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Aggression and violence


New member
Feb 24, 2021
Hi, my partner tells me he has Alzheimer's
. He's 41 and says he has Alzheimer's attacks where he can't control he's words and actions. He will often call me names, threaten to leave me, throw things at me, even sit on top of me and hurt me. I have never seen anything to say about he's Alzheimer's. I'm just wondering if this is normal behaviour.


Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
Welcome to the forum @Lamia.

I’m sorry to read about your situation.

Firstly, could I ask if your partner has a diagnosis of Alzheimer’s?

Whether he has a diagnosis or not you should not be coping with this level of aggression. It would be in order for you to phone the police when you face aggression such as you describe. Once they have made their visit they will record this incident and share it with the social work department. It woUtd be good to have this recorded.

If you think a violent outburst is coming please try to get yourself into a safe place in the house - preferably where you can lock the doors - and make sure you have your mobile phone with you.

A number of people have posted on the forum about facing aggression and I’m sure others will share their advice with you.

In the meantime this advice may be helpful—



Registered User
Aug 30, 2013
Yes to the above.
Don't let yourself get into danger, phone 999, as soon as possible.
At 41 he's very young for Alzheimers, but not unheard of. Get him to the Dr's if at all possible.



Registered User
Jan 23, 2019
High Peak
No, it is not normal - for anyone to behave this way. You're in a lot of danger - please call the police next time it happens or better still, get yourself out of there.

How long have you known him? Is it likely he has Alzheimers? Someone who'd been diagnosed at that young age would definitely be given drugs to slow down the progress of the disease - does he take anything? People with Alzheimers do not have 'attacks' of it - they have it all the time.

I'm afraid it sounds to me as though he has some serious mental health issues and is using the excuse of 'Alzheimers attacks' to excuse/justify his behaviour.

Please be very, very careful.


Volunteer Moderator
Dec 15, 2012
hello @Lamia
a warm welcome from me too

it is unusual for someone so young to have a diagnosis of Alzheimer's but it is possible ... however, I wonder what he means by Alzheimer's attacks, explaining behaviour that way is unusual

any form of aggression and violence is not acceptable, is there somewhere you can go to be safe and later tell your partner to see his GP to look into meds to help him

in fact, I'd contact his GP and give him the details you have shared here as his GP will know whether or not there has been a diagnosis and will have to note the info you give on his records, though they won't be able to discuss this with you due to patient confidentiality ... ask the GP not to mention that you have contacted them, so this isn't passed on to your partner

please call the police if there's any aggression towards you, you have a right to be safe ... I appreciate this may be hard to do, but it may be a way for your partner to get the support he needs ... you can also make your Local Authority Adult Services aware as they have a duty of care

you've reached out here, might you also look at this site for support
What is domestic abuse? - Womens Aid

sorry if this is untoward ... personally, this is sounds like the kind of relationship to walk away from, though I understand things aren't always that simple ... you matter, your safety matters and you have a right to live life without fear of such behaviour

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