Hi everyone, I wondered if anyone can advise me. My mum has now been in a care home for a year. Not really communicating at the moment, although she can say some sentences. Not able to move or do anything for herself really at all. The GP suspects an underlying condition possibly cancer either blood or reemergence of bowel. Tests would be distressing at this stage, and Mum wouldn't be a candidate for treatment. I went to see her at the weekend, first time I have been allowed to visit in her room due to Covid. Previous visits have occurred in the visitors lounge or garden or window visits but they now don't feel like Mum should be ferried around I don't think.
For some reason, seeing her sat in her room has hit me really hard. The reality is the care home is a long distance away from where I live and practically it is difficult for me to visit too much. Im wondering how other people have coped with this stage? I don't think Mum knew who I was, or why I was there. Ive been invited to a birthday meal they have for all residents who have a birthday in July plus 1 visitor each at the end of the month and to say I am dreading it is an understatement. I don't feel strong enough emotionally to deal with it but equally don't want mum to be the only person who doesn't have a family visitor. No one else in my family is supportive who could go in my place apart from other relatives who live a very long way away. Most of the visiting is on me as other family members have indicated to me that they would prefer to remember my Mum as she was. After a horrific year, (actually make that 5!!!) and having a hard time at my job plus dealing with this reality I feel like I am going to hit rock bottom. Thanks for reading.
For some reason, seeing her sat in her room has hit me really hard. The reality is the care home is a long distance away from where I live and practically it is difficult for me to visit too much. Im wondering how other people have coped with this stage? I don't think Mum knew who I was, or why I was there. Ive been invited to a birthday meal they have for all residents who have a birthday in July plus 1 visitor each at the end of the month and to say I am dreading it is an understatement. I don't feel strong enough emotionally to deal with it but equally don't want mum to be the only person who doesn't have a family visitor. No one else in my family is supportive who could go in my place apart from other relatives who live a very long way away. Most of the visiting is on me as other family members have indicated to me that they would prefer to remember my Mum as she was. After a horrific year, (actually make that 5!!!) and having a hard time at my job plus dealing with this reality I feel like I am going to hit rock bottom. Thanks for reading.