1. Lynn Essex

    Lynn Essex Registered User

    Jul 18, 2008
    My father is in a care home (Residential Special Needs) but they have now said they cannot care for him because of aggressive behaviour. They have cited some instances which we find difficult to believe but have been told they have a right to say they will not longer have him in the home.

    Has anyone else experience of finding another home once someone has been labelled as 'aggressive'?

    Social services are being asked to reassess the situation but as my father is currently covering the cost of his own care they do not seem very interested in his case.

    My mother is worried that they will say she must have him back at home again. She cared for him for five years and physically and mentally cannot cope. This decision by the home is worrying her sick again.
  2. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    Hello Lynn

    I may be wrong but i doubt your mother can be forced to have your father home, especially if he is as aggressive as is said, and all the staff combined cannot manage his behaviour.

    I don`t know the correct procedure for helping your mother to find a suitable home but I`m sure someone will come along very shortly with suggestions.

    Take care xx
  3. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    SW Scotland
    Hi Lynn

    Sorry I've no experience of this either. But if your father is aggressive, and I'd have thought a specialist home would be able to cope with this, I'd think it should be your dad's consultant you should be talking to.

    It may be that he needs to be in an assessment centre for a while so that his medication can be sorted out, and then it will be their responsibility to find a suitable placement for him.

    Have you tried this?
  4. andrear

    andrear Registered User

    Feb 13, 2008
    Hi Lynn
    My dad is also very aggressive although he is still at home with my mum who has cancer.
    Having talked about the situation many a time with both my own GP (who gives me extremly good moral support) and his own GP it is obvious that when mum is no longer here (she has teminal cancer) then if dad is admitted to anywhere he would be so drugged up that he would no longer be a problem (in his current state) as most nursing homes would not be able to tolerate his behaviour.
    I am so sorry that this is happening to you and your family, so please be very careful as to where you allow your dad to go.
    Love AndreaX
  5. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    #5 Margarita, Jul 18, 2008
    Last edited: Jul 18, 2008
    I would of thought that also .

    As when my Mother was showing sights of aggression at day center they did not want her they anymore , but they advice me to see the doctor as they thought my mother may need Ant psychotics drugs to control it . But I was not having my mother put on those type of medication

    So I went to see the Doctor who did a referral to a specialist in dementia at are local hospital that came out to my mother day center to do an assessment on my mother .

    who told the staff that the aggression is to do with changes in the disease. So I came to the conclusion if they could meet my mother challenging behaviors, with out giving her Ant psychotics dugs I would of taken her out of that Day center.

    We work out what was triggering her aggression , so the day center work around it & mum settle down without having to medicate her .

    Don't move your father until an assessment is done on your father mental health & I can't see why they can not do it in the home his in now , rather then having to more him to a ward in a mental health unit in a hospital.

    If Care home can't meet your father challenging behaviors its best to look around for a Nursing home that Can, while his still in the home his in now .

    How aggressive is your father is it physical aggression Or Verbal aggression . if you don't mind me asking ?
  6. inkypink

    inkypink Registered User

    Jan 2, 2008
    i really sympathise with your situation.i work in a specialist care home for dementia, we only have residents that have 'behavioural problems' it really makes me angry when carehomes use the word 'aggressive'as its such a harsh term.your dad has dementia he can't help his behaviour,its his illness.i do need to tell you though that the home are in their right to say he has to go but there is a procedure to follow, they have to give written notice of 28days & as far as i'm aware they are obliged to help look for a more suitable home for him.the social services & cpn (if he has 1) are usually more than willing to help as he would need re-assessing.
    the home i work in specialises in dare i say it!! challenging behaviour so all the staff are trained to deal with the worst situations possible. approach is the key so if carers aren't prepared or are not used to that type of behaviour their reaction to situations can make a resident even more anxious/agitated.
    do you know if there is a trigger to his behaviour,ie:personal care,close contact,noise etc
    is he on meds & if so are they doing their job???
    there is nearly always a reasoning behind the 'aggression' so once thats established the problem can usually be dealt with in the proper way & its more or less an instant turn around.
    as a carer myself i do find it very emotionally & physically challenging at times but i wouldn't do any other job,i feel so much sympathy for families like yours & i do everything i can to make sure my residents have the best care i can possibly give them.

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