I found this site, and have been a member, for a while,and found it very helpful.
My mum was diagnosed with Alzheimer's / Dementia a year ago.
Though, with hindsight, the signs were there a lot earlier, but were not picked up on.
Just recently though, my wife and I are finding it increasingly difficult and confusing with regards the care my mum is receiving at the hands of the nursing / care system.
I am under no illusions as to the progressive nature, and the outcome of my mums condition.
Our soul priority is to ensure that whatever time my mum has left is made as comfortable, and stress / pain free as possible.
Recent events have made the situation increasingly upsetting and very confusing.
I welcome any opinions, advise, and just need to share my thoughts with others experiencing similar situations.
I feel my 85 year old mother may have entered the final stages of Alzheimer's / Dementia. She has become very abusive and agressive, refusing meals and medication, and very unco-operative, regarding washing dressing etc. Whilst I feel for the staff who have to deal with her, I feel they should be doing more than they actually are.
We recently found medication on the floor, ( not for the first time ), which had been discarded. A drink, she had thrown across the room in a fit of temper, and was still not cleared up over an hour later.
When we mention our concerns to the staff, and suggest things, they make various excuses, "its against her human rights", "we are not allowed to do this, or to do that", etc.
The following is just one such example:
Because mum is able to get to the toilet in her room, albeit with great difficulty, using a tri-frame, they say "she has mobility", ( Despite her care plan saying she needs two carers to help her at all times ), therefore they are "unable to use pads on her, as its against her human rights". Then we find they use them at night due to bed wetting issues.
This is just one example, there are many others. To this end my wife and I arranged a meeting with the home Manager, and voiced our concerns.
The Manager had an answer for everything, most of which seemed to make no sense at all.
On more than one occasion we have found her in the same cloths she had on the previous day, hasn't been washed. when we question this, they say they can't make her change her cloths, or get dressed / undressed if she dosn't want to. They can't make her eat / drink if she dosn't want to.
We are finding this attitude extreemly frustrating, as she clearly lacks capacity to make the very basic of decisions, and has been assessed as such.
I brought up the subject of DoLs, ( Deprivation of Liberty Safeguards ) as mum seems to meet some, if not all the various criteria for it, and I feel it could be of benefit. Enabling the staff to use meassures they currently can't or just don't want to use, for whatever reason.
The Manager dismissed this suggestion out of hand, saying they only need use that if the resident is trying to get out of the home. It would serve no other purpose.
I did, however disagree, and insisted the Manager arrange for the relevant assessments to be made.
The Manager did agree to this, though she seemed reluctant.
Mum has already had a Community Mental Health Team conduct a "routine" assessment, which clearly states she lacks mental capacity, is unable to make dicisions, unable to retain information to make such decisions. Their care recommendations differ in some ways,from what she actually gets.
Sorry for long post, just very confused, not sure what's the best way forward. We feel we are banging our heads against the wall.
Alan
My mum was diagnosed with Alzheimer's / Dementia a year ago.
Though, with hindsight, the signs were there a lot earlier, but were not picked up on.
Just recently though, my wife and I are finding it increasingly difficult and confusing with regards the care my mum is receiving at the hands of the nursing / care system.
I am under no illusions as to the progressive nature, and the outcome of my mums condition.
Our soul priority is to ensure that whatever time my mum has left is made as comfortable, and stress / pain free as possible.
Recent events have made the situation increasingly upsetting and very confusing.
I welcome any opinions, advise, and just need to share my thoughts with others experiencing similar situations.
I feel my 85 year old mother may have entered the final stages of Alzheimer's / Dementia. She has become very abusive and agressive, refusing meals and medication, and very unco-operative, regarding washing dressing etc. Whilst I feel for the staff who have to deal with her, I feel they should be doing more than they actually are.
We recently found medication on the floor, ( not for the first time ), which had been discarded. A drink, she had thrown across the room in a fit of temper, and was still not cleared up over an hour later.
When we mention our concerns to the staff, and suggest things, they make various excuses, "its against her human rights", "we are not allowed to do this, or to do that", etc.
The following is just one such example:
Because mum is able to get to the toilet in her room, albeit with great difficulty, using a tri-frame, they say "she has mobility", ( Despite her care plan saying she needs two carers to help her at all times ), therefore they are "unable to use pads on her, as its against her human rights". Then we find they use them at night due to bed wetting issues.
This is just one example, there are many others. To this end my wife and I arranged a meeting with the home Manager, and voiced our concerns.
The Manager had an answer for everything, most of which seemed to make no sense at all.
On more than one occasion we have found her in the same cloths she had on the previous day, hasn't been washed. when we question this, they say they can't make her change her cloths, or get dressed / undressed if she dosn't want to. They can't make her eat / drink if she dosn't want to.
We are finding this attitude extreemly frustrating, as she clearly lacks capacity to make the very basic of decisions, and has been assessed as such.
I brought up the subject of DoLs, ( Deprivation of Liberty Safeguards ) as mum seems to meet some, if not all the various criteria for it, and I feel it could be of benefit. Enabling the staff to use meassures they currently can't or just don't want to use, for whatever reason.
The Manager dismissed this suggestion out of hand, saying they only need use that if the resident is trying to get out of the home. It would serve no other purpose.
I did, however disagree, and insisted the Manager arrange for the relevant assessments to be made.
The Manager did agree to this, though she seemed reluctant.
Mum has already had a Community Mental Health Team conduct a "routine" assessment, which clearly states she lacks mental capacity, is unable to make dicisions, unable to retain information to make such decisions. Their care recommendations differ in some ways,from what she actually gets.
Sorry for long post, just very confused, not sure what's the best way forward. We feel we are banging our heads against the wall.
Alan