Agression

[Reds]

Hi

My husband is 62, has Alzheimer's and unusual behaviour. Today he went to punch me in the face and it was a quick punch but he said it was a joke. He had a mean look on his face and was a shock to me as uncalled for. Would love to believe a joke but still totally unacceptable. He has recently joked in an aggressive way a few times recently but not quite as bad. Thank goodness the punch didn't hit me and he said he knew it wouldn't reach me. I don't think a joke and nor does another family member that was with me but hate the feeling of doubt as want to be fair to my husband. The punch would have knocked me out and I hate to think of what damage it could have done.

I have tried not to feel too dramatic about this today and tried to think of other things but it has affected my me. If 'joking' I wish the aggression type jokes would stop. He doesn't seem to take it that seriously when I have explained the matter to him. Although he has Alzheimer's he still can be ok in many ways.

I will tell the specialist but I am not sure what can be done. I would like to think I could always spot this problem but not easy. He could have accidentally caught me. I think he is like a child but even so what is the best way of dealing with this?

Reds

 

[Sue J]

Hi Reds

That must be very frightening for you and upsetting at the same time. Do you have a room that you can go to and lock from the inside if necessary?

How do you think your husband would react if you got very firm with him?

Maybe the specialist will recommend some medication that may help, I hope so. Its not easy is it?

Love
Sue

 

[Reds]

Thanks Sue J.

Could lock myself in the bathroom but this happened on the patio outside and was a one quick punch. Had been clearing the patio ready for a new one and a family member helping us. Hubby didn't want to help really, just wanted to sit with the visiting family member and have a walk. The clearance took less than 30 mins and was quite a nice thing to do, moving pots and things and thought hubby would enjoy joining in. The punch was very unexpected. Think he thinks of the visiting family member as his friend whereas on my side of the family and helps generally. This was a one off job so won't happen again.

I do feel shocked but I am not sure how medication can help. Don't want him sedated as ok in many times.

Reds

 

[Cat27]

Reds you have to keep yourself safe.
Contact his GP & tell them what happened. You need help as you can't live being scared of what he's going to do next.

 

[Kjn]

Agree with Cat, Reds speak to GP you don't know it won't occur again , better to be prepared than not.

 

[Reds]

Thank you!

 

[Bod]

Reds
You must speak to his GP and any other clinic's he attends, preferably without his knowing. Medication may need changing, or adding to.

If you feel unsafe, phone 999 get the Police involved. They have powers to act, and have contacts that will help.

Bod

 

[Reds]

Thanks Bod and everyone. The specialist will be informed, feel I can't ignore the 'punch' whether a joke or not. Feels horrible having to 'tell'.

Reds