Alan's new pet

[Helen33]

On Friday we were out with a friend and when we've seen this friend before we've noticed that Alan heads straight for a little toy fluffy dog and cuddles it. Anyway on Friday this friend, R, asked if it was o.k. to give it to Alan and I said yes of course.

Anyway since then Alan is either walking round with the dog talking to it gently or he is sitting with the dog in his lap and stroking and talking gently to it. It is wonderful to see and also very sad - mostly wonderful

I said to Alan "it's like it's real isn't it" and he has managed to convey to me since Friday that he knows it's not alive but sometimes he doesn't know it's not alive - he thinks it is. Alan has always had dogs and our last one died just before Christmas last year. At least this one wont drum up vets bills

Love

 

[DianeB]

How sweet. In my Mums home they do doll therphy and its lovely to see the residents caring for these very life like dolls. Mum loves it and what ever makes her happy certainly puts a smile on my face too.

 

[suzanne]

pets

My mum had a dog for 17 yrs as a child and not one since then 2yrs ago we were shopping for imminent arrival of great grandson and we saw a fluffy dog, bought and duly named toby...in times of stress the dog came with us especially into hospital and now we have acquired another called jug [her naming them] and we have also got cat doorstops now, she loves her menagerie and will sit and chat to them. even a fluffy hotwaterbottle gets chatted to, as therapy they are a wonderful tool without any mess!

 

[Grannie G]

Dear Helen.

Although I appreciate the sadness, it`s wonderful Alan can be comforted and amused by this little toy fluffy dog.

Believe me if I thought Dhiren would gain comfort from something like this I`d get him 100.

Love xx

 

[sue38]

My mum and dad have a rather boisterous and real Staffordshire Bull Terrier and my dad is obsessed with him.

Yesterday after my sister and I visited I told my mum that dad had asked about her and the dog .... though not necessarily in that order!

After yesterday's incident the ward staff asked me if my dad had a son as he had been asking for him. I could only think of his grandson, but think now he was talking about the dog!!

I am taking in pictures today of us all (including the dog ) in the hope it will try and calm him.

Helen, I hope Alan continues to get pleasure and comfort from his new pet. I'm not sure if it would work for my dad, he still wants the real thing.

 

[Margarita]

Mums home they do doll therphy

Yes I have also read that it’s very therapeutic to people with dementia to stroke a dog or a cat, have fluffy dogs, Cat, teddy bears

Saying that it’s also very therapeutic for people without dementia to stroke cat dogs, touch , like pottery marking then like children also find it very therapeutic doing finger panting

he knows it's not alive but sometimes he doesn't know it's not alive

That an amazing insight to get from your husband. as I have read and not related to dementia

Dairy's of memories that are sored in our mind or written in a dairy don't really remind the person of the true emotion of any participial juncture, but touch , smell can .

So then I presume from what I have read about dementia , someone with a dementia who loses all memories, are only left with the emotional feeling .

So the feel of the fluffy dog is invoking some positive emotion/ feeling comfort in your husband ( take no notices of me just thinking aloud but I wonder if its the dog that come alive or the true feeling of the emotion its evoking that coming alive.

Believe me if I thought Dhiren would gain comfort from something like this I`d get him 100

You may find this to personal, but does the touch of your hand on Dhiren skin not evoke an emotion of comfort . Not the memories, but the emotional comfort of your part memories that you keep , while Dhiren only keep the emotional feeling .

 

[Helen33]

Thanks everyone

I'll post a picture later of our new family member

wonder if its the dog that come alive or the true feeling of the emotion its evoking that coming alive.

Interesting thought Margarita and I'll keep it in mind. Last night Alan put the dog to bed next to his side of the bed on the floor all wrapped up nicely. This morning I went round and called "Scamp" and Alan said "It doesn't move when you call it" and he looked slightly upset and I wondered whether he thought it had died. So I said "He's waiting for you to pick him up" and Alan did and he was happy again. I wish you could all see the way he handles this little dog - just like one would handle a tiny puppy or a newborn baby

Sylvia - If I thought Dhiren (or anyone else's loved one) would benefit from a fluffy pet - I'd buy them one and post it personally

Love

 

[Helen33]

Here are the pics

View attachment 3701

View attachment 3702

View attachment 3703

Love

 

[Skye]

Helen, what moving pictures! It's incredible what emotions Alan is showing for that little dog.

I bought John a lovely, fluffy red squirrel when he moved into the home -- he shows no interest in it at all!

Love,

 

[Helen33]

Hi Hazel

It's incredible what emotions Alan is showing for that little dog.

I am very surprised myself. When our friend handed it to him he had tears well up in his eyes and we were both very moved by this.

I think I'm learning something every day. I never would have believed it would have the effect on Alan that it has and it just goes to show me that we don't know our loved ones in the same way any more because they are contending with a dreadful illness. I think I will go more for experience in the future - let him have the experience (whatever it might be) and see whether it is beneficial rather than what I know he would have once done or liked.

Love

 

[CYN]

Helen its wonderful that you have found an interest for Alan.

Scamp does look real and to Alan thats what he is. they look so peaceful together.

love Cynthia x x x

 

[Grannie G]

Dear Helen.

Your photos are beautiful and very touching.

Quote Margarita

You may find this to personal, but does the touch of your hand on Dhiren skin not evoke an emotion of comfort . Not the memories, but the emotional comfort of your part memories that you keep , while Dhiren only keep the emotional feeling .
_

_________________

Dhiren is comforted by touch when he is at one with me. But when he doesn`t see me for who I am, he turns away from my touch. It is very upsetting.

 

[Lanie]

So pleased you have found something that is bringing your husband joy, in a disease that is so cruel.
I have heard that cuddly toys are supposed to be good for dementia sufferers, so I'm pleased to see it can work.

Take care.

Lanie

 

[Katie Malarkey]

I'm sitting here blubbing at those lovely photographs!

It's amazing the comfort that those cuddly furry friends give to some of our loved ones..... since mam died, her fluffy little koala-bear who was her companion over many years, has since had it's fair share of cuddles from me too, when I'm feeling in need of a little comfort myself .

A couple of years ago, a 'mobile zoo' visited her NH - all the residents gathered in a circle in the communal lounge awaiting its arrival. When the young lad came in with some boxes and cages, I expected him to pull out fluffy rabbits, a kitten, perhaps a mouse or two??.... not a hint of fluff in sight - there were hissing cockroaches, a grass snake, stick insects and other less than cuddly critters . Guess what? Every resident (and I mean every single resident) there had a smile on their face - a couple of ladies I'd never seen even look up were holding their hands out to stroke the snake, with the happiest look in their eye's I'd seen in 3 years!. Mam had one of the cockroaches on her arm and was telling it that it was such a cute little fellow!. Me - I was cowering in the corner.

Unless I'd witnessed it myself, I wouldn't have believed there'd have been such a wonderful reaction to these creatures (that lasted long after the young lad had packed up and gone).

Whatever gives our loved ones a glimmer of happiness, even if it's for an hour, is worth it's weight in gold.

Love Katie x

 

[daynurse]

how lovely that story is have you thought about getting a older recue dog we have 2 labradors one from the lab rescue centre my mum adores them andthey ecourage her to mobilise more they are so affectionate and love snuggling up on the sofa with us and anyone else who whey think are a pillowx

 

[Helen33]

Hello Daynurse

We've always had rescue dogs but Alan says he doesn't want one and I am glad because I couldn't do with the extra responsibility at the moment. Mind you I always get tempted but it would be too much of a strain on the whole balance of things.
Two family members have just bought new rescue dogs and one came to visit us on Saturday and it is gorgeous. Alan played with it a lot but he seems to prefer his little toy one. Maybe it's because he can talk to it and it doesn't matter whether it understands or not.

Love

 

[heartbroken]

Helen the pic's are lovely Alan looks so happy.
I have found this very intresting because as I type there is a cuddly cat sat looking at me waiting for me to do a collar with Edna's name on it to take tuseday to the hospital for her,
I had brought it for christmas but I am going to give it to her now. I was talking to dad about it thursday he thought it would be a good idea as she has always had cats around her and we was wondering if she was missing her Leo as he always sat on her knee.
When Edna'a sister had ad she walked about holding a doll in the ch
I will let you know if she takes to the cat or throws it back at me

 

[TinaT]

I have fallen in love with the little toy dog myself. He has just the right look of a contented puppy to bring out my mothering instincts, Where can I buy one pleae? How lovely to see the look of care and contentment on your husband's face. Perhaps I could buy one and keep it on Ken's bed. I would be so thrilled if he 'took to it'

xxTinaT

 

[Helen33]

Morning Heartbroken and Tina

Heartbroken, it's worth trying with Edna. It'll either work or it wont - there's no way of telling unless you try. If the worst comes to the worse, you'll have to think up a new christmas present

Tina, I don't know where it was bought because our friend owned it. He always saw it when we visited and made a bee line for it. I will ask her and let you know.

Love

 

[alex]

Hi Helen

Photo's to cherish.

Looks like my mums dog but hers is real and half the size......and at the moment the dog is the most important thing in her life........why?......cos she believes it needs her......and if that keeps her fighting.......well.......who am i to complain .

Love Alex x