Mum died August 14 and we will be having the funeral/memorial service this coming Saturday. I think I'm still in a state of disbelief. I know Mum died, I was with her but I haven't really cried. I've had a few little weeps, no more than a minute or two. I am giving the eulogy so I hope I keep this eerie calm until after the funeral. We will then be going away on Sep 9, to the UK in fact, and I hope this will help reset me. I feel okay, at least I think I do. I have been having a few odd dreams and my sleep is very disturbed but otherwise I'm just calm. I don't understand this. Mum died on a Sunday and I went back to work on the Wednesday. I wasn't expected back but otherwise I would have been staring at my four walls. I've been busy with all the practicalities and legalities of the funeral, being the executor, setting things up and so on. A state of busyness feels good right now. I'll be honest - my calm is making me nervous. I know underneath I'm not so calm, as I'm very forgetful. Still, I'm muddling through. I think.