1. Expert Q&A: Benefits - Weds 23 October, 3-4pm

    Our next expert Q&A will be on the topic of benefits. It will be hosted by Lauren from our Knowledge Services team. She'll be answering your questions on Wednesday 23 October between 3-4pm.

    You can either post your question >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.

  1. Sweet Pea

    Sweet Pea Registered User

    Dec 20, 2006
    North Yorkshire
    Hello Everyone

    This is my first post. Like many others, I have viewed Talking Point for years, but only registered when my Dear Dad (Ad sufferer) died on 13th December 2006.

    He died very peacefully, but suddenly, in his own bed at home with my Mum at his side. We gain much comfort by this at this terribly sad time - I'm not boasting about this as I know that for many AD suffers this is not an option because this terrible illness has progressed too far for them to remain at home.

    What I wanted to do today, is to share with you a series of 'experiences' that both my Mum and myself have had following my Dad's death. Firstly, a clock fell off the fire-surround that was in front of a picture he had cherished. Then my Mum's electric bedside clock was flashing, then it stopped the following day, but then started flashing the day after - incidently she has two such clocks and the other was unaffected! Finally, my electric bedside clock (at a different address) started to flash, but kept the correct time. My Mum and I are convinced that this is my Dad trying to contact us, and we are so comforted by this. I firmly believe anyway that my Dad is acting as my Guardian Angel and I love to think that he is always with me, and often talk to him either out load or in my mind. This is helping me so much in my grief, although I know that everyone is different, and there may be many different opions about this subject.
    Take care

    Sweet Pea x
  2. dmc

    dmc Registered User

    Mar 13, 2006
    hi sweetpea

    welcome to TP, im so sorry about your dad, but it seems as though his passing was a peacefull one and thats all we can hope for with this disease.
    I think if you have the belief that your dad is somehow watching over you and your gaining comfort from it it cant be a bad thing.
    As you can see my avatar is an angel, and believe me ive needed an angel the past few years, ive had a few odd experiences myself i suppose a sceptic would always find a reasonable explanation for them but if you gain comfort from it whatever way then i say it cant be all bad
    peoples grief is a very personal thing to them and many deal with it differently, i think you and your mum are dealing with yours in your own way.
    best wishes to you both as you come to terms with your loss
    take care x
  3. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    Hi Sweetpea, I`m so sorry about your dad, but pleased he appears to be with you still. So many people have after death experiences, so who are we to scorn. If you are comforted by his continuing prescence, it can only be goodfor you. I hope it enables you to cope with your loss.

    Take Care, Sylvia
  4. alfjess

    alfjess Registered User

    Jul 10, 2006
    south lanarkshire
    guardian angel

    My Gran died in 1979, but I also think she is my guardian angel and is looking after me. As she always did in life.
    I was very close to Gran. Mum always worked, so I lived with Gran and Grandpa.
    Grandpa had died in 1978 and Gran went to America to visit my Uncles (her sons)
    One night while Gran was in America, in the wee small hours, I awakened feeling really ill. Nothing specific and I was pregnant with our 2nd Daughter so we thought pregnancy was the cause. Next mornig I had a phone call from my Uncle, Gran had had a heart attack and died.
    The timing for me wakening feeling ill and the time she died was the same.
    I am not a fancilful person. Exactly the opposite, very pratical is me, but I've always wondered and I still believe she looks after me.
  5. Sweet Pea

    Sweet Pea Registered User

    Dec 20, 2006
    North Yorkshire
    Thank you

    Thank you for your kind replies. I agonised over whether to post on this subject, as there are so many different opinions on what happens after death, and I didn't want to offend anybody as emotions are raw after the death of a loved one. I just wanted to pass on my thoughts in the hope that I might help someone in their grief. It's so hard coming to terms with death so I suppose we all cling to whatever we believe in
    Take care
    Sweet Pea x
  6. Amy

    Amy Registered User

    Jan 4, 2006
    Hiya Sweet Pea,
    I had to smile when reading your post, as I could identify with it. My FIL died very suddenly 18 months ago; 3 days later my husband and I were sitting in Church and the light above us started flickering; the day of the funeral, when everyone had gone we were sitting at the kitchen table, and the kitchen light started flickering; several months later when my MIL was having a particularly bad evening, she was crying in bed, when she became aware that a light had been turned on - the lamp that stands next to my FIL's photograph in the lounge. All coincidences? Who knows?
    Love Helen
  7. mw52

    mw52 Registered User

    Aug 25, 2006

    Hi - I agree that everyone has different beliefs and I think that at such a sad time as this, we have to take comfort from whatever source we can. My husband is very sceptical. It was my mum's funeral yesterday and the weather was horrendous - blowing a gale and pouring down with rain - and of course none of us had a coat! Anyway, just as the cortege pulled up at the house - the sun broke through and there was a rainbow - only very faint - in the sky. When we came out of the crematorium there was a huge bright rainbow with the colours really strong in the sky and I like to think that was my mum.
  8. Sweet Pea

    Sweet Pea Registered User

    Dec 20, 2006
    North Yorkshire
    What a lovely story Maureen - rainbows will always have a special significance for you now.
    Look after yourself at this sad time
    Sweet Pea x
  9. sarah018

    sarah018 Registered User

    Dec 12, 2006
  10. alfjess

    alfjess Registered User

    Jul 10, 2006
    south lanarkshire
    Hi Sarah
    It does make you wonder when this sort of thing happens, doesn't it?

    Speaking of rainbows. Whenever I see a rainbow, it makes me think of my beloved St Bernard dog (not the same as a Mother, I know)
    Jessica, my dog was very ill, medication wasn't working so I phoned for the vet to come and end her suffering. Then I started to doubt that decision, so I was sitting with Jess in floods of tears when I looked out the window and there was a beautiful big rainbow in the sky. The rainbow stayed until the vet arrived and Jess's suffering ended.
    I took that as a sign I had made the right decision, for Jess.
    Have you ever heard of a poem Rainbow Bridge? I will try to find it and post in the poems section.
    It is about dogs, but could mean anything
    Sorry about your Mother
  11. mw52

    mw52 Registered User

    Aug 25, 2006

    Oh Alfess if you could find it please I would like to read it. I was trying to find another poem - can't remember all the words or even how it starts - something about I'm only sleeping, I have not gone ........... sort of thing that you read in obituary columns. If anyone knows that I'd be grateful if they could send it to me
  12. alfjess

    alfjess Registered User

    Jul 10, 2006
    south lanarkshire
    rainbow bridge

    I have posted poem in the poems section. I don't know if you can relate to it.
    I believe it can apply to anyone, not just a pet
  13. cynron

    cynron Registered User

    Sep 26, 2005
    east sussex

    Thanks Tina for this site i have been singing along to some lyrics it is good fun.

    regards cynron x x :D
  14. maria29al

    maria29al Registered User

    Mar 15, 2006
    On the day of my Dads funeral last July the weather was rainy. I hoped that it would stop ..as we arrived at the church, the sun came out and the same as we left for the crem. When we got to the crem there was a mist over the grounds...very tropical...my Dad lived in Penang for many years and we all commented on how fitting it was. We had opted for a bamboo coffin and wild flowers to swathe it along with Sunflowers.
    My daughter and I have since had "signs" that we like to think are from Dad every time we visit the place where we scattered his ashes.
    I feel his prescence all the time.
  15. bertie

    bertie Registered User

    Jan 21, 2007
    burton on trent
    hi sweetpea
    i too believe now that there is life after death as my son has on several occasions has told me of 'visits' from my mum who passed away 3 yrs ago yesterday from AD, he was in hospital recently quite ill and i wondered who he was smiling at over my shoulder, apparently mum was there keeping an eye on him, she told him that he was not to be sad anymore as she was doing well now and is now happy again!! as he is only 6 i truly believe that she came to see him that day, i just wish i was able to still see her in this way so i could see for myself that she is now 'whole' again, I believe your dad is still with you and watching over you and your mum and keeping you both safe

  16. alex

    alex Registered User

    Apr 10, 2006
    Hi Sweetpea

    I must admit that i don'r believe in anything after death, but that said, I have had some very strange experiences since my partner died 7 months ago and each time these things have happened its been when i've been crying or upset over him............one time was two days after he died my grandfather clock chimed 12 times at 02.20am........considering the chimes were turned off i found this disturbing............and about three months ago my kettle kept switching its self on and off, music would come on even though the radio was turned off.

    I spoke to someone who believes in this sort of thing and told them that i have never felt as though he has been with me since he died but she said 'maybe thats because he's never left you'

    I was in Intensive Care last week and i know it could have been the drugs i was being given but i could have sworn he was on a chair on my right and the same when i moved to the normal ward i didn't see him, just a sort of shadow and a feeling that he was next to the bed.................i'm still not sure if i believe or not but i suppose if it gives comfort then why not?

    Love Alex x
  17. Lila13

    Lila13 Registered User

    Feb 24, 2006
    Phone message

    I got a phone message which sounded so like my mother
    calling me in confusion and distress, but with no number to ring back, I expect
    it was my oldest aunt, the similarities grow with age and
    illness, recent photos of my 2nd aunt look so like my mother and they
    weren't alike as children or as young women.

    Nearly a year and I still can't believe it.

  18. RussellC

    RussellC Registered User

    Jul 6, 2006
    On the day of my Dad's funeral I was going to wear a black tie, but had a strong and overwhelming feeling I should wear a bright blue tie, normally worn by Dad. I believe this was my Dad's influence.

    My brother felt he was sliding into depression because of the loss of his Dad. One night he suddenly felt better and believes this was Dad. My sister and I even thought Dad was influencing choices in relation to the funeral.

    I am sure there are rational explanations, but I prefer to believe that my Dad would help his family if he possibly could.

    Best wishes to all who have suffered loss.

  19. Lila13

    Lila13 Registered User

    Feb 24, 2006
    My mother certainly influenced choices as far as the funeral was concerned, there weren't any proper written instructions, but she'd addressed and stamped the envelopes for us to write and tell people, though we had to update some, she'd left a "reading" and the words of the song she wanted us to sing. And it was as much as possible like my father's, 8 years before.
  20. narfloon

    narfloon Registered User

    Apr 28, 2007
    Reading your posts was lovely! I would love some kind of sign that mum made it to the other side and is now not suffering and OK. I have been asking but so far nothing! Having said that, my sister was with her in the early hours when she died and the light in her room was flickering like mad. Also, she had been semi comatosed for 3 days and eyes shut for the last day, but just before she died, my sister said she turned her head to her, opened her eyes and stared at her for 15 minutes or so. I really like to think it was her way of saying goodbye. Later on the day she died when we collected her stuff, when we went back in to her room again the light went mad!
    Just before she died, I saw a medium who told me mum had had enough but she needed our permission, she needed to know we were Ok, before she went I made sure both my sister and I told her we were ok and she had our permission. I hoped this eased her journey.

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