either post your question >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.

  1. MrsMoose

    MrsMoose Registered User

    Oct 1, 2014
    152
    Perhaps because of my father-in-law's advanced age his deterioration seems to be progressing rather quickly.

    He'd forgotten that my husband was visiting today.
    He'd forgotten the name of the carer ('The Woman.').
    He'd forgotten that because the carer comes late on Fridays that the plan for him to be taken to the barber - an appointment he'd completely forgotten when my husband turned up - had never been practical.
    He'd forgotten what he had in his fridge, so the items he said he needed - eggs, cheese - etc were actually surplus to requirements.
    He'd forgotten a previous conversation about money and said he needed £500 cash. ('What do you need it for? We agreed on £200.That will last you for 7 weeks.' 'But I need £500.')

    It's going to get worse isn't it?
     
  2. Tin

    Tin Registered User

    May 18, 2014
    4,826
    UK
    Its like a punch in the stomach. Over the last few weeks I've noticed a few not so subtle changes in my mum. At the moment she is pottering in the kitchen just moving things around. Its hard to witness, but what else can we do? Chin up and stay strong.
     
  3. Kezzamac

    Kezzamac Registered User

    Apr 28, 2015
    31
    Somerset
    Im so sorry Mrs Moose, but it's going to get much worse. This is just the start.
    But you're in the right place for help and advice.
    The most important bit of advice I can give you is be patient with your father-in-law. It took me a while to realise that continuously correcting my mother-in-law when she forgot things or when she started to talk nonsense just made her more upset and me more frustrated. Now I try to distract her or comfort her when she's confused and distressed.
    I know that things will get worse, but for me, getting frustrated and angry with what she says and does just makes for more stress. I have to continuously remind myself that it's dementia talking and not the lovely, intelligent lady that we all know and love.
    Having read lots of threads on here, I know we are in the mid stages and things will get significantly worse, but I also know there are lots of people out there in the same boat and I can lean on them for support when things get tough.
    We're here if you need us
     
  4. Kjn

    Kjn Registered User

    Jul 27, 2013
    5,835
    Mrsmoose it's so hard but as kezzamac said , you are in the best place here for so much help and advice, there is always someone here with an answer ,advice , something to brighten your mood or just a big hug. Xx
     
  5. MrsMoose

    MrsMoose Registered User

    Oct 1, 2014
    152
    Thanks both of you.

    I think that as my father-in-law is 94, my partner and I find ourselves hoping that physically he'll just stop, before his mind goes entirely...

    Though essentially wishing that someone will die, feels rather mean.
     
  6. Kjn

    Kjn Registered User

    Jul 27, 2013
    5,835
    MrsMoose don't worry , we all understand what you mean on here. X
     
  7. RedLou

    RedLou Registered User

    Jul 30, 2014
    1,162
    Mrs M - I have the same feelings regarding my father. When I think about he himself dying, I weep. But I want the dementia to die. I don't want this half-life - this parasite in his brain - to go on. I don't want his suffering to continue.
     
  8. Summerheather

    Summerheather Registered User

    Feb 22, 2015
    160
    MrsMoose, don't worry about it - that's rather mild to what I posted when I first came here, all I can say is thankgod for TP, here most people know what you mean.

    Myself, I think they've cured so many cancers that they've forgotten all about AD and all these people they've cured some of them will go onto have this ugly disease that they've barely spent anything on for a cure.
     
  9. opaline

    opaline Registered User

    Nov 13, 2014
    182
    Organ donation

    Read an item on here about a sufferer's brain being donated for research into the disease, I would be interested to hear points of view?
     
  10. 2jays

    2jays Registered User

    Jun 4, 2010
    11,604
    West Midlands
    I know Sylvia's husband donated his brain for research and I understand that the process was handled with great respect. Maybe when she's back on line she may be able to give you more advice


    Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
     
  11. Lindy50

    Lindy50 Registered User

    Dec 11, 2013
    5,302
    Cotswolds
    Mrs Moose, my mum is nearly 94, and I do know what you mean. I don't want her to go, I will miss her terribly.....but I do want an end to her worry, confusion, delusions and the rest. It's so difficult :(

    Sending you a hug

    Lindy xx
     
  12. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,597
    Kent
    http://www.alzheimers.org.uk/site/scripts/documents_info.php?documentID=1103

    http://www.alzheimers.org.uk/site/scripts/documents_info.php?documentID=116

    I hope this helps.

    My brain will also be donated for research because monitoring and donation of healthy brains is just as important as monitoring and donation of brains affected by dementia.
     

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