advice plsssssssss

im scared

Registered User
Dec 27, 2007
recently (oct 07) ive noticed my dad has been going out less and less, become forgetful, unsteady on his feet, distant, has no converstaion at all. I do see him most weeks but after seeing him yesterday he has worsen so suddenly, I took him to Dr just before xmas and was told he needs to have several blood test first, and that if it is as we suspect they will come back normal!!! Im cnfused by that as they have all come back normal, he says that before a referral can be made these blood tests have to be done first. However the change in my dad is happening very very fast (well it appears to be) I realise he is 76 but I dont think its his age. he just sits vacant most of the time, wont leave the house, wont talk when he does he cant remember anything, often calls me by one of my siblings names, had a few falls, gets very agitated over little things, and snappy, He was at my house for dinner boxing day, and used his fingers on and off to eat his dinner, just got up and walk in other room when he finished he would never have done this sort of thing 6 months ago, he just sat and stared at tv which wasnt on!!! the only thing i could get his attention with was my baby grandsons musical toys, which he looked at. suddenly decided his going home and now!!! can this illness be so so sudden or have i been blind to slow signs.

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
can this illness be so so sudden or have i been blind to slow signs.

It can be either, but as none of us here are medically qualified to answer, you must try and get your father back to his GP asap.

The blood tests will probably be to eliminate first concerns. Now they have come back clear, your father will need further forms of investigation.

Because he might be deteriorating quite rapidly, please try to waste no time in getting him back to the GP to speed up diagnosis.

Take care xx


Registered User
Jul 31, 2007
The blood tests were done on my husband first by the Doctor to elimate any problems.
With the list I had compiled for the Doctor he was referred to the Consultant and the following week, we spent the day at Oxford whereby they did so many tests.
At the end of the day, we were given the diagnoised there and then.
It is a very scary illness, we are all dealing with the unknown.
In my personal opinion, I would read up on relevent fact sheets, which you can down load.
I wish you all the very best and there is always someone here on Talking Point. Christine


Registered User
Apr 15, 2007
Hello, and welcome to TP.

No wonder your scared things appear to be happening very fast. I agree with Sylvia and Christine, write a list of all your concerns and return to the doctor. If your Dr isn't forthcoming with further investigations than I would ask outright for them. I hope that you have some results as to what is happening with your dad very soon. Take Care. Taffy.


Registered User
Aug 9, 2005
This is such a difficult time for you. Please don't worry about missing previous signs. After my Mum was diagnosed, we could look backwards and see that there were earlier signs but we didn't recognise them for what they were. No-one expects you to realise this is happening, but now you are aware that it is, you will need to do as others have suggested.

The GP is the first person and s/he can give you suggestions and advice.

If I were you, I would be checking on how Dad is coping at home - I don't want to frighten you, but this sounds very sudden and it may be that he is no longer able to cope at home as he was doing previously.

Most people in the early stages are very upset by the disease because they don't understand what is happening to them. They often try to "cover up" by telling you everything is all right, when perhaps it isn't. The only thing you can do is check up yourself.

There are many avenues of help available so please stay in touch as other members can help you work out thebest ways to cope.

I feel very sad for you, and I hope that this is something which you can get help with quickly.


Positive Thinking Helps A LOT!

I have to agree with Christine and with Nell, who both suggest you try to stay calm for the moment - perhaps not their exact words, but their message - and please do go back to the GP and ask as many questions as you can think up, and describe all the problems you have seen. Write them all down, as they ping into your thinking, and take that list with you. We wrote it all out twice and gave a copy to the GP, for later reference. In our experience, the blood tests will have been done simply so as to exclude any other problems that might be causing the things you describe.

So you don’t need to be worried that they all may show ‘normal’ – that is not unusual.

Again, in our experience there is one basic test that your GP may carry out, if you and s/he suspects that your Dad may have a form of dementia, and that test is the so-called MMSE, which means that your GP will ask your Dad a number of questions, such as what is your name, date of birth, where were you born, where do you live, what day is it, or similar – including, in our case, what is the name of the prime minister! Each and every GP seems to have their own way of handling these things. That may be along the lines of what Christine was talking about in her own experience in Oxford.

But please do not be scared – be happy that you have seen that your Dad needs YOU, and a bit of "outside help" perhaps! That is all you need to do for now, and then take a deep breath and enjoy being with your Dad, as he is now, and as he was BEFORE you found that he may need a bit of assistance. But not necessarily looking into the problems that may – or hopefully will not – be in the future.

Take care of you, your family and your Dad!


im scared

Registered User
Dec 27, 2007
Thank you all for your advice. I really didnt expect such quick response. Mt dad has an appointment for Dr on Jan 10th first available unless I book him in as an emergency. Dr did ask him some questions when i last took him, my dad wasnt happy at answering them tho, just looked at Dr as if he was stupid. I have read up on some fact sheets tho its all very confusing for me, as I have ADHD and Aspegers myself. My dad lives with his wife (not my mum) altho I do get on with her she is a very private and dizzy person. She has said she is struggling and dont wont to leave him on his own, but also feels she needs her time.....


Registered User
Feb 17, 2006
I have read up on some fact sheets tho its all very confusing for me,

Yes it can get like that , it did for me, so much information to take in that the imagination runs a mock in the mind, that it can take your energy away leaving you feeling so down .

you do sound like your doing really good in trying to help your father .

My dad lives with his wife (not my mum) altho I do get on with her she is a very private and dizzy person. She has said she is struggling and dont wont to leave him on his own, but also feels she needs her time.....

Yes I bet she is struggling it is hard , could you suggest to her that when she ready they is help out they from social services , they can get someone to sit with your father while she gets time out for himself , they is a load of support they can offer her , but if she not ready to except any help . you could you sit with your father to give her a few hours break , till she ready to ask for support from social services

( I don't know what your family situation is your own commitments )


Registered User
Feb 26, 2006
Hi im scared

Please try not to be scared, given your own difficulties you are copeing very well. Seek advice where ever it is available, ask your GP's surgery where you can contact the Community Mental Health Team who can give you confidential help and advice, Social Services can also be of help. Make it quite clear that you are after advice and not action until you are ready.

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