Alans future

bclark

Registered User
Feb 15, 2008
68
0
greenhithe kent
hi to everyone, i am at the dilemma at the moment,I have been asked what do i want to do now as to Alans future by the doctor and SS Alan is in an EMI unit has been there 4 weeks, his medication lorezepan, serouquel has helped his agitation, has not had any aggression for a while seems more settled, i am thinking of having him home, i know i am making a rod for my own back, hoping the SS will provide some help, i was offered 3 homes one is full with a waiting list, one not suitable, one i have put Alans name down on the list but most are more advanced then Alan, so am not sure whether to go to that one now,i will be visiting the home again with my daughter, seeing the doctor tomorrow. bclark:)
 

BeckyJan

Registered User
Nov 28, 2005
18,971
0
Derbyshire
hoping the SS will provide some help

I realise how difficult this must be for you. Please make sure you have positive help from SS before making your decision. If you do not have a commitment from them, caring for Alan at home may become impossible.

I took my hubby home in May after several months in hospital and rehab. SS have only provided the very minimum of the promised care. (It has been extremely difficult). So please beware - get it in writing in a care plan.

Good luck Jan
 

Skye

Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
17,000
0
SW Scotland
Hi

It's an awful dilemma, and one I went through a year ago. I still haven't come to term with it.

All I can advise is that you work out carefully how you are going to manage if you have Alan home.

Generally, the best SS package is 3/4 visits a day, to wash, dress and change him (assuming he's incontinent). You will be on your own at night. If Alan is still continent, and sleeps well, that might not be too much of a problem.

If you really want to do it, and think you can, you should have a go. You can always opt for a home later.

But if you have any doubts, then suss out that home. Juhn was one of the fittest when he went into his unit, now he's one of the sickest. Things change so quickly.

No-one can tell you what to do. Just go with your gut feeling. Either way, you'll have regrets!:(

Good luck, and let us know what you decide.

Love,
 

bclark

Registered User
Feb 15, 2008
68
0
greenhithe kent
thank you for your replies, Skye, Alan is not incontinent at the moment, he has the odd accident if you do not remind him where the toilet is, have noticed he seems more tired now, still walking and trying to leave the home i keep the door locked i am worried that the longer he is away from me the less he will know me, i realise this will happen eventually but trying to hang on to the little i have of him now, bclark:(
 

sad nell

Registered User
Mar 21, 2008
3,190
0
bradford west yorkshire
hard choice to make

dear bclarke,I so can understand what you are struggling with , it is so hard to now what is for the best, all i can say is that i brought trev home from assesment ward, he was there 9 months, and decilned rapidly whilst there, went in continent came out doubley incontinent. But i can cope with that , just a routine not always pleasant but managable, It is the mood swings and agression from this once so loving and gentle man that i find hard to deal with, and yes on bad days, i wonder why i was so desperate to have him home, but a smile and a cuddle and i know it was the right decesion, yes life is hell at times but i love him so we will manage, i am now recieving help from crossroads and respite every 6 weeks which i initally refused, but advise you to take any help offered if you bring you husband home, it can be the differnce between succsess and failure. If you do go down that road ,hope it goes well for you both.best wishes Pam