Advise needed

Grace1

New member
Jun 15, 2019
3
0
My brother has been assessed by the Memory Clinic as having Vascular dementia - he is 63.
He was living an independent life until he had a heart attack in April last year.
Since then he has been in and out of hospital due to chest pain, unstable type 1 diabetes and his memory has deteriorated to such an extent that he needs district nurses to give his insulin.
On the last 6-9 months he has only managed 1 or 2 days at home before needing readmission to hospital.
When last discharged he was sent to a residential home for a trial .
He likes to go to the pub for 2 pints at 10 o’clock each night.
The home are now saying for him to stay there they want a DOLS in place. His SWKr says that should be in place too.
We have a meeting on Tuesday to decide if he will stay there.
He wants to go back to his flat .
To me, he seems far to young and fit to be where he is. The SWKr says he does not have capacity as he does not retain information.
Any advice would be appreciated. I love 180 miles away from him. His next of kin are happy for him to stay in the home. Thank you.
 

Bunpoots

Volunteer Host
Apr 1, 2016
7,342
0
Nottinghamshire
Hi @Grace1

Welcome to DTP. You’ll find good advice and understanding here.

Your poor brother is so young to be so poorly. In my experience SS will only suggest a home and DOLS as a last resort. It really does sound as though your brother is not managing to live independently and it would be awful if something happened to him because he is no longer able to keep himself safe. The important letter in DOLS is the S - for safeguarding - they are generally used to keep someone safe, not to deprive them of liberty.

Going in and out of hospital is not going to do him any good and I think hospital can make people with dementia worse. A good carehome, on the other hand, can actually improve the quality of life for the sufferer.

I think the best thing would be for him to try a stint in the carehome where the can assess his ability to live independently or possibly in sheltered housing. SS will certainly not want to keep him there if they can see him coping with a cheaper option.
 

Beate

Registered User
May 21, 2014
12,179
0
London
He may be young and fit but he's also been diagnosed with dementia, and his memory has deteriorated so much that it is putting him at risk of uncontrolled diabetes and many more stays in hospital, so he won't be "fit" for very much longer, especially if he is living on his own. I'm sure you want the best for him, but think of the risks and dangers of living by yourself with dementia. If he has lost capacity, a best interest meeting will be used to decide, and I'm afraid his wish to return to his flat will not count for much if he does not understand the associated risks. You won't find many people who happily enter a care home I'm afraid - that doesn't mean it couldn't be the best place for him.
 

Jaded'n'faded

Registered User
Jan 23, 2019
5,259
0
High Peak
If he enjoys a beer in the evening it probably won't do him much harm (depending on what meds he takes!) but it's clearly no longer safe for him to go to the pub.

Could one of his family nearby take him the odd can?

Having said that, some people with dementia don't do well with alcohol, so take advice from the staff at the home. If I take some wine and have a small glass with my mum it puts her in a great mood and she always sleeps well afterwards...!
 

Grace1

New member
Jun 15, 2019
3
0
My brother has been assessed by the Memory Clinic as having Vascular dementia - he is 63.
He was living an independent life until he had a heart attack in April last year.
Since then he has been in and out of hospital due to chest pain, unstable type 1 diabetes and his memory has deteriorated to such an extent that he needs district nurses to give his insulin.
On the last 6-9 months he has only managed 1 or 2 days at home before needing readmission to hospital.
When last discharged he was sent to a residential home for a trial .
He likes to go to the pub for 2 pints at 10 o’clock each night.
The home are now saying for him to stay there they want a DOLS in place. His SWKr says that should be in place too.
We have a meeting on Tuesday to decide if he will stay there.
He wants to go back to his flat .
To me, he seems far to young and fit to be where he is. The SWKr says he does not have capacity as he does not retain information.
Any advice would be appreciated. I love 180 miles away from him. His next of kin are happy for him to stay in the home. Thank you.
Thank you for taking the time to reply.
 

Grace1

New member
Jun 15, 2019
3
0
Hi @Grace1

Welcome to DTP. You’ll find good advice and understanding here.

Your poor brother is so young to be so poorly. In my experience SS will only suggest a home and DOLS as a last resort. It really does sound as though your brother is not managing to live independently and it would be awful if something happened to him because he is no longer able to keep himself safe. The important letter in DOLS is the S - for safeguarding - they are generally used to keep someone safe, not to deprive them of liberty.

Going in and out of hospital is not going to do him any good and I think hospital can make people with dementia worse. A good carehome, on the other hand, can actually improve the quality of life for the sufferer.

I think the best thing would be for him to try a stint in the carehome where the can assess his ability to live independently or possibly in sheltered housing. SS will certainly not want to keep him there if they can see him coping with a cheaper option.
Thank you for taking the time to reply.
Does anyone know of any residential places specifically for younger onset ?
 

Louise7

Volunteer Host
Mar 25, 2016
4,694
0
I doubt if you'll find somewhere that is specifically for younger onset - most homes cater for a range of ages (my Mum's home takes 50 years and above). This site is useful for finding homes within a specific area/type and most state the age ranges they accept: https://www.carehome.co.uk/
 

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