Advise to help my mother

Bluerosedove

Registered User
Feb 15, 2015
2
Hi, my mother was recently diagnosed with dementia, she has been forgetting family names and getting confused. I am making a family tree of our immediate family so that she can use this. I'm just scared she might get upset. Am finding things bit hard as I have 2 older sisters who have taken control and don't feel they think of my mothers feelings but they do with her health.
 

Katrine

Registered User
Jan 20, 2011
2,839
England
Can you make a photo montage with pictures of family members' faces? We did this for MIL. Her daughter and kids, her elder son with me and our kids, her younger son and his lady friend, and her sister and BIL, in 4 clusters with names underneath.

A conventional family tree would have meant nothing because she doesn't think in linear sequence. Also the names of people who are now dead, and people she longer sees such as her ex-SIL and ex-DILs, would have confused and upset her.

The idea was to have an aide-memoire for those she has regular contact with either in person or by phone and letter.
 

MeganCat

Registered User
Jan 29, 2013
356
South Wales
Hi blue dove
Welcome to TP
I like the idea of a family tree -would your mum understand it or would photos of the people help? I remember my granny having family photos that my aunt had put together for her with labels eg George - brother. I did a photo album for my mum when she went into the care home in a similar vein.
It must be a frightening time for your mum if she knows about her condition. It's hard not to take over as an older sibling, but speak to your sisters and be clear that you want to be involved. They'll be glad of the support - even if they don't appreciate it at this point!
 

Bluerosedove

Registered User
Feb 15, 2015
2
Thank you for your advice. I have done a basic tree with just my mothers children, her grandchildren and great grandchildren. Heading the tree as 'ME' and under each name writing 'my son', 'my granddaughter' etc. Hopefully with the help of family members I wish to create a small album of individual family members with their names and relationship to my mother so that she can look at this. I have asked my brother and sisters for their co-operation but at moment my brother is the only one that has responded and thinks it is a good idea.