Advice

Dickie-boy

Registered User
Jun 12, 2014
2
0
Hi
Please can anyone advise on the following;

My father in law was diagnosed 2 years ago with the early states of dementia. At this point both myself and his daughter were in the process of moving away. In this time we have now seen a rapid decrease in his health but more so in his personality. This is also the case with my mother-in-law who is now looking extremely tired, frustrated and is clearly struggling to deal/ cope with the changes in her husband - Understandable.

All in all he is in no way as bad as most and is in the early stages, however his obsessions, aggressive personality and new habits are very tiring and frustrating. He is in no way anywhere near care homes and the like and is fully in control of day to day life (with in reason).
Some of the obsessions are very strange and I can full understand her frustration and constant verbal battering, the repeat questions twenty times over etc, taking all clothes out the cupboards and re organising his while leaving hers all over the floor near daily, causing arguments in the supermarkets, shouting at drivers from the path for driving to fast when in all fair ness they are not. He has been approached numerous times in the super market after having ago at people for leaving a trolley near a fridge or something. Even down to the colour of a potato which now either edible or seriously damaging to his health as he says, where as you and I would even consider this.

I appreciate this is small matter but its all day every day. They visited us last weekend and I must admit I became very frustrated as did everyone else and I felt bad for my own reactions/ feelings over this, as much as we support and visit it is still no way giving her the break she needs and as such we have arranged to take them on holiday.

However, my main concern at the minute is how to give my mother-in-law a break, it seems that their is support out their via radio and tv campaigns this is clear, though this is directed at people (in my opinion) with sever/ later stages of dementia - What is available for those at early stages? HE has attended a local group in the East Riding which he did not enjoy and the feeling was that this was also geared to the more sever/ full time care suffers.

Please can anyone advise how/ what else is out their?
 

BLONDY

Registered User
Oct 29, 2011
82
0
2000 MILES AWAY
Hi
Please can anyone advise on the following;

My father in law was diagnosed 2 years ago with the early states of dementia. At this point both myself and his daughter were in the process of moving away. In this time we have now seen a rapid decrease in his health but more so in his personality. This is also the case with my mother-in-law who is now looking extremely tired, frustrated and is clearly struggling to deal/ cope with the changes in her husband - Understandable.

All in all he is in no way as bad as most and is in the early stages, however his obsessions, aggressive personality and new habits are very tiring and frustrating. He is in no way anywhere near care homes and the like and is fully in control of day to day life (with in reason).
Some of the obsessions are very strange and I can full understand her frustration and constant verbal battering, the repeat questions twenty times over etc, taking all clothes out the cupboards and re organising his while leaving hers all over the floor near daily, causing arguments in the supermarkets, shouting at drivers from the path for driving to fast when in all fair ness they are not. He has been approached numerous times in the super market after having ago at people for leaving a trolley near a fridge or something. Even down to the colour of a potato which now either edible or seriously damaging to his health as he says, where as you and I would even consider this.

I appreciate this is small matter but its all day every day. They visited us last weekend and I must admit I became very frustrated as did everyone else and I felt bad for my own reactions/ feelings over this, as much as we support and visit it is still no way giving her the break she needs and as such we have arranged to take them on holiday.

However, my main concern at the minute is how to give my mother-in-law a break, it seems that their is support out their via radio and tv campaigns this is clear, though this is directed at people (in my opinion) with sever/ later stages of dementia - What is available for those at early stages? HE has attended a local group in the East Riding which he did not enjoy and the feeling was that this was also geared to the more sever/ full time care suffers.

Please can anyone advise how/ what else is out their?
Hello Dickie-boy yes the constant rearanging my mother did this, I think they know their mind is in turmoil and are trying to do their level best to try to organize the chaos in their minds. Maybe their is a local organisation that would look after him in respite care.
Kind Regards
Blondy
 

bilslin

Registered User
Jan 17, 2014
762
0
hertforshire
Hi Dicky boy what about crossroads or age uk for a visit then your mil can go shopping and have a little break. Have you been in touch with your local Alzheimer society they will be able to give you some advice. Good luck. lindax
 

Dickie-boy

Registered User
Jun 12, 2014
2
0
Hi Blondie,
This is the thing, the GP have stated that "he is not that bad yet"..... I strongly disagree with this, but what can we do. Respite care they have said the same but there must be some organisation which could come and sit in with him for a while. My Granddad suffered badly with Alzheimers for 10 years (5 of which in a care home) and there was people popping in every other day to give my nan a break - but this was in all fairness when he got bad. FIL is on 73 and physically fit as a fiddle so its tough for someone in a five minute GP appointment to see exactly what he is like.

Blisin,
Thanks for that I will try this line as well.
 

Spamar

Registered User
Oct 5, 2013
7,723
0
Suffolk
Make a list, with dates and times, of all the episodes of abnormal behaviour. Give it to gp and say, well you cope with it and let mum have a break!
 

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