Hi, I have only posted on here once before and it was a lon time ago.
Well here goes (this is a long one so thanks if you manage to stay with me)
My nan is 85 and has lived alone in a upstairs flat since 1988.
3 years ago she had a fall and broke her hip, she had it operated on and returned home to her flat. We got carers in and they visit once per day, make a sandwhich and a cuppa then leave. In total they spend 15 mins. Occasioanlly she has a district nurse as she suffers from leg ulcers. Other than that the only person that visits in my dad who lives about a mile away but works long hours.
Since my nans fall she has deteriorated and has become confused, depressed and hardly eats. She currently weighs 5 stone 9lb. She has fortisips to help her and rarely eats food provided for her. She hates having carers and reckons she can cope without them and would rather pay my dad but this is not possible.
My nan has stopped washing, dressing, putting her false teeth in and just lays in bed smoking. If we visit her she is never out of bed.
My dad is on holiday at the moment and is back on Sat so my brother and I have taken over the care until then. I don't manage to visit very ofetn as I have a very young baby and as I said she smokes alot. However I have visited every day since my dad has been on holiday.
When I visited I was really shocked to see her, she was thin, emaciated, smoking in bed and using a bucket at the side of her bed to urinate in (although the toilet is next door to her bedroom.
She is unsteady on her feet and is unable to self medicate as she isn't capable.
When I saw her she had dried feacise (spelling?) on her hands and down her nails and her clothes were dirty with cigerette burns in them. Her house is also quite dirty. She says she is self caring but she doesn't even get dressed. GP notes and carers notes all mention she is self caring.
She refuses to get out of bed for the carers and repeats herself all the time and creats stories which are not true. For example she thought my dad was dead in the garage next door, she thought the neighbour had hung himself on the garden fence and now she thinks my dad lives in a sweet shop. She doesn't know what day it is or who has been to visit her. She does recognices faces and names though.
I'm extremly concerned for her wellbeing and worried that she may fall down the stairs, set the house on fire or just dies on her own in the flat.
I think she needs to go into care but my dad says he's made a promise to her that he will never put her in care and she's terrified that she will go to a care home too.
If it was up to me I would have called the social services a long time ago but I think my dad would go mad.
I think my dad also needs more help with her.
I don't know what to do or where to start with her and was just wanting some advice.
She does have a social worker but it's been a while since she last saw her. The GP came to visit the other day and my dad discussed some issues and the GP said what do you want me to do about it. I think the GP wanted my dad to say I want her in care but my dad took it the wrong way and thought the GP was being funny.
My dad can't possibly cope with her and I don't have enough time as I work and have a 7 month old son.
I'm tempted to call somebody and get it all sorted while he is away but I don't know how he would react.
I can't understand why nobody has picked up that she is so bad but it's only till you have spent about half hour with her and she has proper conversation that you can tell that there is something 'not right' but her general apperance is obvious.
I've posted on quite a few boards hoping for advice. Most people say I need to urgently call social services regardless to what my dad thinks and that my nans health and wellbeing is important.
I think she needs help quickly but I'm not sure how things work.
If I call social services what will happen?
How quickly will she be put into care if needed?
Do we pay for care?
Is it social services that I call?
I just have no exoerience of this at all.
many thanks if you got this far. Anna x
Well here goes (this is a long one so thanks if you manage to stay with me)
My nan is 85 and has lived alone in a upstairs flat since 1988.
3 years ago she had a fall and broke her hip, she had it operated on and returned home to her flat. We got carers in and they visit once per day, make a sandwhich and a cuppa then leave. In total they spend 15 mins. Occasioanlly she has a district nurse as she suffers from leg ulcers. Other than that the only person that visits in my dad who lives about a mile away but works long hours.
Since my nans fall she has deteriorated and has become confused, depressed and hardly eats. She currently weighs 5 stone 9lb. She has fortisips to help her and rarely eats food provided for her. She hates having carers and reckons she can cope without them and would rather pay my dad but this is not possible.
My nan has stopped washing, dressing, putting her false teeth in and just lays in bed smoking. If we visit her she is never out of bed.
My dad is on holiday at the moment and is back on Sat so my brother and I have taken over the care until then. I don't manage to visit very ofetn as I have a very young baby and as I said she smokes alot. However I have visited every day since my dad has been on holiday.
When I visited I was really shocked to see her, she was thin, emaciated, smoking in bed and using a bucket at the side of her bed to urinate in (although the toilet is next door to her bedroom.
She is unsteady on her feet and is unable to self medicate as she isn't capable.
When I saw her she had dried feacise (spelling?) on her hands and down her nails and her clothes were dirty with cigerette burns in them. Her house is also quite dirty. She says she is self caring but she doesn't even get dressed. GP notes and carers notes all mention she is self caring.
She refuses to get out of bed for the carers and repeats herself all the time and creats stories which are not true. For example she thought my dad was dead in the garage next door, she thought the neighbour had hung himself on the garden fence and now she thinks my dad lives in a sweet shop. She doesn't know what day it is or who has been to visit her. She does recognices faces and names though.
I'm extremly concerned for her wellbeing and worried that she may fall down the stairs, set the house on fire or just dies on her own in the flat.
I think she needs to go into care but my dad says he's made a promise to her that he will never put her in care and she's terrified that she will go to a care home too.
If it was up to me I would have called the social services a long time ago but I think my dad would go mad.
I think my dad also needs more help with her.
I don't know what to do or where to start with her and was just wanting some advice.
She does have a social worker but it's been a while since she last saw her. The GP came to visit the other day and my dad discussed some issues and the GP said what do you want me to do about it. I think the GP wanted my dad to say I want her in care but my dad took it the wrong way and thought the GP was being funny.
My dad can't possibly cope with her and I don't have enough time as I work and have a 7 month old son.
I'm tempted to call somebody and get it all sorted while he is away but I don't know how he would react.
I can't understand why nobody has picked up that she is so bad but it's only till you have spent about half hour with her and she has proper conversation that you can tell that there is something 'not right' but her general apperance is obvious.
I've posted on quite a few boards hoping for advice. Most people say I need to urgently call social services regardless to what my dad thinks and that my nans health and wellbeing is important.
I think she needs help quickly but I'm not sure how things work.
If I call social services what will happen?
How quickly will she be put into care if needed?
Do we pay for care?
Is it social services that I call?
I just have no exoerience of this at all.
many thanks if you got this far. Anna x