1. May 1

    May 1 Registered User

    May 7, 2015
    Hi.can anyone advice me on how to cope with my OH when he gets aggressive? He was officially diagnosed with alzheimers in April this year. Is on donepezil 10mg l have seen his GP with not a lot of help .All i am told is that it is not hlm lt is the disease! .i know that but when he gets in a temper it is terrifying. He's only 67.Any advice please.
  2. hisstessa2

    hisstessa2 Registered User

    Feb 19, 2015
    My mom's doctor went with Xanax in the day and trazadone for sleep. Some people say that Xanax is addictive but if they are happy then....
  3. Cat27

    Cat27 Volunteer Moderator

    Feb 27, 2015
    Talk to the memory clinic or GP.
    Sadly aggression is quite common & there are medications that may help.

    I walk out of the room when my dad kicks off, I agree with whatever he says & I am aware of my space & not getting into an inescapable position.
  4. Alan19531953

    Alan19531953 Registered User

    Jun 16, 2015
    Olanzaprine and sertraline

    My wife has been out on low dose of the above and the aggression is much reduced. Hope this helps.
  5. esmeralda

    esmeralda Registered User

    Nov 27, 2014
    Hi May, so sorry you are going through this. You need to keep yourself as safe as you can, if you feel you are in real danger it may not be possible for you to remain in this situation, extreme as that may sound. The police Domestic Violence Unit may be able to give you good advice and can sometimes install alarms. Please see tpot's 'newbie' thread where you might find some useful information. Love, Es
  6. elizabeth hc

    elizabeth hc Registered User

    Oct 31, 2012
    It is horrible when they are like that.even when you know it is the disease it is still very upsetting.my OH says some nasty comments all the time and while I stew over them he has forgotten. I try to fill my life with lots of nice things and try and put it out of my mind. Not easy but we are all in the same boat.
  7. Amber 3

    Amber 3 Registered User

    Feb 4, 2015
    South Devon
    I agree with Kat, make sure you have an escape route when the aggressive behaviour strikes. I speak from experience as I finished up in A&E with a black eye after one of my
    husbands aggressive episodes ! I have made sure it will not happen again !!! Shoes, keys, mobile phone and jacket all at the ready. Never underestimate the strength of a
    person with dementia...Be safe.
  8. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    Hello May 1

    You need a safe place in the home if you are unable to leave the house when your OH becomes aggressive .

    I had a bolt fitted on both bedroom doors so there was always somewhere for me to go.

    Make sure you always have access to a phone and if your OH becomes uncontrollable please do not hesitate to phone the police. I know it`s not a nice thing to do but it`s not nice to be at risk either no matter how serious the illness is.

    Try again to get some better understanding from the doctor. I know sedative medication is frowned on these days and rightly so , but if you are at risk it may be justified.

    Keep a diary of incidents, timed and dated. It carries more weight for the doctor to see it in writing.
  9. Alan19531953

    Alan19531953 Registered User

    Jun 16, 2015

    Has greatly reduced my wife's aggressive turns. Nay be mention it to GP
  10. angiebails

    angiebails Registered User

    Oct 8, 2009
    I have been though terrible times with my OH and his aggression. He hated me so much he said he had planned how to kill me. He is a big man and has the strength of an ox so if he did catch me I would stand no chance. I spoke to the dementia clinic and told them of the threats and that he had actually hit me when his temper flew up so quickly that he caught me unawares. When they know you could be in severe danger they have to do something about it for your safety. Do as the others have done and think of your safety, I have a bag packed so I can leave instantly and have numbers on fast dial so that if I ring and don't even speak they know to come to the house. My OH is on risperdol and it is not recommended but it has calmed him down so we can lead a normal life at the moment and has not threatened to harm me. The dementia clinic will help and if you need to ring them up and tell them what is happening, don't wait for an appointment as you will both be in the same room and it makes it awkward although my OH did tell the doctor that he had hit me when asked. The dementia nurse now visits me to check how things are and if I have any flair ups I ring or text her.
    You are the carer and you are just as important so seek help. I did even though it took a long time I got there.

    Sent from my iPad using Talking Point

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