After respite..the reality hits...

[gigi]

I bet your bird-feeding arrangements are all ship shape and stable.

Quite the contrary, Deborah...

My bird table went rotten a couple of years ago due to long term neglect..

I've given up with peanuts as the squirrels take them all..

My blackbird friend sits on the kitchen windowsill and "pipes" to me, he has a special call which is quite high pitched, I like to think we're communicating... when I open the door he flies down onto the patio and I whistle gently to him and throw him a handful of sultanas... I think it's called "feeding on demand"....

Love xx

 

[BeckyJan]

Deborah:
Is the spiky rod in sections? I hammered the lower section with a wooden chopper thing (sorry not too technical with tools!) - didn't manage the whole distance but then supported with heavy stones around the base!!!

Well if its not S of Music - go mad and try something different (? Croc Dundee! ).

I have witnessed Gigi and her blackbird friend - its lovely. He sends a different message to his wife/girlfriend. I am sure Gigi will be feeding the whole family before long.

I hope Eric is calm today Gigi!!

Love

 

[julieann15]

Hope today is calmer?

Dear Gigi
Just wanted to send you my best wishes and hope for a more peaceful day for you both. Mum had a bad day on Wednesday(pointing her stick at me)Normally she is so mild-mannered? I am afraid I lost my cool and told her that if she carried on like this then I was not taking her out- she did so I didn't!!

Thursday was a totally different day and mum was back on keel- just shows what a difference a day makes

Take care

Love Julie xx

 

[gigi]

Thanks Julie and Jan,

Eric is very peaceful today. The carer thismorning was as round as she was tall... Eric positively beamed at her..

He's very docile and sleepy...waking only to go to the loo and eat his lunch. TV isn't an issue..and is becoming less of one through the day. But come the evening it all seems to change.

Jan we did both Crocodile Dundees on Thursday night...

Last night was "First Knight"..Richard Gere prancing around as Lancelot and Sean Connery as a not very convincing King Arthur..

Who knows what tonight will bring..

Love xx

 

[Grannie G]

Who knows what tonight will bring..

I think we both have an idea gigi, for you and for me. But until then we must make the most of the peace of today.

 

[gigi]

But until then we must make the most of the peace of today.

Thanks Sylvia..I'm wallowing in it just now...and hope you are too..

How's your cough?

Love xx

 

[Grannie G]

I found some co codomol gigi so took a couple and they worked. I`ve just had a phone call from Lucy to check your recommendation of Simple Linctus with Codeine as they are on their way to get it.

 

[Canadian Joanne]

Gigi, I hope things can go as well as they can tonight. As for the nasty comments, mum was also prone to making them, usually at the top of her voice. She would freely and embarrassingly comment on weight, noses, racial background and general niceness and attractiveness in an uninhibited fashion. One of the few nice things about late stage AD is that she no longer does this anymore.

It WAS funny when she kept referring to the fatness of people when she was 14 stone and only 5'3". When I pointed this out to her, she had the nerve to say she wasn't fat, even when faced with the evidence in the mirror. (Much like myself now)

 

[Helen33]

Who knows what tonight will bring..

What about Mamma Mia

Love

 

[BeckyJan]

Good Morning Gigi:

I wonder what sort of night you endured!!

Did you manage to use the laptop at the same time as Eric watching his film/s? If you can get over that hurdle your evenings may be more bearable.

Have a good day?
Love

 

[DeborahBlythe]

Too sensible

Deborah:
Is the spiky rod in sections? I hammered the lower section with a wooden chopper thing (sorry not too technical with tools!) - didn't manage the whole distance but then supported with heavy stones around the base!!!

Love

Jan, thanks. This suggestion is just too sensible. I prefer stretching up six feet and trying to hammer the feeder top, which is quaintly spiked, with a bit of rotten tree wood. Strange to say,it doesn't work.

When it stops drizzling I will try your method.

Gigi, it is SO nice to hear about your loyal blackbird.Pix?
How are you and Eric this morning?
x

 

[gigi]

What about Mamma Mia

...Helen..I did suggest it but it was rejected in favour of Reach for the Sky...

However..the deal was that if Eric watched that I had my laptop in the lounge...

And we had a very peaceful evening. The same carer as the night before came and there was no repeat of the awful behaviour. Eric was compliant and very much the gentleman again. What a strange disease this is.

Thanks Jan and Deborah..we both had a really good undisturbed night... Eric is very quiet again thismorning. His mobility isn't very good but he had an assisted shower.

I have a pic of my blackbird somewhere. Will try to find it for you Deborah!

Love xx

 

[DeborahBlythe]

Oh, thanks! I love blackbirds. They have such wonderful songs. No hurry. xx

 

[Lynne]

Here you go, you two (until the real one shows up) - perhaps this will encourage him.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=997RTKzc39c

Gigi, I hope your day continues to be peaceful.

Love x

 

[gigi]

A lovely diversion...

Thankyou...

Now I've had a chance to read through your posts a rock and a hard place is the phrase that springs to mind.

Reflecting back on this last week I can recognise that I've been experiencing the "rollercoaster" of emotions which you've all experienced too.

Eric's review meeting thismorning has been cancelled, the SW is off sick. It's ok, it will be rearranged for another time.

I have come to a "sort of" decision. The next 2 respites are booked. I'm going to ask if they can be extended to 10 days each instead of a week.
The second one is in June. Just now I can't see beyond that.

Our situation is changing all the time as Eric's condition fluctuates.

I'll use the time between now and June to explore the possibilities of full time care and a suitable CH. And the financial implications..as I would have to find work. Meanwhile I do know that if the going gets too tough I can ask for emergency respite.

While acknowledging I no longer want to care I can see that part of this was probably a strong reaction to a) experiencing a bit of freedom and normality and b) Eric's behaviour on return from Respite.

Your comments and support have been invaluable in helping me to sort this out. Thank goodness for TP and all who sail in her..

Love xx

 

[Winnie Kjaer]

Hello Gigi,
I am so pleased you have reached a decision you feel you can live with

While acknowledging I no longer want to care I can see that part of this was probably a strong reaction to a) experiencing a bit of freedom and normality and b) Eric's behaviour on return from Respite

I am quite sure this is one of the reasons. What you have not got you don't miss but once you try it you want more. Like travelling. I am quite content not to be able to travel around the world but the few times I have try a holiday I have longed to see and experience more places.
Good you have respite booked and can extend the period, also good you acknowledge that should the need arise you can have more. I personally think that when we know there is an option the going gets easier.
Nothing is irreversable, so if you after a short time feel you after all cannot continue caring, you have every right to change your mind.
Have you thought about the situation if you were to work and still be a carer? even though your husband might be in a home you would probably still want to visit regularly plus perhaps have numerous problems to sort out on daily basis. It can from what I understand be equally hard being a working carer.I don't know how old you are but understand you have been away from the working enviroment for 2 years or more, that in itself would be difficult. I never thought I could stop working, I used to live, eat and sleep work living in most of my working life, but I would not wish to go back now.
I hope you feel more peaceful in yourself having made a dicision. Please take care.

 

[Beezed]

Dear Gigi,

So glad you have come to a decision that will be in the best interests of both of you.

Hope you manage to find somewhere suitable. Choosing residential care can be a daunting prospect.

Good luck with everything.

Love
Jeanne.

 

[connie]

Thinking of you. Take care now.

 

[gigi]

Thankyou Jeanne...

Choosing residential care can be a daunting prospect.

I'm hoping that Eric will be eligible for full time care in the place where he currently goes for respite..but it's not guaranteed.

Hello Winnie,

Thankyou for your concern.

I hope you feel more peaceful in yourself having made a dicision

I feel more positive having made a (somewaht sketchy) plan.

Have you thought about the situation if you were to work and still be a carer?

Oh yes! I realise that it could mean changing one set of problems for another.

.I don't know how old you are but understand you have been away from the working enviroment for 2 years or more, that in itself would be difficult.

I'm 56, Winnie, and I realise that returning to work, if I can find a job, could be problematic.

Eric and I have been married for 8 years. 4 of those years (at least) have been spent dealing with his dementia.

He has no other family support but me. His daughters live in Australia. His brother and sister are no longer alive.

Other family circumstances have taken their toll too and I think there's only so much one person can take.

The most important thing, I think, is to acknowledge that I'm feeling as I am and to work it out!

Once again I do thank you all for taking the time to read and comment.

Love xx

 

[sad nell]

Gigi just want to say i love you for being you, hope you have some peace tonight love pam